brazilbean

Closure: A New Beginning (with Photos)

2007-06-12T12:12:00.000-11:00

Odd title, I know. But I thought and thought about it, and I realized that I want to close down this site. Closure has been a large part of Part II of my travels, and this site is one of the last things I need to finish up to be able to really say, "I am done."

I am devising a way to keep in touch though. I am not sure if it will be a blog or some other nifty internet technology, but this has worked and I want to keep it going since it has brought me so much joy. And some of you have "lovingly" called me to mat about keeping you updates – a fact I feel is more than fair since I did decide to leave.

For those not yet aware, I am currently in Santiago de Chile. No, I am not still traveling. I was here Oct-Dec 2006, and then I went to Brazil for 2.5 months and after that to the States for a month and a half. I am here because I live here now. Yes, I decided that this was my place. I knew when I left almost two years ago that staying in Latin America was a real possibility, and it happened. I have been here for 1.5 months and I still do not have a full time job or apartment, but such is the life when one immigrates to another country. I remain positive that I will find all of these things at the right time.

As you may remember South America kicked my butt. I dove into some deep personal things here. In the end, "coming home," meant endless things for me. Being here, among the Americans of the South really brought me back to a life I knew before America, the Beautiful. It reminded me of cafe con leche, rice and beans, child abuse, guarana, the pains (and joys) of growing up with a single mom, the violence I experience from my father as a kid, the joy of speaking Portuguese and now basic Spanish, and Latin beats.

And, because life gives us exactly what we can handle when we are ready for it, South America, or specifically, Chile, also gave me Bikram Yoga, amazing friends, and a therapist from heaven. In addition, I was able to work on an outstanding project with af friend to address child abuse in Chile's kindergartens and child care centers. Together these factors created a perfect place to work through what it has meant to be I, Júlio, reflect on traveling for so long, the work I do for social justice, and to be a more fully formed human being.

Some lessons, 'cause I know you like this format:

TOGETHER ALONE: We really are alone in the world. And, at that same time we depend a thousand percent in the connections we have to people and places. The trick, I have known, and I am continuously learning is to NOT shut ourselves out from others in order to be stronger, independent or to pull ourselves up with our own emotional bootstraps. Rather, the trick is to remember that we have the capacity to provide all that we need for our own survival, and also provide much of what we need for many other things. Additionally, we need people to depend on us so that we too can comfortably depend on people.

Love, as a concept, is interactive, and we need to be ready to be in that interaction if we want to build friendships, family, meaningful work and romantic relationships. And, what they (you know, "them") say is true – we truly are the best partners when we are well with ourselves.

I will add to self-health and say that we also need to be ok with the fact that most, if not all of our relationships exist because we need something. Love, unlike the movies, does not come without some sort of power cord, so to speak. We plug in because we need to learn something, we need to share in the energy of others, we need to be cared for, and we need to be needed. There is something to be said about being OK with this, about realizing that these exchanges are what attract friends and lovers, what attract us to our favorite teacher, or connect us to perfect strangers at coffee shops, the library or on the street.

I yearn more and more to make the connections I have authentic, even if I have made, and will make more mistakes in the future. Authenticity, I have also learned has to start with being true to ourselves. And, self-authenticity is the hard type to come by. It means looking in, being accountable to our actions, and looking straight at – our own reflection.

THE TOUGHEST PART: Transformation does not happen without pain. The hardest part of Part 2 of my travels was not the work I did interpersonally. This was the toughest personal work I have ever done, but I chose to be in it, and I committed to it 100%. The toughest part is that it hurt Drew, my now, ex-boyfriend. Drew is an AMAZING person that deserves the ABSOLUTE BEST and I, for many reasons at this point, was not able to provide that to the relationship we created. My personal process deeply affected the relationship which friends deemed DREWLIO. I am deeply sorry to him and those that love him. I wish it had happened differently.

THERE IS NO SPOON: As you know I love The Matrix and this reference is to the fact that we can all actually bend a spoon with our minds because that which bends is never the spoon, but ourselves.

My decision to uproot myself was a natural one since I felt (and feel) deep within that this is the step that I need to take right now in my life. While I have real fears of – will I be happy? Get a job? Have success? Make friendship connections like the ones in the States and Brazil? Be ok far from my family? Learn the language? – I also have a gut feeling that this is good, and right.

What has allowed me peace and comfort in this process is that I have gone back to the root in some ways. The root is the simple questions: do I want to do this right now and do I have it in me to succeed? A simple "yes" made my decision feel wonderful. Sure, there have been challenges, but these have made me value more that which I have chosen. The process more than (ok, maybe, equal to) the goal has been important. This experience is making it so that I bend more and more.

Finally, I wanted to the THANK YOU for reading this blog. I had no idea when I created it that so many people would read it, send it to friends, and refer to it months after I wrote about an experience. I felt (and feel) really blessed to have people like you in my life. I continue to hope that these words, experiences, random thoughts, overly honest life processes can be of use to you.

Photos of Part II:

Best Part II
http://www.flickr.com/photos/brazilbean/sets/72157600345851839/

World Travel – 10 Sets (9 of Part II, and best of Part I)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/brazilbean/collections/72157600005282858/

LOST ALL CONTACT INFO: PLEASE RESPOND

2007-04-09T06:11:00.001-11:00

Dear all,

One of the eventful things about traveling and moving to another country is that one has to always figure out ways to keep what is important in a safe place. Last August I did just that. I bought an external hard drive and saved all of my important files, including my Outlook rolodex with all of your lovely contact information. Well, the world of computing had other plans for me and all that I had in the Outlook file has now disappeared.

So, I write to you and ask you to please send me your contact information - phone numbers, address, web page address, skype name...all you got and are comfortable with sending.

On other news, I am now in Chile. I spent my first few days seeing friends and having a great time returning. Today, Monday, I am making contacts and attempting to find a job.

Hugs to all and Thank you,

Julio
New Chile Cell: 56-9-9406-8920

"I wish I could be like, 'Houston, we have a problem,' but I know I'd be more like, 'Houston! Houston! Pick up! Pick UP!' and come off all needy."

www.brazilbean.net

Shanti, Shanti: Livin' La Vida Loca

2007-04-01T19:08:00.001-11:00

Dear Family and Friends,

I have updated my blog with latest news:

http://brazilbean.blogspot.com/

See:

-return to the States
-move to Chile
-need job

Kisses to all,

Julio

"I wish I could be like, 'Houston, we have a problem,' but I know I'd be more like, 'Houston! Houston! Pick up! Pick UP!' and come off all needy."

www.brazilbean.net

Shanti, Shanti: Livin' La Vida Loca

2007-03-30T05:24:00.000-11:00

Yes, it has been a very long time since I have entered any text into this blog. Life’s ebbs and flows have kept me away, but I thought I should return to update you on a few important things.

Before I start I wanted to summarize the last entry that was uploaded November 14 and then December 18. The 14th one was probably memorable because I spoke about child abuse and a lot of other issues I was addressing while in Chile. The 18th one was basically me saying that sending the 14th one was a complicated decision and clarifying a few things.

Now, three months later I can give you some updates:

---My personal work in Chile was outstanding. I truly took the time to write in a diary, go to therapy, do a hell of a lot of yoga and have a lot of time with friends and fun. Together these activities allowed me to learn more about what is important to me, and how I want to live my life.

---In Chile I also was asked to help out my friend Romina with a project she was working on at the National Network of Kindergartens and Childcare Centers. This work resulted in our co-writing Chile’s national plan against sexual abuse and the maltreatment of children in the kindergartens and childcare centers of the country. It was amazing work and next Tuesday (4th) it is being presented at the Chilean congress, and it is now being implemented nationwide. It felt great to put my public policy skills to work, participate in a project so closely related to some of my growing up issues and help a friend who is an outstanding project manager.

---Chile also brought me the jewels of my travels – more amazing people. Juan Pablo (Juampy), Roberto, Rodrigo, Juan Pablo (Juampa), Manu, Mauricio, Max, Mane, Dulce, Fiore, Nacio were only some of the people that made my time in Chile and especially new year’s so memorable.

---Pepa (Romina’s) partner was my PAPA while in the city. I lived with him and we shared our mutual love for coffee, wine and Romina. He is heaven sent. He is an individual whose heart surpasses the imaginable and connects deeply and easily with you without saying a word. I miss him everyday.

---I also decided to skip Argentina. I had had it with being a tourist and needed to go home, so I left to my best friend Ana’s house in Rio. This was only a sad decision because I really wanted to see Christian, who is Ana’s brother-in-law, while in Argentina.

---Brazil was outstanding. It was the first time in about 15 years that I was there for carnaval. Ana was my carnaval specialist and made sure I made it to all the parties, events and samba schools. I danced many nights away, drank a lot and spend endless days on the beach. This trip was also memorable because three Americans and two Chileans joined me for carnaval itself. Tricia, Tonja and Yolanda from the States and Juampy and Roberto from Chile painted the town with me every night as the pictures will show.

---And, all of these changes made staying in my relationship with Drew impossible. This is perhaps the hardest part of it all. It does not help that I handled our separation quite badly. Drew is an outstanding person that I love very much, and who deserves all that he wants in this world.

---I am now in the United States. I am taking care of my two brothers Mitchell and Christopher while my parents are in Brazil adopting one of m cousins. He is 15 and his name is Jair. It will be a good change in the house, as we grow to 6 in our immediate family. It feels good and a bit funny after having grown up alone with my mother.

BIG NEWS ALERT:

Perhaps the biggest news from me is that I have decided to move to Santiago de Chile. My time in Latin America as I have written before truly moved me, and this is the right time to do it. Here are some reasons:

--Chile feels like home in my soul. Latin America has a texture that agrees deeply with who I am.
--Chile has one of the fastest, if not the fastest growing economy in South America and its internationalization makes it a place that has a global perspective on things.
--Chile’s army is not big enough to go bomb other countries in search of imaginary weapons.
--Santiago is a San Francisco in Latin America. It’s size and feel are perfect for me.
--Santiago is the only city in Latin America that has bikram yoga, a practice I know I need in my life.
--I want to speak a third language fluently.
--I want to be closer to Brazil.

NEED SOME ASSISTANCE:

--No, I do not have a job in Chile. And, well, I don’t even have the right to work right now. The principal way one is allowed to work is through being sponsored by an organization. So, please…

--Send me any and all job possibilities you hear about in Santiago.
--Send me websites or other places where you think I could find a job.
--Contact names for people who may know people who can help me out.

I leave on Tuesday, April 3rd.

Will keep this up from Chile…please ask questions, engage and most of all…know that you now have place to stay when you come visit the Andes.

Kisses,

Julio (Hulio)

Reflections About My Last Entry

2006-12-18T09:11:00.000-11:00

Writing the last entry was an experience. All in all I am very glad I did it. It seems to have been an important part of the process I have embarked on. I was also reminded that no matter how much I crave to be real, transparent and authentic, life reminds me that our liberation in some way stops where other people´s lives begin. I reckon it is the equilibrium of it all, living in a planet with so many people, and trying to be good so that goodness comes to us.

Consequently, I am very happy for the numerous emails I received from people discussing their own experiences with the topic, and thanking me for being open, and giving them a sense of OKness about their own stories. This for me was much of my intent in writing it. And, it was the gift of this type of openess.

And, I wish that my email had not bothered others. I received emails expressing the wish that I had not sent my entry out, heard of negative comments people made, and others requested to be removed from the blog. I sincerely apologize if I offended anyone. It was not my intent. I hope that it did not create a wall, rather than my intended opening, between me and you.

I also wanted to speak to two specific items in the email.

One is that it should be obvious to all that my life experiences deeply affect my mother who provided safety and care for me in every moment of my life. She is a hero to me in a million different ways, but more than anything in her endless goal of providing the best life possible for me. The experiences I had, the moments of danger, were meant to be in some way. I don´t think anyone who has ever loved me would have ever wanted bad things to happen to me. Yet, life is bigger than our wishes and bad things happen. It reminds me of one of my favorite songs about parenthood - On Children. It say that "Children are not our children, they are the sons and the daughters of life´s longing for itself. They come through your, but they are not from your, they belong not to you." We, the children of our parents, belong to life and its roller coaster.

The other item had to do with the people with whom I have chosen to share my romantic life. It should be obvious to those who have been with me, and those who have met my partners that I have not selected "bad men" to be with. Yes, it has happened and the "deceased" and Richard (long, long ago) definitely fall in the category of bad men in the end of the equation of my life with them. Still, I have selected outstanding men in my life and I am very happy to know in my heart that from each of them I have learned, been deeply loved, and grown more and more into who I am today. I am thankful that after so much that I have lived that life has brought me such outstanding people full of love, compassion and sincerity. Thank you.

I hope everyone is well. Things are good with me. Working very hard on all the items I wrote about, and feeling great about where the road is taking me. Oz does not seem as far as before.

CHILE: BACK to BASICS - A Journey Into G-d Knows Where

2006-11-14T10:17:00.000-11:00

It has been a long time and I am not going to write about a place I have been to. I am sorry to all of you who really want to hear about Peru. It will come someday...but for now I am in a different place, a different space. I hope this entry brings some light into the quiteness that has passed in the last few weeks. Do note that this email is pretty what some Chileans would call "heavy," as in the vernacular - QUE HEAVY.

Perhaps the oddest thing about traveling as I have is that when one allows one´s self, if one is open and willing to be vulnerable to life, to travel inside one finds a great deal of things that were unexpected. For instance, the last few weeks have consisted of a great deal of addressing unresolved child abuse issues I had simply forgotten about. I mean, why would I want to remember or overly focus on moments in my life where I basically had very little power and influence over my own destiny? Why would anyone? Those of you who have engaged me in this topic know that it has basically been a topic that I am ok with. Kind of like - it happened, it´s done, life´s short, move on. Maybe that happens with a lot of people. I don´t know. It seems understandable.

What I do know is that some combination of the people I have met in Latin America, doing a lot of yoga, and being in the region of my infancy has made a whole bunch of things come to the surface that are scary, some ugly, and most very good for understanding and moving on in a more healthy, true way. For instance, I have come to realize that a lot of the way that I am in romantic relationships (short or long term) reflect some of the ways I learned to protrect myself from abuse as a child. (NOTE HERE: Not abuse from my family, but a neighbor.) From some theories that I have exchanged over email with my therapist the lack of power in such situations makes it so one actually starts to see sex, or the provision of sex as a tool to liberation rather than simply the crime that is being committed. It is in no way a logical narrative, but rather one of survival. I think a lot about the stories I have read of child sex trafficking. For instance, if a 7 year old knows that the only way to end sexual abuse is to provide sex in order for it to end, and that is the only option, then it is a logical conclusion. And, an intelligent one for the moment, the situation, context.

Unfortunately, for those of us who have had such experiences, and I am certain I am not alone in this group of nearly 400 people who receive these emails, the narrative of survival sometimes haunts and hurts us. In my case it seems like I have translated and retranslated my narrative of providing physically, emotionally, patiently, etc, as a door to acceptance and liberation, sometimes to my own detriment. And, more unfortunate, is that these narratives can sometimes be the ones we fluctuate to naturally...marrying abusers, people with history of addictions, etc. And further and I believe worst, we pull away from those who provide us safety and comfort and love because that feels unconfortable, or we see the lack of struggle as lacking excitement.

The is no question that Child Sexual Abuse Sucks. And, there is no question that no parent or family member ever wants that to pass. Consequently, I am coming from a place of today, not what once was, happened, whatever. What matters to me is how to use that information form the past to inform the present so that I can move on to a healthier future. It is hard work, and add 20+ years of life with natural pains and aches and you get a whole lot of crying and reflecting.

For all those of you who have asked me where I am geographically...Two weeks ago I left Santiago, Chile and went back to Quito, Ecuador. I knew I needed to be there a bit more. As you have read, there was an amazing feeling of home there. My friends and the city itself provided a safe space when what I really wanted to do is go home to the arms of my mother. The night before I left Santiago I had a beautiful dinner with my friends Pepa, Pancha and Romina. And, I started to cry for so many things, so many relationships, so many moments in my life where I feel I have made wrong decision, hurt people I love, hurt myself, hurt. I cried for so long, and continued to cry on and off for the next 8 days in Quito. The good thing is that I happen to think that crying is a wonderful thing. I do believe it is the moment when our bodies can no longer hold emotion inside and the body just has to let it go. With that theory I cried with deep sadness and sorrow for a lot that passed those days, but also knowing that this was a path, a corridor that would eventually get me to the place I will someday arrive at.

Today I am back in Santiago, Chile. I am doing a lot of yoga, a lot, and I am taking good care of myself. I am cooking whenever I can, spending a lot of time with a group of amazing and healthy friends, doing a lot of music therapy, and writing a lot in a new diary. I am not out of the woods yet. Beyond the jungle that is our lives, I am not out of this experience. More is to pass, I can feel it.

Part of the challenge is that I am an intelligent, well-educated American who has been to a lot of therapy, done a lot of retreats and read too many books on self-care. This has translated into being in my head a lot. The Brazilian live-life-fully in me is having a hard time showing himself behind all of the theories of Freud, Jung, and too many Buddhas, Jesuses, and Jews. So, meditation is helping a lot. It takes me out of my head. This is important because the answers are not in my head, I know that too. The most simple way to put this with a few words is two lines from Alanis Morissette´s THANK YOU INDIA, which as you know, I have in this blog somewhere...

The moment I let go of it was
The moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it was
The moment I touched down

To me these lines are both powerful and tremendously scary. With all that I do in my life I still cannot say I have let go, but I do know that the last two weeks I got more than I could handle. I am still hesitant to jump off, and I hope someday soon to touch down. Will go bunjee jumping this weekend to practice letting go and trust. No worries, no intention of touching down in this case.

I also keep having these stupid MATRIX moments. Forgive the pop-culture reference for those of you who still read. The moment when Morpheus tells Neo that the Oracle did not tell him what would happen, she only told him what he needed to know, she showed him the door, and he had to walk through it. That is somehow combined with images of the PRICE IS RIGHT where I see all of you, my friends and loved ones screaming - DOOR #1!!!! No, DOOR #2!!!! Try #3!!! And I have to close my eyes and realize that everyone wants the best for me, that everyone is rooting for my happiness, but with your own lenses, lives, moments of pain, struggle and happiness. And I close my eyes really tight and I can´t hear anything. And I think of the Matrix again and all I can think about is that I wish I could look as good as Trinity did in her outfit, and I am back to square one. I did say it was a stupid moment, didn`t I?

And, finally, you may ask yourself why I would write all of this on an email to so many people. Your own answers are probably the right ones. For instance, I know I have scared some people in traveling, especially in Chile with my openess. And, I am probably deeply naive, but I believe this is life. Right here. This is where I find my self and how discover with which lens I will see the rest of the world around me. These moments of going inside, of understanding and feeling and being as truthfull as possible to and with myself are critical. When I break through them I find a truer more authentic way to connect with that which is inside other human beings in pain, and most importantly in joy, celebration, exctasy, jubilation, and in exhailing. It´s the moment I know that I grow deeper and more powerful, and the moment I can be the best Julio I can possibly find inside this personal Bermuda Triangle to show to you as a friend, lover or family member.

Cheers,

Julio, Jules, Juliano, Julinho

"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." V.

www.brazilbean.net

PERU: Lima - Part I &II

2006-10-25T05:25:00.000-11:00

I think the last time you read I had left Quito. I went to Lima for a day and then to Cuzco to meet up with my dad to hike the Inca Trail, then back to Lima for a few days before I took off to Santiago, Chile, where I am right now. Ok, that´s the geography.

LIMA: The first night I went I stayed at my friend (through Carlo) Thierry´s place. He has an outstanding apartment overlooking the beachfront of Lima. Outstanding. My favorite part was that the walls facing the sea where all glass. Pictures later.

I spent my day being a tourist. The historical buildings in Lima, and the Baroque-Peruvian architecture was truly exquisite. Lima is foggy about 9 months out of the year...so imagine every day I spent there overcast. It was not cold, or hot. The weather was pleasant, but it was like being stuck in Baryshnikov´s (sp) WHITE NIGHTS.

Two moments to write home about.

-Pizarro´s statue was among the many sites a tourist should see. So, I took off to find it. The guide (not Lonely Planet) said it was in the middle of the Plaza de Armas, the main plaza in Lima. I started at the center for while and saw nothing. Later I learned that the statue had been placed Pizarro´s horse´s ass to the city´s main church so it had to be removed. I consulted Lonely PLanet and found out where it had gone. So, I followed the map, got there, and again...no Pizarro. At this point I could have said, forget it. He was a conquistador and what the heck am I doing looking for him all over the place, but the gay over achiever got the best of me, and I HAD TO FIND IT!!! So, I started asking around, and eventhough everyone knew where it was, nobody really did. After searching 2-3 more spots I finally found the damn thing. It was HUGE, UGLY and well a man on a horse. Lesson: when you cannot find a Spanish consquistador let it go. In the end all you will really find is a horse´s ass.

-Pepe. Pepe is a great friend of Andres (from Quito). Again, the amazing connections of this travel experience along with the outstanding hosting by everyone has been beautiful. I met Pepe at his job and immediately we were off. He wanted me to see Lima at night. It was different, the lighting, the energy. We drove around for a while and ended up at La Rosa Nautica, a beautiful sea restaurant. I say sea because it is literally in the sea. We sat in the bar and had Peru´s national drink (mostly. it is also chile´s drink and it is a big fight, but enough.) The pisco was grand, but the cool thing was that the bar shook a bit when the waves hit. It was very cool. Ok, a little sickening for those with weak stomachs, but tres cool for me. We then went to SCENAS, an outstanding restaurant where I ate A LOT OF GREAT FOOD!!! Pepe has
an advanced knowledge of Limeno restaurants and the gastronomical tour was fabulous. Beyond food and tourism was the best gift of all - PEPE. I know I have said this a lot this time around, but G-d, I just keep meeting these outstanding people. His heart is huge. He is smart, funny,
interesting, truly another gift of travel, living, and well, Andres. GRACIAS!!!

I will write about the return to Lima here...Cusco was in between and it needs its own entry.

I returned to Lima with my dad. He fell in love with Cusco, and the idea of being in a big city was less exciting, but Lima is interesting so it was worth it. I think. He may write later and he can give you his opintion. We spent our days being tourists and, well, eating. For me much of the experience was seeing my dad´s shocked face everytime I spoke about food. Like my mother in Thailand my dad spend most of his trip wondering how I could eat so much, why I talked so much about food, and well, where it all goes. So...

THE COOLEST THING ABOUT LIMA Part Deux was RAFAELLOs. Suggested by Thierry who came to dinner with us and Pepe, and Pepe´s partner Carlos Rafaello. Rafaellos proved to be some of the yummiest food I have eaten in Latin America. The service was outstanding, food quality tops, and wines very, very, very good. Although we should have had the first bottle again, instead of switching to the Merlot. Perhaps my favorite thing in the world to do is eat, drink wine and be with friends and family. I loved being able to exchange in English and Spanish, watching my dad enjoy himself with my new friends and eating great food. Note here, we started eating at 11pm, a time that seemed normal to all but my dad. Nonetheless, he was a champ drinking up the wine and eating a feast.

I ended my time in Lima by going dancing until 7am. Pretty dandy.

What it feels like for a girl...in Sud America

2006-10-25T05:18:00.000-11:00

South America has been hard for me. Because South America has been amazing. I cannot explain in words, in any language, what it feels like to be in the energy that is Latin America.

An attempt...my heart skips as I find more and more the missing pieces of 20 years in the States. The passion for life in this part of the world is excilirating. And it is not because there are people going around saying...I went to yoga, I found myself, I meditated, I whatever, and now I love life, and I live it hard. It is a passion by people who are screwed up just like everyone else, who smoke, drink and eat fatty foods derived from animals that were killed inhumanily (is there humanity in killing anything?). It is a passion for walking down the street hard, laughing really loud, and talking really fast, and listening to loud music. I love it. It´s like the whole world is finally at a speed and volume I understand. It is home.

Saying this is of course difficult because, well, you are all not here. It´s amazing to have lived in the States for the last 20 years and have built a life so full of joy and friends and love. And it is wild to bhere where I know three people - Romina, Pancha y Pepa - and yet feel so connected to everyone else, so at home. It´s weird and wonderful and complex. If I could only move you all here for a while...a couple of years or so.

I love the coffee here. I love the meat, and there is a lot of it. I LOVE THE WINE. My goal has been to taste two wines per day, and make sure it is not 2 bottles per day. So far I am doing well. I have a list of good wines which I will impart with you as soon as I am done with the research.

I know I am on vacation, not working, etc, etc, etc...but the energy I am talking about is beyond profession. It is a core energy, a feeling of arrival. It´s a sweet everything.

So, my heart wonders, my mind races, and my blood burns as I reflect on all of my life, the things that matter, the feeling of alignment, my love for my friends, family and Drew and all that moves my core in this land that it still America, but farther down. As Drew so beautifully suggested, I will continue to let the energies pulse through, be in my travels, be the bird that I see myself being. And more and more I feel like that damn song I hate (Nelly Furtado´s Swan Song - Like a Bird) and that right now "I don´t know where my soul is, and I don´t know where my home is."

"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." V.

www.brazilbean.net

QUITO: A Final Entry, Really

2006-10-10T12:50:00.000-11:00

Special Note: I am actually in Peru with my father right now. We hiked the Inca Trail to Machu Pichu and are off to Lima for three days. I will write about this in the upcoming week.

I am not exactly sure what to say about Quito in the end of it all. To put it simply, I fell for it. After 1 year and a month on the road I have actually been to a city that I thought, "I could live here." It is odd. It is so San Francisco in so many ways. Its history, its earthquakes, its fog, its mountains and its quaintness (sp) really spoke to me. I saw this happening as the weeks went by and I learned the bus systems, the map of the city, and got a feel, a taste for the way things work. But, between deciding not to travel anywhere else in Ecuador, changing my ticket to stay longer, and missing it so much from Peru I know that it struck a cord that is really sweet inside of me. It was a magical place in which to learn Spanish, to live in for 6 weeks, and as many of you have read, the people I met were outstanding.

In the last couple of weeks I got a proper tour of Old Town from Carla whose knowledge and passion for Quito are invigorating. She also took me to dinner and the theater at Teatro Sucre, Quito´s exquisite performance space. I also ate out a lot with friends and cooked a little more. But, just moving around in the city, getting my haircut, my nails done, and talking to NGO made me happy.

Salome made my heart open up to Quito. Her yoga classes, along with Caridad, helped me relax into my experience, be present every step of the way, and offered an endlessly loving place. Yes, she kicked my ass in class and while others did the "easier" yoga, she demanded that I do more. But, with every push came and adjustment, a touch of care and knowledge of the practice. She has magical hands. This, plus the outings for dancing made life richer for me.

Dani made sure I got my daily dosage of caffeine and helped me practice my Spanish. She helped me become TOTALLY OBSESSED with SMS-text messaging, and it was outstanding to meet someone with an independent political perspective and a - do something - attitude.

Camilo´s hunger made me happy. I have cooked for many, and love it when people like my food. But, I have never been as certain as I was with Camilo when I cooked. He was honestly heartbroken when he heard I made something he did not eat, and his Gracias and adjectives after eating a meal I made were memorable. And, I also love that yes, he liked my food, but that, like me, he is a food whore...so in the end, I was good, but really, I could have been anyone else as long as I was cooking. LOLOL!

Andres, Roberto, Oliver and Tita (the cat) continued to make everything seem simple, and made me feel like I had been in their lives for years. Their home and their love for each other was and endless welcoming space.

As you know, my teachers continued to teach me even after I was done with school. Their commitment to their craft and their care for me came simply, without too many questions and no ifs and buts. This kind of care is rare.

And, of course, Carlo was really the glue of Quito for me. His own love for his city, openess to having me around, and friendship made me feel that everyday I was in a place where I was taken care of, loved and had amigos all around.

So, that´s Quito. There were many other people that made it outstanding Sadig, Max, Gustavo, Olga, and others. Thank you all. From the bottom of my heart.

"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." V.

www.brazilbean.net

QUITO: Hasta La Vista Baby

2006-09-25T09:47:00.000-11:00

It´s a bit crazy, but I am basically on my way out of Quito. I have been here for five weeks, with this being my sixth. All in all this will be longest I will stay in any specific place in my travels. So, before I go I wanted to share some pictures, and of course, some stories.

Note: For those who are receiving an email from me for the first time, you can go to the blog http://brazilbean.blogspot.com and read prior emails from when I left for Phase II.

PHOTOS: http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=1i2bgirz.cr9jon9f&x=0&y=7bjuqs

Carlo: Still, my relationships with Carlo has been one of the best ragalos (presents) of this trip. Our relationship has been a riot of laugther, misunderstandings by others who assume we are a couple, and a continous mixing of roomate language that sounds more like a marriage than anything else. Let´s make sure to have some basic information out there. Carlo is straight, so much so I think he may have invented the concept. So, girls, rejoice! And, yes, he is still single, but hopefully not for long. Second, Drew is the only boyfriend I have and want. But, Carlo is like an Ecuadorian Drew in many ways. Statements like, "We should keep this water for cooking." have become commonplace. As Drew tells me, by "we" I mean "you." (At my house I coordinate food and Drew outings.) Carlo also loves everything I cook, like Drew. And, Carlo also has many things he simply does not eat, like Drew. Further, whenever I talk about my novio/boyfriend it has become commonplace for people to say "Drew or Carlo." With these very funny moments it has been an absolute pleasure to stay at Carlo´s. His kindness and care is beautiful and so damn authentic. It has also given me a chance to, well, ge to know the man behind the legend. Or, do I mean, the teenager behind the man? No matter, I have gotten to know him and share many of my values, wants and needs, hopes and dreams and continue to build a friendship with a truly outstanding person.

Quito: It is a beautiful city and if you have a chance to visit it, you must. I love the fact that it reminds me of SF in the way that it is small, but hip. Everything weekendy happens in about a 1 mile radius, but the places are fun, the people are welcoming, and the energy is kind and always friendly. Moreover, there is access to so much natural beauty everywhere. The mountains are ever present, the adventure travel opportunities infinite, and the air thin, but very healthy. (Ok, the city itself is a bit smoggy, but Carlo will soon be working on that. I´ve asked.) In addition, yesterday I learned quite a bit from CarlA. The city´s old town is filled with history, beautiful architecture, and rich pebble stone streets, and SF like hills. It is a little expensive since dolarization, but nothing compared to a day in LA or NYC. The weather is everything. Sun in the morning, hot, hot sun, clouds and sometimes rain in the afternoon, a beautiful sunset (amazingly, often without clouds) and cold nights. Finally, it is an outstanding place to learn Spanish.

Shaking My Bones: Prior to my departure from the States I kept saying I wanted to go out. For one reason or another it never really happened. When you have 3 months with your boyfriend going out with a bunch of sweaty men versus staying home cuddling up on a couch isn´t really a choice. Entonces (so) when I got here I immediately took too Quitos basic, but very fun dance clubs. I tried out 4 different ones and I have not regreted it. For instance, last weekend I danced from 11-3am at one and from 3-7am at the other. I walked home as the sun was rising, so, so, so happy that I had danced so much. Ok, so, yes, I am becoming a little known as the dancing queen, but alas, I am in a foreign land. So, in case you are looking for hip-hop, salsa, regaton, disco, madonna, whatever, Quito offers it. Come and join the Quitenos for a night out!

Andres and Roberto: Another outstanding connection was meeting friends of my DC based friend George Walker. I adore George and ours is a connection for a lifetime. So, when he said I should meet these boys, I said, "sure." The energy we share is so similar to the one George and I have that it is fascinating. They are outstanding people who have taken me in, taken me places, introduced me to new friends, shared their lives and stories with me, and let me cook in their kitchen. Wait a minute! I think the only reason Andres is my friend is because I cook for him. Hmmmm. I know Roberto actually likes me, but Andres, QUE SUCIO!!!! Seriously, these boys are golden and of the heart. AND, Drew, yes, these are the boys that have introduced me to Oliver the most fabulous dog ever! (well, after MacGruff that is.)

Dinners: First and foremost. Thank you mother for being such a great cook. AND, thank you Tricia for teaching me the way. I have had a chance to cook for groups several times while here. A couple of times I actually planned the dinner before hand, but many of times I was cooking for Carlo and me, until suddenly everyone showed up and I just had to keep adding food to the pan. This is something I miss A LOT about being in Latin America. I love people that just show up, I love the improptu dinners, the random madness of people that make an evening so golden. I also wanted to thank Nicole and Clarissa for sending me the GROSSI family recipe. The lasagna was oustanding. I did it in 2 days instead of 3, but it was a hit. And, thank you Carla for letting me cook with your India spices! Oh, oh, I have also had a chance to try the top 3 sushi restaurants in Quito. I say SAKE all the way. It was the yummiest!

La Lengua: School was a great experience. It was tough and I am still making lots of mistakes, but I am glad I did it. I feel I have a base to work from now, and I hope the next two months I can really practice while in Spanish speaking Latin America. As you may have guessed by now, the highlights there are Zayra and Ines; two teachers who made my time truly worthwhile. Zayra is especially memorably due to our Brazilian connections. We identified our number one problem as WE TALK TOO MUCH. Zayra also kicked my ass. Something that, from a teacher, I cannot ask for better. We covered the subjunctive in two days. After the first day I complained profusely (jokingly) and asked how many other students she did this too. She said as simply as she says everything else related to teaching and learning. "No one. The subjunctive takes two weeks to learn, but you are good enough and there is no good reason I can imagine you giving me that would convince me to go slower. Ok, now, how to use - Ojala!" And that was that. I left Friday with a booklet of homework to do this week. Note, I am not in school anymore. And, I am to meet here Wed. from 5-7 to correct all of my homework, and so that she can teach me a couple more things before I take off. She, of course, is doing this on her own time. Me gusta muchisimo! Oh, she also sent a message to Carlo today - STOP SPEAKING ENGLISH WITH JULIO!!!

Carla: A woman after my own heart. In genderization (word?) it is always comical to find someone who is just like you, but of the opposite sex. It´s like looking at yourself, but in a completely different light. Carla is outstanding (hmm, that series of sentences made me feel self-centered, oops). Seriously. She is amazing. She has taken on creating a school, is such an outstanding source of positive energy to her friends, and like many of us, seems to do an outstanding job loving her family while doing everything else. She does all of this while having a partner in Chile. Her constant demand for respect of others, kindness, and doing our damn best however we get there is inspirational, and through example, she has made me remember a lot of what I want to continue to be when I work again. Oh man, I have to work again? Ok, so maybe Carla fooled me. LOLOL!!!

Goodbye: This Friday Carlo and I are doing a going away party for me. There will be 20 people there. Some key folks I have met. We are doing a caipirinha party and I am cooking some sort of chicken for everyone, along with some potluck thing we are doing. I am sad to leave to tell you the truth, but that´s the part of traveling that one cannot go without. One has to leave one place to get to the new adventure. One has to travel to return home to the ones he loves. It´s the life energy of movement, and the wave I am riding right now. I go to Lima for 4 days on Saturday and then I meet my dad in Cuzco where we will start our Machu Pichu hike. It is going to be great! Wish us luck. JOIN US!!!

"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." V.

www.brazilbean.net

Pictures: Cotopaxi y mas...

2006-09-11T10:33:00.000-11:00

This weekend we made it to Cotopaxi, the tallest volcano in the world. We made it pretty far up, and then we mountain biked over 20K down the monstrosity. Take a look at http://www.bikingdutchman.com/one.htm#cotopaxi for more on the details. It was outstanding. I think I almost cracked my head open a few times, but I ended up some place between the pedals and G-d, which means I made it in one piece. Ok, there were a couple of "planned falls" into sand mounds, but that was it. Will write more in a bit...I want to focus on putting up some photos today...

FIRE: View from Carlo-s terrace at sunset.

CARLO Y YO: In the midst of our downhill riding.

IN THE HEAVENS: Near the top of Cotopaxi. We were at the Refugio, 4800.

MONSTER: A beautiful and frightening view of this creation.

LA MALA EDUCACION: My two favorite teaches at school. They have taught me how to speak with respect, and made sure that I did not use "tirar fotos" but rather "tomar fotos." Tirar, well, means to do the deed in some way. They, and I, did not want to me to be asking the wrong thing from people on the street. Note that in Portuguese tirar does work for fotos, and tomar can work for, well, other things.

La Ciudad de Quito

2006-09-04T12:00:00.000-11:00

Amigos Y Amigas,

I simply cannot wait any longer to write about Quito. I will not be able to remember.

So here it goes.

CARLO: The best thing about Quito is Carlo. We were acquaintances in graduate school who knew each other through our mutual friend Jessica. And, between many, many, many cultural drinks at my house (read: caipirinhas and mojitos) I told him I was coming to travel in South America and he said I should come to Quito. That experience and his enormous heart has meant 6 weeks in Ecuador, language school, a great apartment with a great view, an outstanding instant set of friends, and a deeper connection with someone who is simply beautiful. We have had a great time between Spanish and English, a series of fun outings and a lot of heart to hearts at this house. I am really looking forward to the weeks to come. For those who always ask Mother, Drew, Mindy, Tricia, Nicole, etcI am being very well taken care of.

QUITO: Quito is a beautiful city. The mountains around it are outstanding, the people very open and kind, and there is green everywhere. The bus system is great, the traffic lights work (and most of the time people respect them), and I have yet to feel like someone is not being honest with me. The only down side is that it is basically chilly. It is the end of summer here and between the mountains, the valley and the Andes the nights are cold. But, all is well with my many blankets and heater. The days are actually very nice, mostly very sunny, and actually, thankfully somewhat not overly hot. You say, Julio does not want it REALLY HOT? What happened? Well, this is Ecuador, the middle of the world, the equator. The sun is both close and directly above us. A little bit in the sun can really burn. So, the tempered sun is actually betterand well, the skin is important when you are approaching 30.something.

LANGUAGE SCHOOL: In one word language school is HARD. The Portuguese is really getting in my way. I understand 95% of everything and that does make it easier, but trying to talk is another story. I get my words out, I am mostly understood, but I make A LOT OF MISTAKES. Some of the challenges are while Spanish and Portuguese are close in vocabulary the languages actually come from different roots. I am pretty sure everything comes from Latin (Spanish, French, etc) but Portuguese has a Celtic root thus making the actual structure of the languages different. (Anston, am I full of crap?)

There are three key areas I work on the most: 1) Patience and speed. I am totally impatient with myself and I dont seem to be able to talk slowlyin any language. My teacher keeps telling me I am too smart and I need to slow down and that I need to think more basically. She says I ask all the hard, exception in the language, questions. Maybe she is right, but this practical brain sayskudos to my intellect, but now I WANT TO TALK!!! 2) Direct and Indirect Complements. These are the lo, la, te, los, las, etc. They are totally referential (not sure if this is the right word). Let us say you start a conversation with I LOVE MY MOTHER AND I BOUGHT HER FLOWERS. That will probably be the last time you refer to your mother and the flowers as mother and flower. From now on it will all become LA and LAS and when they are used together SE. I am in LALALA land. It is a brain click thing and I hope the AHA moment happens soon. 3) Vocabulary. I have to learn more words, and I have to make sure to say the ones I know correctly. For instance, today I told my teacher I had 34 anos. Well, when spoken in Portuguese that means I have 34 years of age. But, in Spanish it means I have 34 anuses. Needles to say I know say I have almost 30 años.

LANGUAGE SCHOOL TEACHERS: My program is also a bit tough because it is all one on one. Each week I change teachers and work with that one person for 4 hours a day, 5 days a week. My first teacher was, let us say, interesting. He started the day by asking me a series of personal questions name, background, work, and relationship. Among my answers I told him I was gay and he said that was ok. I tried not to roll my eyes because he meant well. Then, he proceeded to correct me every time I said I had a novio (boyfriend). No, no, es noviA. Anyhoo. That was not the interesting part. He is the interesting part.

Later in the day I asked him the same series of questions. The answers. I am a teacher. I am a Hindu (He is not Indian and one cannot convert to being a Hindu). I am a vegetarian and I am celibate. Oh, and I do not shake hands. Now, I am a progressive thinker who has traveled to a lot of the world by now and I am all about respecting people, and I respected him all week. (Ok, this email is a tricky thing, but it is, after all, my Blog, and my experience.) So, here I am all open to my Hindu, Vegetarian, Celibate, No touch Teacher. Except, for the next 5 days many, many of his examples where about women, their bodies, sex, and he even asked me if I was interested in learning dirty words. (A request made by many travelers according to blogs I read prior to language school) All in all, a very odd experience. Very odd. I never thought he did not mean well, it was just wacked. Ok, so now the story does not seem so funny. I hope you enjoyed it. WAIT, THERE IS MORE.

This week I started with new teacher. Ines/Ynes. I love her already. Single mom, kick-ass, told me she was really homophobic growing up, taught her son to be homophobic and then had an amazing reality check when her son told her she had taught him to hate people. Together they worked on a lot of their issues and she is totally open and asks lots of questions and we talk and share. BUT, she received the evaluation Oscar did on me at the end of the week so she could continue my course of study. It read

Julio speaks English, Portuguese and has a good handle of Spanish. He understands almost everything. He is gay. He is working hard on direct and indirect complements I could not contain myself and asked Ines. Does the fact that I am gay give me some special language knowledge or affect my ability to learn, therefore making it into this report? We laughed hysterically for minutes.

AND, FINALLY, HOW AM I DOING: Well. It has been a little hard to get used to being away from home again. I miss Drewzie terribly. We put together a beautiful apartment in LA and then I took off. It has been hard to be away. He is intensely supportive of my goals and I try my best to support him in continuing his TV work from here. Of course, it has also been wonderful because we do seem to be so supportive even so far apart and that counts for a lot.

This is a very different trip. I am actually living in Quito. Six weeks is a long time with one outfit. Drew has sent me a package of my clothes that should arrive here this week, I bought new shoes (do not all be surprised at once now), and I go out dancing, have friends, and have days I am really energetic and days I just go home and read either The Color of Water or Del Amor y Otros Demonios by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I am also meeting with a guy who does anti-trafficking work tomorrow and I am working on other contacts. I made dinner for friends. A friend (Carla) and I are planning on cooking Indian food at the end of the week, and I go out to dinner. Yes, this all means I spend a lot more money. But it is now and will all work out on the finance thing.

I am happy to have a schedule. I feel like I am achieving something with language school. I am happy that I have plans for the future. I am not eager to have a job AT ALL, but I am ok that I will have to have one some day in the next year. I am doing yoga twice a week. I am continually working on just being ok with all that I am and all that the world brings to my attention. It is easier to be this way traveling. Real life is oddly incarcerating. I really did encage myself in 4 months in LA. I was so damn worried about getting a job, having a life goal, being something. Here I am active, but I do not feel the cloud of MUST BE in the air. It makes sense, I know, but it is actually happening inside, not just conceptually. I am hoping that this type of a trip, this way of traveling with schedules and things to achieve, will teach me more about how I can translate this into my future LA life.

Ok, CPS is kicking in. My arms hurt. Write and let me know how you are doing when you can.

Besos to all,

Hulito

"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." V.

www.brazilbean.net

SOUTH AMERICA: Entry 01 - Where, When and Why...JOIN ME!!!

2006-08-31T12:25:00.000-11:00

OK, South America, here I am. In this entry I will simply let you know what I am doing, where I am going, and some info on how I prepared - tickets, etc. This way you can come join me!

The main thing for you to know is that Phase II is much more planned than Phase I. There are a couple of reasons for this. 1) Traveling in SA is costly contrary to popular belief, and airpasses require that you choose ALL of your dates before departure. 2) I had the live and let live experience I wanted in Phase I, and while I still have that today, I have somethings I want to get done. 3) I speak Portuguese and am learning Spanish so SA feels harder and at the same time a deeper experience.

And, in all places I am trying to meet with NGOs doing anti-human trafficking work so that I can continue to learn and continue to shed light to this issue. Trafficking in SA gets VERY LITTLE attention compared to Asia and Eastern Europe and I am hoping to participate in changing this fact.

OK!

Itinerary and Goals (BTW, goals can change in a split second)

QUITO, ECUADOR August 22 - September 30
-Spend time and build my friendship with Carlo, an outstanding guy from my graduate program in MA.
-Learn Spanish. I go to school 4 hours day for 4 weeks.
-Live a normal life as opposed to the busy bee I was in Asia. It has been great to spend time and build connections with Carlo´s great friends.

MACHU PICHU, PERU September 30 - October 13
-The most exciting part of this place is that MY DAD IS JOINING ME!!! I am so happy. MP has always been a dream of mine and to do it with my dad is going to be outstanding. We have signed up for a 4 day-3 night hiking tour.
-Other than MP I will spend a few days in Lima with Carlo´s friend Terry/Teeri/Teri and my dad and I are going to the Nazca Lines.

SANTIAGO, CHILE October 13 - November 11
-The main goal here is to spend time with the amazing Chilenas Tricia and I met in India. Romina and Pancha will be there and I just want to dance, laugh, talk and drink every damn Chilean wine I can get my hands on.
-I will also continue to practice my Spanish and do some Bikram yoga.

BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA November 11 - December 9
-Here I am going to visit Dario´s brother Christian. Dario is the husband of my best friend Ana from Brazil. I also hope to meet Salvador´s boyfriend and my friend Michael´s friends.
-I am going here so that I can get to know the world of Evita, the LA NYC and, well maybe buy a pair of shoes or two.
-I am also doing a side trip to Montivedeo, Uruguay and Paraguay from here.
-AND I am going to the Iguacu Falls, a place I have always wanted to go to.

EVERYWHERE, BRAZIL December 9 - February 26
-Ok, there is a lot to do here.
-See my family is South Brazil.
-See my best friend and her family in Rio and many great friends - Vania, Carmen, Dami, Angelo and others.
-Spend New Year´s in Rio, the best in the world
-Go to the Samba Schools´ show at Carnaval in Rio.

-Travel to Salvador and Recife in North Brazil and go to some of the best beaches in the world.
-Do a 4 day-3 night Amazon trip.

AND, AND, AND
-THIS IS WHERE DREW WILL COME VISIT ME!!!! YES, HE IS COMING TO BRAZIL! THE IDEA IS THAT HE IS COMING FOR NEW YEAR´S. I am so excited to show mi tierra, minha terra to my outstanding boyfriend.
-AND, this is where my friends Vicki, Anthony, Sarita and Eddie are also threatening to come join me or Drew and me.

PREPARATION:
The best source of information for Latin American travel is my best friend Ana who is AMAZINGLY SMART and, well, a travel agent! She has helped me with every bit of this. Ana is to me in Phase II what Mindy was in Phase I - confidant, decision maker when I am waffling, researcher and well, someone who tells me to stop with the insanity and just go.

IF YOU ARE DOING TRAVEL TO SA, and ESPECIALLY BRASIL let me know I will send you her email and info.

MONEY: I spent about $3000 in tickets. Yes, it hurt, but I am going everywhere and not spending another dime. The budget for this phase is $10K.

THAT´s it. Ask me more if you want to know more.

That´s it folks. Off to yoga class now. This weekend´s plans include mountain biking down one of the tallest volcanos in the world, horse riding, and dancing.

Besos to all, and remember. I am not doing this because I am rich, nor because I have some Genie in a bottle. I am doing this because I chose to. I spent 8K in 7 months in Asia. That is less money than I would have spent had I stayed home in a job. Just a thought.

Besos y mucho, mucho amor.

Hulio, yes after all my efforts, HULIO

"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." V.

www.brazilbean.net

BEST PHOTOS of WORLD TRAVEL - PHASE I

2006-08-28T10:32:00.000-11:00

Dear Friends and Family,

Last week I started my 6 month travel in South America. Yet, before I start writing about this Phase II adventure in the Global South, I wanted to close up Phase I by sending you this link of photos of the BEST of WORLD TRAVEL PHASE I. I hope you enjoy them. It was hell to sift through nearly 10,000 photos. I am happy to say that the 145 photos here represent some of the sweetest and most beautiful moments of my journey. ENJOY!

http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=1i2bgirz.3ft4jbj3&x=0&y=5d58ad

I also wanted to thank all the amazing people - mother, the beautiful boyfriend, the outstanding Patricia, the Vickster, Sarita and Eddie, and the amazing folks I met along the way for being such fabulous world models.

Con mucho carino,

Julio

"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." V.

www.brazilbean.net

END OF TRAVEL Phase I - "I've been to Nice and the Island of Greece, but I've never been to me." Charlene

2006-04-13T17:31:00.000-11:00

Dear Friends and Family,

I still have a few things to say about Europe, but as I end PHASE I of my travels I wanted to share some thoughts and reflections with you. I will be home this weekend.

With each day that passes I am more and more convinced that my travels were not about seeing the world. It is true that I have seen a lot, and that I am very happy to be learning about how others live in this evershrinking world. It is also true that I knew when I departed that this kind of travel forces a person to deal with many personal issues, but I did not realize the extent to which it does push one's every button. Now, at the end of Phase I where I have visited India, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Germany, Belgium and Italy, I can say that much of the trip has been about the world inside of me - a world so self-evident and yet so unknown at the same time.

Today, I still marvel at our ability as people to hide from ourselves, to protect ourselves from fully experiencing the pain our lives have brought us from time to time, and at the walls we build that keep us from totally expressing the joys of being alive. So often we use sex, drugs, food, aspects of religions, and many other personal practices to keep us from connecting to everything and everyone around us. Now, more than ever, I sit in awe of our fears of appearing naive in joy, or our hesitation to let our whole being grin because we are in a world that admires stress, struggle and watching each other roll in the ashes of the phoenix instead of celebrating its rising.

As I have written before from India, the last several years have been tough. Between a tough job and an even tougher relationship I managed to loose my intuition, that core compass inside of us that ensures we survive and continue to make smart choices in our lives. I knew when I left the States 6 months ago that if I could choose one thing to return home with, that it would be my reconstituted core, my ability to listen to myself, and more importantly, to trust myself. I also knew that this was a central reason Mindy so lovingly planned parts of my trip and told me to "get out of Dodge". This, a reconnection with my core, is, without a doubt, the number one gift I earned in this adventure I so courageously and beautifully embarked on. Today I feel more alive, more myself, than I have felt in many, many years.

Coming to understand in the mind and the heart that we are outstanding just as we are is not an easy task. I use to think that the goal was perfection, whatever that meant at any given moment, so I went to therapy, yoga, retreats and etc looking to reach the everreceeding light at the end of the tunnel. I realize now that the goal is actually to fully except myself and embrace my imperfections; what has proven to be a very, very tought practice. Life is problems, and how I work through them is what defines the quality of my experience in the world. To live is to constantly work to be better. I yearn to be more and more courageous and compassionate with each day that passes and use my energy and wisdom to make my world and this world a better place.

It's amazing how often the things we say in humor are the things that touch us so deeply when we sit and reflect. For so long I have used the term - There are no problems, only challenges and opportunities for success. Well, today I still agree with this mantra (which got me through planning many conferences), but I have modified it a little. It now says - There are lots and lots of problems, and each of them is a challenge we must diligently work through with the heart and the mind, and each of them is an opportunity for success.

My travels also allowed me the opportunity to reflect on how thankful I am for the things I have in life and to shift my paradigm on a few things. Below are only selected items from many, many life changing realities.

MOTHER: What can I say? She is the alpha and the omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end. If you are reading this you know that my mother is at the core of my life experiences. BUT, that is perhaps the biggest lesson of this travel. She is and she isnt.

My mother would never say this, but she is the kind of heroine whose shield is simply impentrable when it comes to her children. As the oldest son, I got to see her at her best and her worst, and in all of it she was tremendous and absolutely perfect. Yet, as these Freudean models often go I also managed to hide myself behind her power, to protect myself from the world, as any child would with such a strong warrior around.

For years now my mother has worked to honor me for my own achievements. When I spoke about her when I received an award completing high school, then recently in graduate school she told me that I had earned all my trophies and diplomas, not her. When I thanked her for modeling triumph in the face of so much opposition in dealing with machismo, migration and poverty and all the issues I have worked against in my professional life, she told me that I was the one who worked tirelessly to bring about social justice and it was my triumph that I needed to focus on. And, a month ago in Thailand, when I thanked her for all she did and told her that so much of this trip was a reflection of all she suffered in her life, she once again explained that I was right, it has not always been easy, but that it was not her struggle that allowed me to travel. Her struggle, she explained, allowed me opportunity when I was young. What I have done with that opportunity - graduations, good work, awards, life successes, and earning money and time to travel, these things were all my triumphs, not hers. And with these words my mother has continued to teach me, continued to let me go, and continued to model the fact that we are the heroes of our own stories. We are, after all, the ones we are waiting for.

So, to mother, the truest Wonder Woman - Thanks for, well, everything, and for continuing to teach me that being myself is really the best thing ever!

(Oh yes, lest you think I don't still get yelled at for taking too long a shower, or not coming home for enough days, or not calling home periodically, you are wrong. But, with that comes the yummiest Brazilian meals ever, too many kisses and hugs to count, and well, the bestest cup of coffee on earth that is always had sitting in her beautiful garden.)
Te amo tanto, tanto, tanto.

MY WORLD: I cannot explain how many people have said to me in my travels "you have so many great friends and family." It's always so wonderful to hear the things you are proud of in life reflected back to you from the mouths of strangers. It has been a constant reminder of how lucky I am to have my world - my amazing family, my outstanding boyfriend, my best friends Mindy and Ana and so many friends who play different roles in my life and offer me so much every day. The world can be a big and scary place some days, and so, so, so many people are lost in it. Yet, for me, as I traveled and faced challenges, as I met people whose love structures were damaged, I continued to feel like no matter what happened, no matter how challenging things got, that I had an amazing network of love always available to me. Tricia and Tonja, Anston, Aryella, Jess, Jason and Julie, Roger, Anthony, Sarita and Eddie, Vicky, Nicole and Clarissa, and others who make my life so rich. I want to thank each everyone for so much love. I so often feel like the luckiest person in the world.

BLAMING: I reminded myself that blaming people for the things that happen to me is really not very helpful. It is true that people need to be brought to justice, and everyday I am very thankful that Melissa exists to get that done. Still, there are people who don't break laws, but still hurt others. The power these people have is so often the power I have given them in my life. So, my work is to try to understand where they are coming from, see if I think they have any real point in their action toward me, send them some compassion, and move on with my life.

CODEPENDENCE: I have read the book Co-Dependent No More as many times as the next person, and the reality of life is that we all have a little bit of codependent in each of us. More often than not putting other people's needs ahead of ours is a sign of care, and, yes, sometimes it is a nice way to dodge dealing with our own shit. I realized traveling that many of my actions in life are based on the fact that I want to take care of other people. I want to make sure they are ok, that they have what they need. This desire ranges from those closest to me to those that struggle in this ever changing world of politics and famine. In a general sense I continue to work with foundations and others who wish to provide resources to create socio-economic change. Privately, I have reflected quite a bit on the fact that I need to trust people to take care of themselves. Offering my assistance can be a loving way to provide further support if it is needed, but ultimately, knowing that everyone knows their limits and needs is a way to ligthen the load I place upon my own shoulders and respect others in their efforts to best live their lives.

CHOICE: I will be brief since this is the number one topic I have written about my entire academic life and the reason I have worked tirelessly for justice.
Choice is the reason we are human. It's at the core of being alive. Why do we feel so stuck when the whole world is available to us? Why do we believe we have no choices? If we look back into our past each and everyone of us will realize that we are capable of amazing feats both personally and professionaly. We are here today. We know how to survive, and survive well at that! Do we really need any more proof that we can do anything, if only we choose to?

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."

BIG DECISIONS. BIG DECISIONS.

2006-04-05T06:52:00.000-11:00

Dear friends, family and loved ones,

BIG DECISIONS. BIG DECISIONS. It is time to put a halt to the travel. I have laughed, cried, and well, it has been much better than CATS, but I need to go home. I am not a nomad who has no connections. In fact, I am an amazingly lucky soul who has a gigantic number of family, friends and loved ones. Because of this I am going home a month earlier and will be arriving April 15, instead of May 15. I still intend to go to Latin America for 7 months starting in July.

Some important notes:

AFRICA: I also decided to skip Africa. I am not sure if I can fully explain why. I can say that it was the right decision. Since I made it, I have not looked back. Other than not seeing a couple of great friends (Anston's family) I really feel Africa will be there when I am good and ready.

ASIA EXTENDED: I had originally planned on going to Africa March 3. I am still in Thailand. The extension was the right decision. It allowed me to enjoy and outstanding two or so weeks with Reny (mother) and now I am having a great time with Nicole in Chang Mai, where she has just finished her massage school. The ability to make these changes has been one of the amazing gifts of this trip, and the importance of leaving ourselves open to the changes in life.

EUROPE AGAIN: Well, yes. I am passing by Germany and Rome on the way home. I read a lot about "re-emergence" when I left the States and apparently the process can be pretty brutal. You know, going from having total freedom and 2 outfits to the important KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES in Los Angeles can be a bit shocking. I had planned on my Capetown time as a 3 week transition into the Western world. With that out of the calendar, and invitations to return to Europe I decided it would be the perfect solution. i can return be in the Western world without actually understanding anything.

I leave Thailand the 21st on a plane with Nicole. We split up in Taipei. She goes to the States and I go to Frankfurt. I will be in Munich, Aachen and Berlin, as well as Rome for about 3 weeks and then back home on tax day.

WHY IS THIS ALL IMPORTANT?
Choice. It is what I wrote my college essay on. It is why I have done activist work for so many years. It is why life is so precious for us humans. We can choose to do or not do things. At first I felt guilt - OH, but I had an Africa plan? Oh, what will people think, those of you following my travels? Have I failed? Am I going home too early? Am I a true trekker? Final resolution. All bullshit. Beautiful. Human. And, manure. I took off to see what the world had to offer and to grow deeper into myself. What I found (among many things) is that the values I so cherish are what keep coming through me more and more. Therefore, I love and miss my people and I am going home to see them/you. I feel very, very happy with what I have done. If it were all to end today I would have done an amazing thing. I have an amazing peace of mind about where I am and my choices, and that, my friends, is worth everything.

PLANS? INTENTIONS?
So, again, my intentions are to be in the States 4/15 to 7/15. Then I will go to Latin America for 7 months. I love this idea and am looking forward to its realization. Could it change? Of course. And, again, that is the beauty of it all. So, I will stay tuned to my own life as it evolves, and if you wish, I invite you to do the same. That is, be in tune with the blog...but MORE IMPORTANTLY, MUCH MORE IMPORTANTLY...be in tune with your life and the amazing challenges it brings to you so that everyday you can discover and rediscover the amazing person that you are, the outstanding way with which you survive everyday.

FINAL NOTE: This is not the last entry for this phase of the trip. More to write on -- eating 19 chilli pepper and the morning after, dancing with ladyboys on a popular Thai stage, riding elephants, and drinking cappucinos in a Japanese bakery in Thailand.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

ROME: New Skill! Photo Upload.

2006-03-29T03:27:00.000-11:00

WOW. I have actually never done this. Uploading photo. This is a test. Neat!

This is St. Peter's Cathedral. This is the place where the Pope gives his address once a year. (Rome, Italy - March 2006)

NICOLE: FINAL ENTRY By Nicole Trombley

2006-03-24T00:41:00.000-11:00

Julio and I parted yesterday at the Taipei airport, me home to Southern
California and him off to Germany to transition out of Asia back to the
States. [The baker's wife and son (from our Japanese bakery, see previous
posts) were actually on our flight from Chiang Mai to Bangkok, off to
Japan to see her family for a month. First they were travelling in
Thailand to buy silk for her father's business; he makes traditional
Japanese Kimono.] And for the record, as I arrived in LA lastnight, it was
clear to me that LAX seemed much more of a third world country than
Thailand.

Food & belly:
Julio has already commented a lot on this. But we really did tour Chiang
Mai via our bellies..pastries, curries, stir-fries, all sorts of fried
things including these spinach pancakes served cut up with a spicey soy
sauce, mango and sticky rice, curry baked into a custard consistency in a
banana leaf over an open flame, various versions of drunken noodles, crazy
little coconut milk things, fried fish with chillies, spicey glass noodle
salads...lots of garlic, lots of chilli pepper...lots of rice. We ate
often and a lot and, as Julio mentioned, washed it all down with Thai
beer. The cooking course early on in our trip gave me a good sense of Thai
cuisine (beyond Pad Thai): the balances between spicey curries and more
cooling foods; the tartness and tang of kefir limes, lemongrass and
cilantro; the role of fish sauce. This gave us tools we didn't have (or I
didn't at least), so we could then navigate the food stands at the market
and gain a greater sense of what was exciting.

As Julio has documented, we both came to love spicey food and came to
learn that the spice enters and leaves your body with equal potency. I
felt very lucky to not get sick while I was there - we ate on the street
and everywhere, trying to be smart about water, eating only from vendors
that were cooking fresh or had a good turnover of food, cooking things
thouroughly. BUT here I am home in San Diego feeling a little "Bangkok
Belly". I didn't leave unscathed, but I really don't think I "ate
something bad" -- I mean Jules and I ate all the same food and he's not
sick. And other than a certain sensation in my lower GI, I don't feel sick
at all. But instead, I theorize that I traumatized my intestines, too
much food, too much chilli pepper, too much Chang Beer, too much coffee.
My belly is having its own version of repetetive stress syndrome.

In fact, I just looked in the Lonely Planet Thailand, and they comment
about eating on the street and food safety, - Surely you've heard the
rumors about what foood in Bangkok is sage to eat, right? Let's see, how
does it go: avoid ground meat, crushed ice, something borrowed, something
blue - not that's not quite it. Just to be on the safe side, take that
mental list and trash it. By and large, most street food is not only
hygenic but delicious. Granted, you'll get Bangkok belly, which is often
personal intolerance to chillies or Beer Chang, rather than a tainted
plate of fried food.

Oh yes, and confession: I only ate one bug. I took me about 3 minutes of
focussed breathing and "letting go" to actually put it in my mouth (with
some tough love "just do it" coaching from J.). And when you see the
pictures, the one with me with a bug in front of my mouth is fake - Julio
ate that one.

Thai Massage
My purpose/excuse for this trip was taking a Thai Massage course. Thai
Massage is an Asian healing art with connections to Buddhism and yoga. The
receiver is fully clothed, and the massage is received on a futon on the
floor. The giver applies various compressions and stretches to the
receiver, and then proceeds to stretch them through some yoga poses. It is
becoming increasingly popular in the West, most likely because of its
connection to yoga; in fact, often it is called Thai Yoga Massage. The
system is based on an understanding of energy lines in the body, the Sen
Sib, which massage aims to clear up and open. Though some of these lines
correspond to the meridians worked in chinese massage, acupuncture and
Shiatsu, the larger system is different. And while some parts of the Sen
Sib have sanskrit names, the system seems to have only been influenced
early on by Indian massage. There is a Northern Style, based in Chiang Mai
and a more Southern Style, based out of Wat Pho (a major temple that has
served as a massage "school") in Bangkok; Julio and I have pictures from
Wat Pho of sculptures demonstrating yoga and massage. In the late 80's and
early 90's a revival movement began to solidfy and document "what is thai
massage" -- systemizing it, and making it "safe, effective and polite."
They are movign toward standardizing all techniques. From what I
understand, this is not an innovative, intuitive massage, but rather a
formulaic series, so that not matter what practitioner you go to, you will
receive a similar massage. My teachers did not talk about this, but I am
sure that the sex tourist industry's connection to "massage" was a major
factor pushing massage professionals to get official government
rccognition. "Politeness" was also a big deal: there will be no climbing
over the receiver on the floor, your fingers can only point in certain
directions, and you don't want to accidently look like you are simulating
sex acts with the receiver: that would be very impolite.

I had taken a course here in San Diego 4 or 5 years ago, and always
fancied heading off to thailand to take a more "authentic" course. Julio's
travels were the perfect excuse. I was in class for 5 days, while other
students in the school were completing a 10 or 20 week program (most of
them had no other massage training and had to learn anatomy, etc.). I was
reminded several times why I would not want to be in an intensive program
like that for more than a week or two. This school was definitely more
geared toward westerners; it is even recognized as a continuing ed
provider by US massage accredidation organizations. While I was there the
school received word that it has just been given the "Royal Award" as the
most outstanding Thai Massage school in Thailand - and no suprise to most
of us, it's run by two Thai dykes!!!!

The other amazing thing about this school was that I was able to work in
an international context for the first time since becoming a massage
therapist. Granted, most of the students were from Western and English
speaking countries, except for two Japanese surfers, the teachers and the
curriculum were 100% Thai. In massage, we usually think very locally; I
greatly appreciated the sense of being part of an international community
of bodyworkers. AND my cohort was particularly fabulous.

Queer Thailand
We hung with several of my classmates throughout the lastweek - including
a trip to Simon's Cabaret - a Las Vegas calibar Thai caberet show,
featuring Ladyboys in full drag. From what I understand ladyboys are a
category that includes males who dress in drag to full transsexuals; it is
pretty common and rather well accepted. Most anthropological sources
categorize this as a "third sex" long accepted and present in Thai
culture. It certainly doesn't seem right to call them "gays" or
"transsexuals" -- from what we learned it seems the term encompasses a
wide spectrum that includes individuals in drag to those using surgery and
hormones. For more information, see:
http://dragoncastle.net/ladyboys.shtml , and if you haven't seen the film
"Iron Ladies", Clarissa and I saw it a few years ago at a film festival
and highly recommend it. The cabaret show was over the top, and of course,
you know it is "drag show" when JULIO is singled out from the audience,
smothered in lipstick and pulled up on stage to dance. Oh yes, we have
pictures.

"Farang"
In Thailand the term for foreigners and tourists (typically white
westerners) is "farang" -- I've heard a few stories of the origin of that
term. 1) Farang also means guava in thai. Some Thais told us that bccause
guava originally came from far away, it was appropriately used to label
foreign peoples as well. 2)Another source told me that "farang" is how the
Thai people pronounced "french" and it came to apply to all foreign
travellers. Regardless of the word origin, there are enough farang in
Thailand so that it becomes one of the first Thai words we learn - the
Thai businessmen on the train looking through the train car and pointing
at travellers, counting us, while commenting, "farang, farang, farang...";
or the little Thai boy eating dinner with his family who looks at me and
Julio and screams "farang! Farang!" really loudly despite his mother's
scolding. We soon learned to use the term ourselves, saying "no farang"
when a tuk-tuk driver tries to overcharge for a quick ride or when you are
ordering food and fearing you will get the bland version of the food they
serve to tourists. And, we soon turned it into a verb in our own
vernacular, commenting, "we've been faranged" when the cook puts NO chilli
peppers in your garlic pork rice dish or realize that you have been
overcharged at the market.

Trekking
Except for the first few days in Bangkok, we decided to spend our entire
trip in Chiang Mai - relax and see that city instead of being on an
exhausitn whirlwind tour. Our one excursion out of the city was on a
one-day trek. These "treks" are a huge part of the travel industry in
Chiang Mai - it seems every hotel, every street corner boasts their own
treks, and every traveller goes on at least one. Jules and I didn't do
extensive research (I was at school and he was busy looking pretty at the
pool reading his detective novels), so we used the time-honored tradition
of word-of-mouth. We took the advice of these documentary film making guys
in our cooking class. They loved their trek, loved the guide...that was
good enough for us! And it was a chance, and it was blah. Not that either
of us had high expectations, so it didn't not meet our expectations, but
we'd never do it again and wouldn't rec this tour to anybody else. We
went with three other people, a French-Spanish couple and fabulous Mr.
Wang from the UK. Here is the summary:

1)We rode elephants - in a big circle up a hill. It was really boring.
Though for a few minutes we could see the elephants' vulvas and were
really, really impressed --- though I guess if you need a vagina big
enough to birth a baby elephant.
2)We were led on a bamboo raft down a river. Not the exciting white river
rafting we had secretly anticipated. The most exciting part was when two
local kids who were swimming in the river thought it would be really fun
if they splashed us. They thoroughly soaked me - I was not happy - and if
I spoke a lick of Thai I would have given them the scolding of their
lifetimes. BUT...I got to frown and be sulky and wet.
3)We ate lunch at a restaurant along the street. The food was totally
farang. And the only other people who stopped by to lunch were other
farang in other buses/vans.
4)We went to visit a Hill Tribe village. The "Hill Tribes" in Northern
Thailand are semi-nomadic peoples; each tribe having its own language,
customs, mode of dress and spiritual beliefs. Our understanding is that
most do not belong to any one country (I think this means they lack
citizenship) and continually cross borders and cultures. The people we
visited had been in Thailand for about 20 years, having fled violence in
Burma. Our visit was the more interesting part of the trek, not because it
was exciting, but because of what came up within our little tour group.
Now let me premise this by saying that Julio took the opportunity to grill
the tour guide over lunch about the role of the Hill Tribe people in this
trek - did they receive any money from the tour? How do they benefit?
Despite his prior positive experience with an NGO-affiliated tour in South
Africa, we were assuming this was going to be a pretty exploitative
relationship. And it was. We arrived and "the village" was several
semi-open structures with hundreds of hand-woven scarves and such, and
women working at small looms producing new scarves. We arrived joining
several other groups. There was no intro, nothing. Just some totally
irrelevant info our tourguide told us about traditional dress women
sometimes wear. We took no pictures. And we bought some cool scarves. We
decided to buy the scarves because we wanted to participate directly in
their economy. The French couple did not buy anything and were a little
troubled, commenting, "we are having an ethical dilemma." They felt that
they were being made to feel guilty about others' poverty and they were
being manipulated into buying things. We talked with them for a bit, and
then with eachother. In the end, Julio and I seemed to agree that whatever
economic system these people had been participating in (our useless
tourguide hinted it was poppy (opium) cultivation; since wiped out by the
Thai government) was no longer available to them, and they were in the
middle of this tourism driven industry in Northern Thailand. Whether it is
right or wrong, exploitative or empowering, it is their reality - they
need to send their kids to school, they need to feed themselves. We chose
to go on this tour, to "see the Hill Tribe"; we chose to participate in
this economy. Buying the scarves was the less exploitative thing to do
given the choices we had already made.
5)We then hiked to a waterfall and went swimming. And watched some poor
lady fall really hard on wet slippery rocks.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Light Up My Fire

2006-03-18T22:32:00.000-11:00

Thai Cuisine. What can I say? It's amazing. It has not surpassed my love for Italian food yet, but damn, does it come close. Nicole and I are mirroring Vicky's and my Vietnam trip. That means we are having a gastronomical tour of Thailand's Chang Mai cuisine. We eat everything around.

Our love for food is based on one central theory. STREET FOOD ROCKS! We have not eaten in a restaurant for about 10 days now. We walk around market looking for the best looking everything. We eat sweets, appetizers, main dishes, everything in site. We are currently committed to a young woman and her brother. They have food stand near where we are staying and we go there every night. We look at what she is making for other people, then order it for ourselves. In many cases we have had 3 meals between the two of us, just so we would try more things.

Of course, one cannot truly experience Thai cuisine without chillies. Both of our paletes have discovered a new world. It is called the world of HOT, HOT, HOT. It is amazing what chilli peppers can do to a dining experience. You bite into them and WWWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO, you are immeditately transported into a whole other world of emotions, tastes, and you go to you edge and back. WOW. As you know from the previous email, we have discovered that with a cold Chang Beer, it is even more amazing. We love it.

Important note. Thai say that the power of chilli peppers is that it is experiences in three main ways: when you eat it, in your stomach, and yes, the next day. Everyday now we experience the ring of fire. Using the restroom the day after I had 19 chilli peppers was an enlightning experience. For several moments I was one with the world. It was like my own Buddha had appeared. Amazing.

So, off to eat more. We are going to the Sunday market and we have not eaten all day so that we could spend the next several hours trying out new things.

Cheers!

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Thailand: Girls, Girls, Girls (NOT!)

2006-03-16T18:53:00.000-11:00

I have not really written about sex work in Thailand. I think it is because it is so evident and so depresses me. I am almost finished with SEX SLAVES, an interesting book on the topic. It discusses facts about many different countries in Asia, including Thailand. Some of the areas it discusses include:

--Asian men frequent different places than foreigners, ofen higher end places to have sex with women. This activity is simply overlooked by wives who find themselves in cultural contexts that allow for this behavior by men. New diseases are entering Asian families this way.

--Families are now starting to consider daughters valuable since they can make money in the sex market. At at a young age (7-8) girls are already promised, for an advance fee, to brothels. When they turn 11 or so they are sent away to make money for the family. In a majority of cases the family is actually in need of basic food and shelter, but more and more with the influence of capitalist values families have started to send girls away in order to buy televisions, cars, and kitchen appliances. The need to keep up with the Asian-Joneses has become so huge that families are making decision based on a revised value system. Let's be clear, Asian women have historically not been given a lot of value compared to men. But, now the value they are given is actually to their ongoing detriment.

---Girls themselves are seeing sex work as an opportunity to make more money than working at stores, waitressing, etc. The need for a higher paying jobs may be due to family responsibilities, paying for schooling, or buying the latest gucci sunglasses. Unfortunately, while many of these girls end up being workers in the sex industry, (a choice i have complex views on, but ultimately i respect the woman's choice) many actually become enslaved thinking they were simply agreeing to do this work for a certain period of time.

---Westerners have changed needs. In the past American and European men were mainly interested in sex. They would go to a brothel, have sex, and be done. Today men are looking for the "experience of love." They are renting girls for days or weeks when they come on holiday. These women are expected to be with them 24-7 and provide companionship (as prescribed by the men) and sex on demand. Of course, taking the women out of the brothel often puts the women at risk of violence or sexual practices that are harmful to them. Still, the experience of having a girlfriend, even if men are paying for it, is coming up and more and more common.

At the same time that I read this I pass by bars and dance clubs with young girls overly made up sitting and waiting for the patrons to arrive every night. It's a awakening experience, and it is also a tough one. It is augmented by sightings of older men with really, really young girls at restaurants, bars, shopping malls, etc. I go to a hotel pool for a few hours every day and there are three such couples there. I try to think that may be they are a couple, may be it is ok. But, my intuition and my intelligence are too aware of the frequency with which the pressures for sex work for money (enslaved or not) have done to Thailand and other countries.

I am also saddened that I have tried to meet with a few NGOs here but have been totally unsuccessful. Between my moving schedule and the travel plans of key people whom I was in contact with for over a month it just did not work out. Still, I am trying to learn as I go.

So, that's the news today. Not so cheery, but I thought you should know.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

THAILAND: Chang, Chang, Chang Mai

2006-03-16T04:29:00.000-11:00

All is good here. Nicole is about to finish her massage school. I can report from experience that course is going well. Of course, they are on one gear and Nicole is on another very fast track. She will implement this into the larger tool box she has when she does massage therapy in San Diego.

OH BY THE WAY, in case you need an amazing massage when you are in San Diego next...www.equilibriomassage.com

Otherwise we spend our days apart. She in school and me, well, well, at the pool, reading the N.1 Ladies Detective Agency Series (book #4 now) and meditating in the morning and the afternoon. We meet at 4 pm and have a cappucino and amazing pastries by an outstanding Japanese baker. After we usually have an outing - the bazaar, the new market, the trendy market. There are about 8 markets a night here. We do markets for about 2 hours. This includes lots of walking, at which time we burn the calories earned at the bakery. At about 8pm-8:30pm we go to our favorite street vendor and have dinner. She is this amazing woman and (we think) her brother. She makes amazing everything. And, everything costs 50 cents. We love it. We often have our meal with a Chang Beer (named after the beloved JASON CHANG, of course). At about 9pm we check our email and then off to bed to rest for the next day.

Today was extra special. We ate bugs! Yup. I had what we think was worms and maggot looking things. Nicole had the worms. It tasted great. Kinda like shrimp. The maggot looking things were really, really meaty. The special sauce helped it all go down smoothly. We have photos, do not worry. Oh yes, burping bugs is not so fun.

Otherwise all is good. Thailand is getting hotter and hotter as summer will soon arrive. The days are stuffy and full of sun and humidity. This means nothing dries, including you. You get used to it though. In fact, you'd be amazed how wonderful a spicy soup tastes in this heat. It really does something to the body temperature. At first it is really, really hot, but then everything cools down. You should try it someday. Well, you should come to Thailand and try it someday.

Ok, that's all for now. Hugs to all and be swell!!!!

We are off on March 22nd. We are actually on the same plane out of here and Bangkok. So much fun!

Julio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

THAILAND: Mother Dearest, Continued...

2006-03-12T19:10:00.000-11:00

I just wanted to write a bit more about the time my mother spend in Thailand before moving on to the time with Nicole and my future plans. I also wanted to THANK HER FOR COMING!!!!!!!

The trip with Mother was really wonderful. Of course, the resorts, the nice hotels, the endless dinners were a wonderful change of pace from my less luxurious travel, but it was our time together that really made it memorable.

As everyone knows Hurricane Reny is a breath of fresh air in any environment, country, region, constellation. Like no other visitor I have had, or traveler I have met Mother took Thailand and ran with it. She immediately loved the amazing care and host nature of Thai people. She immediately told me that yes, she would wear more conservative tops, but that Thailand also needed to realize that she was Brazilian and that cultural exchanges come in every form. In her case, it came in beautiful tanned shoulders that were well moisturized every night. I am my mother's son and everything that is big about my personality, is bigger in hers. So, her love for the beauty of Thai women was not held back. She must have told 1,000 women that they were beautiful, stunning, that their skin shined. She thanked everyone profusely for their kindness. She learned to bow in respect, to say thank you in Thai. I turn, she was a guest to this country that honors its guests. It was wonderful to see, after so much of my own constirnation (sp), someone who was unabashedly herself and at the same time unafraid to make mistakes and connect. Again, she taught me about life, as she has for so long.

Mother also helped with another key aspect of Thailand. Its economy. My mother arrived with an empty suitcase and departed with two filled to the rim. She is a smart woman and knows when something is a good deal. Thailand, in the exchange market,is a great deal. This was also a great place to watch her. I, as many of you know, have always been the perpetual negotiator. Three months in India and 6 months in Asias has only honned my skills and my drive to get the best price for anything. Of course, the fact that I LOVE the exchange with the sellers, the ongoing game of who will win the best price, only fuels this activity. Mother is different. While she obviously does not want to be cheated she also thinks that getting a skirt for $3 istead of $1.50 is no big deal since the same skirt costs her usually $30. So, this was also a place for learning. She learned when she came to ask me for money. We would see an item that cost 600 baht. She would talk them down to 500B and then she would ask me for money. I would think, I could get that for 300B. So, i would give her 400B and tell her to work harder. I know, I am an awful son and person. In fact, Nicole simply said, "G-d, you are such a boy sometimes." But, my mom would undoubtedly get the item for 400B. Listen my theory is this. Capitalism being the law of the land, NO ONE WILL SELL AN ITEM AT A LOSS. So, with that in mind I play the game.

But, of course, in all there is a lesson. So, my mother reminded of all that I tell people in my work...that maybe the sellers don't ultimately make that much money, etc. etc. I mostly agreed. After 6 months of traveling my politics is less clear on the "theory of the whole: people are struggling" and the theory of the individual: this person is struggling." I stand firmly that no matter how poor, we all should be honest and unfortunately many of my experiences are that "these poor workers" are not always honest. This has strengthened my belief that we should give money to non-profits groups as the best strategy for change. STILL, I of course, opt to give people the benefit of the doubt, which is that I eased on my haggling techniques and have since my mother paid a bit more than I usually would for things.

Finally, it was outstanding to see my mother so happy, planning her next trip to Thailand. She hates it when I say this, but she is so much the reason I am doing this. Her struggles have made my freedom possible. My life, my success, and this time in my life is a clear reflection of her efforts to create the best life possible for me. She also reminds me that my own efforts and struggles have gotten me here. I am learning to agree, but Freudian Theories still work themselves out too evidently in my relationship with Mother.

Love to all, especially my mom.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

THAILAND: First Impression, Old Addiction (Guestwriter: Nicole Trombley)

2006-03-12T03:21:00.000-11:00

From Bangkok:

I arrived in Bangkok in the wee hours of the morning on International Women's Day. I got to see Reny with her outstanding tan and fully rested energy. We enjoyed a great breakfast and she was off...with her many, many bags.

It has been wonderfully hot and sticky, and Julio amd I have been taking our time wandering around, viewing temples and lots and lots of buddhas (reclining buddha, sporty buddha, flower buddha...), reading tarot cards and, of course, drinking coffee...at Starbucks. I have to confess, we've been there three times in 2 days. Yes, yes, I know, here we are in the Global South, equipped with all of our really deep, sharp political justice analyses, and unravelling and embracing all of our contradictions...in the end, some addictions run deep. And that is why capitalism is just so powerful. We actually had somebody take a picture of us holding up our Starbucks cups on Kao San Road in the middle of Bangkok madness. I hesitate writing this knowing that people in the world might misread us ...we are being ironic, we are owning our contradictions, being honest...not trying to be arrogant and smug Americans.

All my years in social justice work have seeded a deep guilt in me..."I shouldn't be at Starbucks at home, let alone in Bangkok. I should scorn all the arrogant Western tourists and seek out the authentic Thailand." But...whatever. I am at a place in my life where I don't have the emotional energy to take that on ... and frankly, it just feels even more false...I am white, I am afluent, I am American. The search for authenticity is just as politically suspect/complex as hiding out at Starbucks in Bangkok. Two good friends who have not talked in eons wanting to catch up over a cup of coffee. Punto.

We're off tonight to take an overnight train to Chiang Mai where we will trek around for a bit before I take my 5-day massage course, and then Julio moves on to the next leg of his journey and I head back to San Diego. In the meantime, Julio asked me to share a few thoughts from my perspective...And well around Julio, my perspective is far from his view at 6'0"...

Some observations from 4'11" off the ground (in solidarity with the tiny travellers who have come before me) -- these are of course all about me, and not about Thailand:

Many things about Starbucks are quite the same. The pastries look just as nasty here as they do in the States. But a few things are different. Most importantly, here at Starbucks in Bangkok, there is a fourth size here in: Short. Yes!!! Short/Tall/Grande ... and sometimes Venti. What is that all about? American supersize madness just wouldn't go over here? Maybe, but I wonder if really all this "tall" language is just over-rated for people so small. Size-ism is not the problem here that it is at home, and so maybe the smaller people's of the world can embrace a "short" drink and still be quite satisfied.

I was out walking alone my first morning here in Bangkok while Julio brought Reny (who looked fabulous -- touched by sun and glowing) to the airport. Walking past one tourist area, I was approached by a local who was trying to engage me. Warned by Julio and other friends, I knew he had spotted me as a new traveller and I was about to be preyed upon. I was NOT expectig his opening line: "Hi, Miss, you are so short, just like Thai people. Yes, we are smaller." And he proceeded to use his hands to measure how much taller the average western tourist is...and then proceeded to engage me in a dialogue that was word-for-word from the Lonley Planet's list of scams to watch out for...

A cab driver actually looked at me as I climbed in to the taxi (next to JULIO!) and moved the seat forward for me, claiming I had long legs and needed extra room. Sure he could have been flirting or being overly nice. I did not need the leg room, but I just really appreciated being seen as a fully grown adult, and not ignored as potentially Julio's 11 year old daughter.

From Chiang Mai:
It is still quite hot and sticky here, but now we have bugs too and less breeze. This is a great little city -- the energy is so different than Bangkok -- but we haven't seen anything yet. It's hot and we are feeling slow. There are white people and travellers everywhere and everything is geared toward tourists, but somehow it feels so different. We are still planning out what we are doing...we are soo sure that we don't want to be super tourists and see everything. We did however make a huge transition for us -- we opted to NOT go to Starbucks here in Chiang Mai and opted for a Thai-owned coffee. They served our coffee with tiny little biscuits and a shot glass size green tea to follow our coffee.

We also signed up for a Thai Cooking course: Making the Curry Pastes. Clarissa and Drew shall be happy about this. Julio may take another day of cooking while I do my massage course.

We also SCORED on a great place to stay. At $15 total we have a beautiful little guest house with AC and hot water (even if I cannot reach the shower and Julio has to set it for me) and a great feel to it. Next time you find yourself in Chang Mai, check out SMILE 2 a great place that is the sister of SMILE (not so great).

More later...

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

THAILAND: Mother Dearest

2006-03-02T18:46:00.000-11:00

I returned from Germany on the 23rd at night, and 12 hours later mother arrived. Of course, after naerly 20 hours of travel she looked fabulous, alive, ready for Asia. Asia, a place she said she would never have come if it wasn't for my being here. Yet, she was like, "Let's go Asia!"

Her first 2-3 days she was both full of energy and crashing in the afternoon as her body got used to the new time zone. Perhaps the best moment which should give you a good sense of how things are was when I said:

JULIO: Reny, I was thinking we should go to these three sites. They are monuments and temples.
RENY: They look beautiful in the pictures. You said Bangkok was a great place to shop. Where do we do that?
JULIO: There is a weekend market with 9,000 stals. Today is Saturday, we leave tomorrow for Phuket.
RENY: When does Nicole arrive?
JULIO: In about 20 days.
RENY: Let's do this. You go to the sites with Nicole and shopping with me. How's that?

And, that was the last that was said about sites. We spent from 11am to 9pm in the shops. The day ended with the two of us getting foot massages.

Since then we went to Phuket. Specifically, we were at Patong Beach, an areas severely affected by the Tsunami. Things seems to be getting back to normal. Shop owners say that they still feel the economic effects both of tourists who are no longer coming to the region, and the fact that those who are coming are not buying as much stuff. Part of what has happened is that it has become cheaper to come here and folks with less money are traveling, and their budgets are focuses on hotel and food, not extras.

Phuket was nice, crowded, but nice. We spent most of our days walking around the shops and sitting at the pool at our hotel. The hotel was a mid-range place that provided all that we needed and was away enough from the night crowds for a good night's sleep. Reny loved it all and the daily massages we got made the experience that much better.

From Phuket we took off to Phi Phi Island, which is where we are now. We decided to go to the Phi Phi Island Resort. The resort is absolutely glorious with its private beach. It has beautiful hut/cabanas, fabulous grounds and lovely food. The beach, the pool and the great service provide for an outstanding experience. Check out www.ppisland.com

Will need to write faster. My mother just came back from a hike with a new friend, Sarah, and announced "WE FOUND PARADISE." A deserted beach nearby. I will leave momentarily to have lunch with them in Paradise.

Ok, ok, main thing to know. Parents are like everyone else. They are children. My mother's eyes when the boat came around the corner to PP Resort lit up. "Is this where we are going?" She was amazed at the color of the water, the blue sky, the ower of the sun. The first night we had seafood dinner on the beach. She said, "This is the most beautiful place I have ever been to. Thank you. I just wish Jeff and the boys and Carla were here too."

For the last 4 days I have my mother in a course: JULIO'S DO NOTHING COURSE. Whenever she says things like "do you thing they will mind if I clean the beach?" Or, let's go discover the island. Or, I am going to clean the room. I tell her, NO, SIT DOWN. DO SOMETHING MUCH MORE CHALLENGING. "What?" NOTHING. SIT HERE AND LOOK AT THE BLUE OCEAN. DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. It's been good. But then she found a friend and now we are off to Paradise...

Nothing is good, but paradise is nice too...

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Germany: Munich

2006-02-26T01:12:00.000-11:00

My time in Germany was eventful. After a few immediate plans changes I ended up spending most of my time in Munich where it was both cold and nice. Being in the "West" was wonderfully familiar. I loved that my friend Christian had a toaster, a hot shower, and a sofa. It was no surprise to me that I fell very sick within a day or so of my arrival. Seeing all that is familiar my body simply decided to unload the fatigue of 5 months of travel. I spent a few days moving very, very slowly and waking up in the middle of the night to change my clothes and bed sheets because I had night sweats that made me shiver. Christian was great and took care of me with tea, bread, juices and his clothes since I had only summer wear and all of that was sweated on after the second night.

The sick time allowed me some time to watch DVDs, listen to music and simply enjoy the wonderfulness of home - the warmth, the smells, the love and energy we all give to the places we create. Christian has a great apartment. As an opera director and set designer his sense of style is totally unique, minimalist, and in his case, with a great deal of budhist influence. He chants every day is a yoga devotee and someone who believes in following the energy that rushes through us all. This made for great conversations and also introduced me to some new outstanding ways to meditate, to chant and to enjoy life's energies.

He introduced me to his chanting group in Munich, a set of fabulous people who welcomed me into their home. Specifically, there was a couple that had spent a lot of time in Brazil, and this allowed for a great flow of conversation and cultural exchanges. Did you know that German's touch others at an average of 20 times per hour, while a Brazilian touches others at an average of 300? Interesting, no? HeHe.

As I recuperated we decided to go to a bath. Baths are popular in Munich. They were around before the war and continue to be a place where people gather to socialize, do sauna, and after eat food and drink beer. We stayed there for 6 hours and it was great. I think the most amusing thing was that women and men sauned together, and all naked. I was pretty impressed with the body liberation. And, in case you were wondering, this is not a gay sauna. In fact, "the gentleman behaved badly" is the buzz Christian told me was going around for why there were no longer male-only days. Ah, the gays!

My last day there we went to Dachau (http://www.ushmm.org/wlc/article.php?lang=en&ModuleId=10005214) the first and the model concentration camp for Nazi Germany. What can I say? It was horrible, awful, disgusting and another show of how humans can be animalistic. It was especially hard to be there after having been to the War Remembrance Museum in Vietnam and the Khmer Rouge Museum in Cambodia. It's amazing the horror human kind can create. We have so much potential to love and create, yet so much destruction occurs. Of course, this reality was made even more evident as we arrived back at Christian's metro stop and saw on the cover of TIME: GERMANY - AMERICA's SHAME with pictures of Abu Ghraib. And the madness continues. Are we participating if we are not in the streets about this? Christian and I spoke a lot about the national psyche of Germany and the post-Nazi world. Is there a national psyche of America? I don't know on most days.

Finally, Germany was also great because it allowed me another amazing friend in the world of travel. I have met so many people in my time out of the States. So many people have touched my heart in so many ways and have made me so happy. People I know I will know forever and whose life energy really affected mine. Atimati, Romina, Magda, Pancha and now Christian have all been amazing presents in my journey. I want to thank them all, and in this case, thank Christian from the bottom of my heart for all that he did for me while I was there.

Julio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

A Little Detour. Ok, Not So Little.

2006-02-14T22:07:00.000-11:00

Tonight I leave for Germany. Germany? Yes, I said Germany. What can I say? This, a random act, is eactly what I wanted to do in my travels. It's how I got to my favorite place in India (Bodhgaya) and my favorite place in Thailand (Hatien Beach in Ko Phangan Island.) So, if I don't follow these moments what was the point of it all to begin with?

I wanted to do this trek because I wanted to prove to myself (and indirectly to us all) that we can do anything in life. A part of me wants to say, "we" the middle class, first world dwellers, etc, etc...but that would not be totally true as it is not where I came from. But, we the people whose big hearts and great minds allow us the freedom to be. So, I implore again - do as Tricia, Drew, Sarita, Eddie, Vicky, Mother and Nicole AND Jessica - have done and will do...come travel with me!!!

So, I was in a small unknown island when I decided I needed to go to the "big city." This meant Bangkok. One the way to the big city, Manolis, my greek-german friend said - why not Germany? I said, simple, it's COLD. It's -20 there. Well, needless to say I got carried away with the idea and since I am now going to be in Thailand for a total of 2 months after my mom's visit, and Nicole's departure, I thought I needed a break. I also needed to do a visa run as my Thai 30-day visa is running out. And, Manolis is a flight attendand and found me a VERY CHEAP ticket. I have since contacted my friend Christian and between them I should have places to stay in Frankfurt, Cologne and Munich. So, tonight I leave with my KEENs! (summer sandles) and my cute little summer clothes. LOLOLOL! I will be back here in a week so that I can lovingly welcome HURRICANE RENY to Thailand.

What else can I really say? I don't speak a word of German, but I loved the German bakery in Pune, India. And, Anston went to Germany last summer and said it was cool. And, what does it really matter? I will also get to stop by Dubai where my friend Atimati (from Australia via India) is now managing a restaurant.

Julio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

The Unknown Island Storms

2006-02-12T22:53:00.000-11:00

Thought I would send you all a sign of life.

About 10 days ago I was leaving Hadrin Beach to some other place up north. I bought a ticket and all. Then I saw a friend hanging out waiting for the taxi-boat. He needed more people to show up before the boat was to leave. He was with a Greek guy, Manolis, and I asked him what the beach was like. In the explanation I heard yoga and meditation. After a few moments I sold back my ticket to the other beach, ran to get my bag and joined them. Good decision.

I have been in Hatien Beach for 10 days now. It is a group of 3 beaches. One that is known for the Sanctuary, a meditation and massage center, one that is tiny and fun, and one that is larger with some surfing and a few sets of bungalows. I chose Bamboo Hut, a place with an amazing view of the sea and also where Manolis was staying. It was a good choice.

My time here has consisted of the following:

YOGA: There is a teacher training happening right now and they have 5 spots for students to come to class. Since they are training the spots are FREE. So, I am now the guest that never leaves. The group of 20+ teachers has taken me in and I have had an amazing time while practicing some wonderful body and heart yoga. Very different from Bikram, very wonderful. The teachers are taught by this amazing woman named Chatki. She is a guru of some kind. She is nice.

MANOLIS: I spend a lot of time with Manolis. He is a Greek guy who lives in Germany. We have a wonderful relationship. We see each other when we see each other. No commitments, no pressure and an all around wonderful time when we end up at the same restaurant. At the same time we are both good logistics people and have decided to get out of this island together since getting here together was easier as a duo. He also says Mikonos is amazing. Drew - I already told him it is a destination for us.

CHRISTIAN: I spent a lot of time with Christian before he left. He is a fabulous German guy who is the one that actually introduced me to the yoga class, as well as Marco and Ananda. Marco and Ananda are a beautiful French-Italian couple that do a lot of chanting. Christian is an opera director in Germany and has been practicing meditation for nearly 20 years. As a creative person Christian deals with a lot of the same questions that Drewzie deals with at work - telling one's own story in the context of the forces of capitalism and traditional TV, or in this case, opera. This made for really great conversations and gave me an eye into the world of arts in Germany. We also had some great talk about the Holocaust's lasting impact on Germany. Christian also exposed me to the meditation that he does, which has been a blessing since it has really helped me focus more and be able to meditate for 15-30 minutes - a good bit for me.

BRAZILIANS: I have met many Brazilians here. This has been great as I have had a chance to speak a lot of Portuguese. I always find it wonderful to exchange with Brazilians outside of Brazil since their perspective is both homegrown and worldly. I need to practice more Portuguese.

BEACHING: Most of the time that I have been here it has been cloudy. At first I was really unhappy, then I decided to just be with it. A good thing since we have not seen sun for a week. I realized that clouds allow me the space and freedom to do nothing. So, instead of beaching I have been doing a hell of a lot of nothing. Somedays I lay on the hammock on my varanda (of my bungalow) and do nothing. Other days I lay in bed and listen to my ipod, and other days I go to the restaurant that overlooks the water and sit there for 4-5 hours doing nothing. Nothing is fun.

NATURE: Today is day 1 of a 5 day tropical storm. It has been raining non-stop and the sea is definitely burping out its life. It's not actually cold, just very wet. It's amazing what the sky can look like when you sit for hours looking at clouds moving. The colors are intense grays and whites and other such shades. The moon is also full. This means that night time does not look too different from day time. I can actually walk around with out a flashlight. It is so amazing and the water and the whites waves look outstanding hitting the sea rocks.

DEPARTURE: Yesterday I woke up and decided I was done with this place. I was going to go to Bangkok to hang out, meet with groups and wait for my mother. It was nice. I just felt that it was time to go. But, the weather changed and so I am kinda of stuck here. Manolis and I will see what the boat drivers are saying tomorrow, but my sense is that we are not going anywhere! Don't worry, I am not about to get on a boat in a tropical storm. It would only happen if one of these crazy moments that happen sometimes, comes up. It's like this...the world is falling. The rain stop, the sun comes out, the sea responds by being totally quiet. This last several hours, then it starts all over again. I would go if these weather "commercial breaks" were to occur. Otherwise, I will stay in my unknown island wet.

Oh yes, how could I forget!!!!!

URINE: I went to this amazing Urine Therapy workshop. It was two hour presentation on the great effects of urine. Urine has our personal genetic make up in it (like a vaccine) and is wonderful for cuts, hair loss, and internal ailments. Urea, a key ingredient of urine, is also the number one item in very expensive face creams. Check your bottles out and you will sea. Anyhoo, I have been using my urine for lots of purposes - cuts, hair, pimples, and yes, are you ready - I have in fact drank my own urine several times now. It is not as gross as you'd think. WARNING: Do not take malaria pills then drink your urine. That tastes HORRIBLE!!!!

So there, that's the news from the rainy and exciting unknown island.

Some websites for your perusal:

The Sanctuary: http:a//www.thesanctuary-kpg.com/
Urine Therapy: http://skepdic.com/urine.html Also, put URINE THERAPY on google for more.
Kisses,
Julio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Thailand: Ko Phan Gan

2006-01-29T06:12:00.000-11:00

I am on the beach, in the island that is famous for FULL MOON PARTIES. If you saw the movie "THE BEACH" with Leo DeCaprio you saw Ko Phan Gan. It exists totally to serve tourists. The entire island is not developed, but Hadrin where I am, is shop, to shop, to restaurant down each street. OK, there are only about 12 streets. So, relatively it is small, but busy, and for now, fun and with access to very, very expensive cappucinos.

It is 11:49pm and I got up at 7am to go to the beach. I also have to wake up at 3:45am to go to a Half Moon Party that started at 10pm. It have learned now that raves are best starting at 4am. By that point all the drunk people are gone and only the "true" ravers stay until noon of the next day, and then go to the after party that goes from noon until 5am of the 3rd day. Yes, yes, the important things I am learning in my travels.

Suffice to say to all of you who know and love me, everyone thinks I am a total drug addicts. Why? I apparently dance crazier than most people and with a lot more energy. Folks were asking what I was on the other night. It was funny. ***So that I am totally transparent I had had 2 Red Bulls. (These are soft drinks with tarine, a thing like caffeine, but stronger). They are not a drug, but rather an "energy drink" (love the FDA, love them). The byline for Red Bulls is - It Gives You Wings!*** For now I am enjoying this. It is not where I want to stay, but my friend Magda is here and we are having fun together. She leaves tomorrow and I will leave after my massage series ends.

Massage series? Is he studying massage? You ask. Well, not so much. See, Nicole who many of you know is a massage therapist and a close friend (www.equilibriomassage.com) suggested I have a thai massage a day for several days to feel the effects of it. And, I told Drew and Mindy and Melissa and Levi that I would have massages dedicated to them. So, 3 days ago I started my week series. I am committed to having a thai massage a day for 7 days. These occur after the sunset and my shower and before dinner. Today it was augumented with a lunch massage - a full 1 hour coconut oil, deep tissue massage. Look, my mom taught me never to take on the 10:30am-2pm sun and I have to do SOMETHING to pass the time. Tomorrow I am going to try the 1 hour foot massage since I will be dancing all night.

Other than the massage my days have consisted of coffee, beach, beach, beach, beach, coffee and, well, that's it really. LOTS OF WATER TOO. Oh yes, dancing in the middle of the night and spending time with Magda. I am having a nice time. Hehe. At this time I plan on staying here for the next 4 days to finish my massage series and then go north to a deserted beach.

SOME NEWS and WARNINGS:

TOP OF THE NEWS: RENY IS COMING!!! YAHOOOOO!!! SHE ARRIVES February 24, until March 7.

WARNINGS:
--The biggest Thai LGBT Festival is happening in Phuket in 3 days and I am NOT going. So please don't say things like - You were in Thailand and did not experience Gay Pride there? How could you? I will answer it now. Simple. I don't feel like it.

--The islands near where I am are world, galacticly famous for diving and reefs. I have not signed up for a course and don't intend to. The term used here is "dive slave" because people are so into it. So, when I return don't say things like - You were in Thailand and did not experience diving there? How could you? I will answer it now. Simple. I don't feel like it.

--The rocks near where I am are world, galacticly famous for climbers. I have not signed up for a course and don't intend to. So, when I return don't say things like - You were in Thailand and did not experience rock climbing there? How could you? I will answer it now. Simple. I don't feel like it.

That's it. I, of course, may change my mind about all of the above since I am here for 5 weeks, but in case I don't... Oh yes, not changing my mind about the gays. They are nice and all, and I even miss them so, but I am not getting on a 10 hour bus ride for anyone. Plus, I don't know how to be on long bus rides without Tricia anymore.

And, in case you did not know DREWZIE and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary on the 27th over the internet with video and voice overs. Very cool. Mindy even joined us. So, get YAHOOMESSENGER and we can see and talk to each other too!!!

Love,

Julio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Why Is Everybody Going to Cambodia?

2006-01-25T00:44:00.000-11:00

A couple of you sent this to me. It is a good article, not perfect, but good. Tonight is my last night in Cambodia and the SURVEY SAYS... A-OK ... a place to return to, more to discover, come ye', come all.

January 22, 2006

Why Is Everybody Going to Cambodia?

By MATT GROSS
JUST after Christmas in 1859, the French explorer Henri Mouhot left Bangkok to explore the uncharted regions of Indochina. It took him a year of hacking through brush and fending off leopards, leeches and wild elephants before he arrived at Angkor Wat, the jungle-smothered complex of temples deep inside the kingdom of Cambodia. Less than two years later, he died of malaria.

What took Mouhot a year can now be accomplished in little more than an hour, via Bangkok Airways' seven daily flights from the Thai capital to Siem Reap, home base for Angkor expeditions. Mouhot may have had to trudge three hours down a sandy path through dense forest to reach the ruins, but 21st-century visitors have the luxury of everything from tuk-tuks to Land Cruisers to an AS-350 Squirrel helicopter.

And while Mouhot lamented the temples' abandonment, today they are such popular tourist attractions that the measure of an expert Angkor guide is not his knowledge of Hindu and Buddhist cosmology, nor his mastery of English, French and Japanese, but his ability to show visitors the most popular sites - the Bayon, Phnom Bakheng, Ta Prohm and Angkor Wat itself - and have them wondering, at day's end, "Where was everybody else?"

But not all guides are expert at deftly avoiding the tourist crush, and there are frequently days when it seems everybody is in Cambodia. In 2004, international arrivals topped one million for the first time, a figure reached in 2005 by the end of September, according to the Ministry of Tourism.

In almost every part of the country, you can find a conceptually and architecturally ambitious hotel: In mountainous Ratanakiri, there's the Terres Rouges Lodge, a former provincial governor's lakeside residence that has, Time Asia said last July, "the best bar in the middle of nowhere." On the Sanker River in Battambang, Cambodia's second-largest city, there's La Villa, a 1930 house that in October opened as a six-room hotel filled with Art Deco antiques. And sometime this summer, you should be able to head south to Kep and stay at La Villa de Monsieur Thomas, a 1908 oceanfront mansion that's being transformed into a French restaurant ringed with bungalows.

And then there is Angkor Wat. Foreign visitors are flooding in - 690,987 paid entrance fees last year, up from 451,046 in 2004. And while there are no official figures as to how much each spends in Siem Reap, the town's dizzying array of luxury hotels - at least 10 by my count, ranging from the Raffles Grand Hotel d'Angkor to quirky boutiques like Hôtel de la Paix - testifies to the emergence of a new generation of high-end travelers, who not only demand round-the-clock Khmer massage but are also willing to pay $400 a day to hire a BMW L7 or $1,375 an hour for a helicopter tour.

Cambodia is not alone in its luxury revolution. Since the mid-1990's, the former French colonies of Southeast Asia have made enormous leaps in catering to tourists who prefer plunge pools to bucket showers. From the forests of Laos to the beaches of Vietnam to the ruins of Cambodia, you can find well-conceived, well-outfitted, well-run hotels that will sleep you in style for hundreds of dollars a night.

Change has come at an amazing pace. Take Luang Prabang, in Laos. This tidy hill town feels like a Hollywood set, with painted lamps glowing in French restaurants and brick walkways brightened by a yellow glow emanating from knee-high terra-cotta pots. Even the bare fluorescent tubes draped over lonely late-night streets do their part to make visitors feel as if they've arrived at the end of the world.

But it's not mere atmospherics they've found: Luang Prabang has high-end hotels to house a legion of W-worshipers, with enough bistros and boutiques to keep their credit cards on the verge of meltdown. There are spa treatments to succumb to, and Veuve Clicquot to toast with. This town of just 60,000 people is, almost all of a sudden, a luxury getaway.

Less than a decade ago, there were no hotels with infinity pools, no restaurants serving fricassee of wild boar, no silk merchants who took Visa. (Also, no paved roads.) The foreigners who climbed the 328 steps of Mount Phousi were usually backpackers who sought guidance from Lonely Planet's "Southeast Asia on a Shoestring." Today, the traveler with a Lonely Planet in one hand is likely to have a Mandarina Duck carry-on in the other.

Meanwhile, in Vietnam, well-heeled travelers are making pilgrimages to the Evason Hideaway outside Nha Trang, a coastal town 280 miles northeast of Ho Chi Minh City. The Evason, part of Six Senses, a small Bangkok-based chain of resorts, is without question Vietnam's top resort. The villas are enormous, with private plunge pools and wine cellars (and free Wi-Fi), and rock-star-style privacy is paramount: the mountain-backed resort is accessible only by boat.

The Evason is not Vietnam's sole outpost of escapism. Along its 2,140 miles of coastline, there's La Résidence in Hue, the Life Resort in Hoi An and the Furama in Da Nang. You can tour Ha Long Bay in the Emeraude, a replica of a 1920's steamer, or in the Hai Huong, a reproduction of a classic junk. The Victoria chain has been setting up four-star hotels in unusual inland spots, such as Can Tho, Chau Doc and Sapa. And the Evason is already at work on a second resort, in the southern hill town of Da Lat.

But in a country like Vietnam, still poor despite a vibrant economy, the luxury business is a tricky balancing act: How over the top can you go without seeming to take advantage?

The Evason walks that line with the deftness of a tightrope walker. The 17 villas feel inserted into, not imposed upon, the landscape. Motor vehicles are nowhere to be seen: everyone walks or bikes. Is this eco-tourism? Maybe, but when you're at a wine-tasting in a rock cave, or scraping grilled curried lobster tail from its shell, or spotting parrotfish and sea urchins in the coral-lined bay, it feels like something else entirely.

DESPITE all the changes in Cambodia, the immigration desk at Siem Reap International Airport remains a bastion of indifference. When I passed through in October, 10 officials sat behind the visa counter, wordlessly gazing at a mob of tourists, who were hurriedly filling in application forms, fumbling for passport photos and $20 bills, and in the absence of any signs or personnel to direct them, wondering where to go next.

Outside, however, it was a different story: A guest assistant from Hôtel de la Paix carried my bag through the parking lot - past a new terminal designed to handle 1.5 million passengers a year when it opens this summer - to a Lexus S.U.V. As we drove into town, listening to Morcheeba on the car's iPod Mini, the driver and I discussed development on the airport road: I could remember when it had few hotels and restaurants; he could remember when it had none.

At la Paix, an artfully serene white palace designed by the landscape architect Bill Bensley, another assistant led me into the expansive arts lounge, where I sipped fresh orange juice and split my attention between the movie "Indochine," which was being projected on the wall, and the youthful staff members, who moved about with a surprising sureness of purpose.

Soon, an assistant took me to my room - dark woods, creamy fabrics, functioning Wi-Fi and another iPod - and cheerfully helped me plan my stay: a trip to Angkor Wat (with an "excellence guide," he wrote on his notepad) and, almost as important, a local SIM card for my cellphone ("first thing in the morning"). I wandered to the second-floor pool, which flowed like a river from the spa and down to the courtyard, at whose center grew a knotty ficus. Everywhere: calm. The hotel was aptly named.

This was a Cambodia so far removed from the one I'd encountered when I first visited, in March 1997, that I began to wonder if I was even in the same country. Back then, Cambodia was the Wild West, with Phnom Penh its Deadwood. My hotel was the Morakat, which had two room-service menus, one for food, the other for girls. My spa treatment was an unceremonious ear-cleaning at a Vietnamese-run barber shop. (I still have nightmares.) I dined on streetside fried noodles and went to a pitch-black nightclub, where a friend and I were shown to our table by a tuxedoed midget with an enormous flashlight.

Oh, and the day after I arrived, unidentified assailants threw grenades into a crowd of 200 people demonstrating outside the National Assembly, killing at least 16 and injuring more than 100.

To say that Cambodia has come a long way is to state the obvious. Gone are the Khmer Rouge, the Vietnamese occupation, the United Nations democracy-restoration period and the era of warring prime ministers (the current prime minister, Hun Sen, came out on top in 1997). Angkor Wat has been swept clean of land mines, and it is generally safe to travel city streets at night.

When I visited Siem Reap in December 1999, it was far from bustling, and visitors to the temples could climb atop the rubble of Ta Prohm unbothered by security guards. The Grand, which dates back to 1932, had been renovated and reopened by the Raffles Group only two years before, and Angkor Village was the resort for in-the-know tourists and expatriates who wanted something nicer than a guesthouse.

Now more than 100 hotels serve tourists of all budgets. The Grand has been joined by a Sofitel, Le Meridien and the Sokha Angkor. On the boutique side, Angkor Village must now contend with la Paix, La Résidence d'Angkor, the FCC Angkor, the Shinta Mani and an Aman resort, the Amansara. By the end of this month, the One Hotel plans to open its doors - or, rather, its door: There's just one room, a duplex with flat-screen TV, iBook, Wi-Fi and a whirlpool.

These changes are perhaps hardly surprising, given Angkor Wat's popularity and the increasing adventurousness of luxury travelers.

"People want to take their lifestyle and life standard with them," said Grant Thatcher, the publisher of Luxe City Guides, a series of directories to chic treats in Asia. "People don't want to just sit in a flea-bitten rat hole and get eaten by mosquitoes."

His guides - to silversmiths in Bali, Dutch colonial antiques in Sri Lanka, orchids in Bangkok - are fast becoming indispensable for their up-to-date intelligence (each is reissued every six months) and cheeky, Daily Candy-in-Hong Kong voice. (On the Metropole, in Hanoi: "This grand old Gertie has finally got off her colonial bum and begun an upgrade.")

Luxe does not yet offer a Cambodia guide, but the entrepreneurs of Siem Reap are doing their best to prepare for it. Want to see Angkor Wat by hot-air balloon? No problem. Is $1 too little to pay for a krama, the traditional Cambodian checked scarf? A crinkly silk boutique version can run more than $50. Want your entire stay videotaped, then edited into a feature-length film? Just ask the One's front desk.

It's in the realm of culture that Siem Reap really excels, and to a degree that would be surprising in any tourist locale, let alone one dominated by one of the greatest and most perplexing artistic achievements of all, Angkor Wat. On weekends there are cello concerts, and in December "Les Nuits d'Angkor," a blend of ballet and traditional Khmer dance, takes place in front of the temple itself. My October stay coincided with the Angkor Photography Festival, a week of exhibitions, workshops and exclusive soirées.

Just add a soothing glass of pastis, and it's easy to imagine you're in a hub of sophistication, shuttling between cocktail parties, fancy restaurants and gallery openings with a crowd of like-minded travelers. Except that everywhere in Siem Reap - and throughout Cambodia - are reminders of the country's wretched history, crushing poverty and political mismanagement. Take two steps outside your hotel, and you'll find people sleeping in the streets, some of them missing limbs. (Still, there are fewer today than in the past.)

Corruption is rampant. Villagers are routinely evicted at gunpoint from their land by the wealthy and well-connected, critics of Hun Sen's policies are liable to find themselves imprisoned, and the leader of the small political opposition, Sam Rainsy, who organized the tragic 1997 demonstration, lost his parliamentary immunity a year ago and fled the country to escape defamation charges; last month, a court convicted him in absentia. The belief among many foreigners living in Cambodia is that this constitutional monarchy is really a totalitarian kleptocracy, its officials enriching themselves at the expense of aid organizations (which heavily subsidize the government's budget), not to mention the long-suffering Cambodian people.

Which makes it all the more stunning and delightful and sad that those Cambodians are, for the most part, some of the sweetest people you'll ever meet. Show kindness to a driver, to a bellhop, to the newly middle-class guy drinking a Heineken next to you at the FCC bar, and you'll have an instant friend. After all the dehumanizing treatment they've put up with over the last 30 years, Cambodians, it seems to me, just want to be considered human beings, equals despite the financial disparity between them and the average foreign tourist.

It's enough to make you feel guilty as you soak in your freestanding terrazzo tub at la Paix, listening to Miles Davis on the iPod. But the high-end hotels are all too aware that their room rates - $200 to as much as $1,900 -can surpass what the average Cambodian earns in a year. La Paix and its sister, the Shinta Mani, a hotel and hospitality training institute, offer a menu of "community-based activities" that lets tourists finance anything from school supplies ($12) to a breeding pair of piglets ($60) to the building of a new house ($980). The One Hotel plans a similar "Good Karma" package.

F OR some people, it may be hard to imagine Cambodia as a luxury traveler's paradise. Are there really tourists willing to shell out hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a night to see Angkor Wat - knowing that their fancy hotels will not be like Jamaican all-inclusives, conveniently keeping the gritty outside world at bay?

I posed the question to Toby Anderson, manager of the Amansara, possibly the nicest - and, at $650 a night and up, definitely the most expensive - resort in town. A former royal residence, the Amansara, with its single-story modernist architecture, still feels like a swinging-60's pad. You can easily imagine Norodom Sihanouk, the former king, standing by the pool with a flute of Champagne in one manicured hand.

I followed Mr. Anderson, a tall, fair-featured Australian, to the library, as he rebuffed my suggestion that his guests might have different expectations of Cambodia.

"They're well read, they know the history and situation," he said. "They're looking for a Cambodian experience.

"I was a backpacker once," he added. "I still like to backpack. I don't know whether the mindset is that different. Does being able to stay in the Amansara change what you experience?"

Indeed, he was probably right. Once you ride the vintage Mercedes limo outside the gates of the Amansara compound, you are unmistakably, unavoidably in Cambodia: crumbling roads, frequent floods, implacable heat and tour guides who coolly unload personal tales of Khmer Rouge horror. It's not as if you can, by dint of a fat wallet, hide from this reality.

And why would you want to? The draw for millions of people is not just plush beds and nimble-fingered masseuses; it's these three countries' uniquely messy histories and the ways all are struggling to move forward.

In the end, what that fat wallet does get you is simply the opportunity to travel - which is, as Henri Mouhot understood, the greatest luxury of all. "Even if destined here to meet my death," he wrote in his journals, "I would not change my lot for all the joys and pleasures of the civilized world."

If You Go

GETTING THERE

You can fly from Newark to Siem Reap on Singapore Air, 800-742-3333, www.singaporeair.com, (with a stop in Singapore, a 22-hour trip). Fares start about $1,760 for executive economy and $6,365 for business, with taxes.

GETTING AROUND

The telephone code for Cambodia is 855.

Since Siem Reap has no formal taxi service, the most common means of transport is the tuk-tuk, or motorized rickshaw, which offers little protection from rain, dust, noise and heat. Still, they're convenient. Most rides around town cost less than $2 (generally, dollars are preferred to riels).

Renting a car is far more relaxing. Your hotel can arrange anything from a four-wheel drive to a vintage limousine. A Toyota Land Cruiser with driver will run $17 an hour at Hôtel de la Paix; the BMW at the Raffles Grand is $400 a day.

To see the temples by helicopter, contact Angkor Scenic Flights, near the Old Market (12-814-500 angkorscenicflights.com). An eight-minute Angkor Wat flyby costs $68 a person (three to five people); a 14-minute flight is $120. Charter flights can get you quickly to temples that might take all day to reach by land, for $1,375 an hour, plus taxes.

WHERE TO STAY

Outside Phnom Penh, Cambodians are not big on addresses. Once I asked a receptionist the name of the street her hotel was on. "I forget," she said after a moment, "because I don't care."

At the 74-year-old Raffles Grand Hotel d'Angkor, the past is on display everywhere you look: the white-gravel driveway, the iron-cage elevator, the colonial-style bathroom fixtures and ceiling fans. The restaurant requires men to wear jackets at dinner. Still, it's far from stuffy, with visitors drinking gin and tonics in the Elephant Bar. The hotel is at 1 Vithei Charles de Gaulle, Khum Svay Dang Kum, 63-963-888, www.raffles.com. Doubles start at $360, but for an extra-special time, book the 3,180-square-foot villa ($1,900 a night).

Though Hôtel de la Paix (Sivatha Boulevard, 63-966-000, hoteldelapaixangkor.com) is new, its roots run back a half-century to the original Paix, an Art Deco hotel that stood on the same spot; its owner was a guerilla fighter -turned-businessman named Dap Chhuon. The $400-a-night duplex suites have rooftop terraces the size of a Manhattan one-bedroom and, of course, every room has an iPod. Standard doubles from $195.

The Amansara, on the road to Angkor (63-760-333, amanresorts.com), may be the anti-Grand: Modern rather than Classical, intimate rather than sprawling, casual rather than formal. The suites, starting at $650, are big enough to have their own courtyards. Twelve new suites have plunge pools ($850). Two meals a day are included, as well as a car and driver for visiting the temples.

WHERE TO EAT AND DRINK

While Cambodian food looks a bit like that of neighboring Thailand and Vietnam - curries and stews, noodle dishes and lots of rice - it's rarely as tasty. Still, the most ambitious restaurants in town like Meric, at Hôtel de la Paix (63-966-000) are trying to resurrect Cambodian fine dining. Paul Hutt, Meric's chef (and a friend of mine) is devoted to digging up unusual ingredients, like dried snake, and glamming up traditional peasant food, like rice flakes and prahok, the ubiquitous and pungent fish paste. The Khmer set menu is usually $35 a person (many restaurants price in dollars).

For classic Cambodian food, Khmer Kitchen, in an alley near the Old Market called the Passage (12-763-468), may be the best in town. It's not fancy, but the menu of simple curries, fried pumpkin and spicy meat salads called larb was good enough for Mick Jagger and, at about $12 for dinner for two, cheap enough for his fans.

Dead Fish Tower (Sivatha Street, 12-630-377, talesofasia.com/cambodia-deadfish.htm) is a bizarre Cambodian take on dinner theater. Upstairs, you can watch traditional dancing and downstairs, you can feed the crocodiles. (They get their fish raw - happily, you get it curried.) Dinner for two is about $15.

In a more modern vein, there's Abacus (Om Khun Street, 12-644-286). Get a table amid the silk lanterns in the garden, and sample entrees like the ostrich in red-wine sauce ($13).

There are a million bars in Siem Reap, many of them on what has come to be known as Pub Street, and most filled with Australian backpackers. But nearby there's also Laundry Bart (276 Group 10, Module 1 Village, east of the Old Market, 16-962-026), a slick, dark lounge that feels like the East Village circa 1995.

Linga, near the Old Market Across from the One Hotel (12-246-912, lingabar.com), is a straight-friendly gay bar with expertly mixed cocktails.

MATT GROSS is working on a novel about 1950's Cambodia.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

VIETNAM: Part II (Guest Writer - Vicky Rateau

2006-01-24T16:19:00.000-11:00

Enjoying my last few days of vacation...

I think the best way to capture the Vietnam experience is to share memorable moments. At this point, you've already heard about the "artic cruise" and our eating our way through Hanoi. I'll share some other memorable moments in upcoming emails. We've got a little time before we hit Angkor Wat again for sunset so we're cooling away in an internet cafe. (Oh, if you didn't know, my vacation got extended to the end of this week.) For the time we have left, I thought I'd share this song...

Julio and I have have composed a song to the tune of the "Do, Re, Me, Fa, So, La" from the SOUND OF MUSIC, titled "the Sound of Vietnam". It goes as such (with commentary in parentheses to go unsung) --

--Dong, a bill, a Vietnamese bill
(Vietnamese currency)

--Ray, a drop of golden sun
(which Julio wished for our entire time in northern Vietnam. We've been blessed with daily sun since January 9 when we reached Hue though. For the record, I had plenty of sun until Julio arrived in Hanoi.)

--Minh, a guide who sees squid in rocks
(Minh was our junk boat guide in Halong Bay who was always saying to us, "do you see...(insert one) a dragon, a lovely lady carrying a child, an old, wise man in... in those rocks?" In response, we'd twist our heads and necks every which way to try to see what he was pointing at in the caves. He also would be the one to serve us our food from the waiter and he often mistakenly called something "squid" (from fried potatoes to pork)

--Pho, a bowl on every street
(pho is the morning breakfast for most Vietnamese. We had many but preferred French baguettes with Vietnamese coffee. The most memorable pho event, dare I share this, was eating pho AND chicken on the street. Generally, we avoided chicken. It's actually prohibited in restaurants in Vietnam because of avian flu. The only other place we ate chicken was in my cousin's eco-friendly restaurant where the chicken are raised in the backyard.)

--Son, a city full of stones
(My Son was a Cham village from the 10th-12th century that really was just a rubble of rocks. We recommend you skip it if you're ever in Hoi An and go to Angkor Wat. However, it was intereting to explore the Cham ethnic group and their history. They've been essentially wiped out in Vietnam and any survivors are strongly discriminated against.)

--Lac, a man who is deaf and mute
(Mr. Lac was a deaf and mute restaurant owner in Hue who's daughter made the best coffee we had in Vietnam, and we had some pretty good coffee. He was a great conversationalist, nonetheless, and arranged bikes for us and told us where to spend our time in Hue. The bike trip made for a memorable moment. More later.)

--CoffEE, a drink with "milk" and bread
(obviously, our much loved Vietnamese coffee had to make it into our song since we drank it 2-3 times a day. Oklay, it doesn't totally fit the rhythm of the song but hey...)

--That will bring us back to Ha, Hue, Hoi, Ho, Home.
(We noticed all the towns we chose to visit started with H's: Hanoi, Halong Bay, Hue, Hoi An, Ho Chi Minh City. And, for me, I get to go home.)

Okay, for Julio's blog readers, this may not compare with the fantastic and creative Drew's and Julio's song "It's all about aloo" (sung to the tune of "It had to be you" or Julio and Tricia's numerous versions of "Little Town, Quiet Village" from Beauty and the Beast. But, we had fun composing it although it took days to figure out what to do with coffee and "tea."

More later. We're doing well. Julio's totally enjoying spending time with my (blood and extended) family in Cambodia but eager to rest after our trip on a Thai beach. Lucky him. I'm back to DC on Friday, to work on Monday.

Vicky

Vietnam - Part I (Guest Writer VICKY RATEAU)

2006-01-21T22:48:00.000-11:00

Dear friends,

I've had severe writers' block for the past few weeks. Since I started my much needed vacation, I've written 1 journal entry, 5 or so relatively short emails, and 4 laundry lists. Just one week left in this glorious holiday and I'm beginning to come back to earth. I feel bad for not having finished a blog entry for my traveling partner Julio's blog before we left Vietnam but it wasn't for lack of trying. I kept getting diverted by french pastries, Vietnamese ca phe (coffee), and the yummy food. But here I go... blog entry for the unitiated. (Note, I'm doing double duty since I've been silent for so long. I'm sending this email to friends and family, too, to reassure them I'm still alive and having a blast.)

First to reassure all of Julio's loved ones with what is probably first on their mind -- Julio is doing alright. I would have been really worried having gotten his "Hitting a wall" email after four months of travel, as you probably were, but I got to witness and take part in his/our processing and working through emotions, needs, and thoughts so I can reassure all who share the love for Jules that he's okay. I have to say I totally admire him for traveling for four months before hitting a wall. Getting up and starting something new in a new location every day is tiring. I hit a wall after three weeks of traveling and barely wanted to leave our air conditioned hotel room bed in Ho Chi Minh City. Seriously, for three nights and two days, I happily buried in our sheets -- with Julio for most of the time -- and watched sappy movies and the Golden Globes while the city and its inhabitents bustled outside and 5 million monuments and places awaited us. (We did emerge for coffee, french baguettes, pho, and meals at the same Kim's Cafe -- a hole in the wall that served delicious food one block away from our hotel.)

Ho Chi Minh City also marked the first time Julio and I were actually separated for more than a bathroom or shower break (Julio chose to walk home from a coffee shop across town while I hopped on a moto.) I think this is testimony to how much I've enjoyed every minute with him discovering Vietnam and experiencing my family and Cambodia in a new frame. For three weeks of new experiences, it's been really reassuring and fun to have Julio along for the ride. Each day involves new information, traveling to a new location using an unfamiliar medium or route, settling in a new "home", finding a new place to eat that is good, and in Cambodia, processing some new piece of information about my family. And, of course, this kind of travel involves processing "new" information about one's self.

I'm writing this email for both Julio's blog and for my own friends and family so, in this email, I also wanted give you my impressions, particularly of our adventures and travel through Vietnam, especially since we haven't written much about it. It was the first time I've been to this country and it's the first place I've gone where I don't speak the language. Julio and I met Hanoi -- a city I've fallen in love with. It's a totally magical city where old men continue the glamour of wearing 1930's hats and three piece suits, where the smell of coffee, freshly baked french breads, and hosed down streets fill the morning air, beautiful pagodas and temples greet you at every turn, delicious eats can be found every 100 feet, literally, and French, Chinese and regional architecture blend together even seeming beautiful when decaying. Cambodia for the first week (before Julio arrived) then Hanoi the second were a total trea t for all the senses. I admit that you have to work your way through the noise of millions of motos flying through the streets but once you do, this is a gorgeous and charming city. We did a lot of sight seeing in Hanoi, mostly to old communist haunts or commemorations of Ho Chi Minh or the "liberation" of Vietnam, ate green tangerine sorbet, spare ribs where the meat was so tender as to fall of the bone, the regional specialty cha ca, initiated Julio to his first bowl of morning pho (Vietnamese noodle soup), ate lots of Vietnamese subs, french baguettes, and tried one of each locally brewed bia (beer).

Did I mention this was as much a culinary tour as it was to learn about the politics and people of this communist country?

From Hanoi we traveled north to the Vietnam-China border and boarded a rebuilt fisherman's 'junk' boat for a three day cruise amidst misty, limestone islands. It was totally breathtaking and would have fulfilled my dream of visiting this area completely -- a dream I've had since watching Indochine in 1993 -- were it not for the cold that made Julio lovingly name this the "Artic cruise and both of us wear every layer of clothing we had. (But that didn't stop him from jumping into the salty water for a swim one day.)

Er, I'm going to have to continue the stories of us traveling south, then to Cambodia, at a later time. Dinner calls.

Vicky

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Cambodia: Phnom Penh

2006-01-21T01:51:00.000-11:00

Again, I have skipped Vietnam and I hope to come back to it.

Vicky and I bused it from Ho Chi Minh City, vietnam to Phnom Penh, Cambodia. It was a new experience to cross a border in a bus. We had to stop and get checked out of Vietnam and then get checked into Cambodia. All in all pretty painless since we had chosen the expensive bus ($12 versus $5) and they took care of most things for us. It did give me a chance to get a couple of snaps of the border and its patrol (if you can call it that) for Jason.

We arrived in Phnom Penh and Vicky's aunt and dad picked us up on the corner of a busy street. Our 25 minutes of wait included Vicky using a public phone, which was exciting. A public phone in Cambodia is really a private phone. A person has a wireless phone and s/he sits on the corner of the street with it and a sign with the rates. You tell them where you want to call, they dial it for you, the call is completed and you pay them for the numbers of minutes used. It is pretty effective.

other than that we were asked by about 100 tuk-tuk (Cambodia's rickshaws are a motorcycle with a wagon in the back) drivers if we wanted a ride. Vicky speaks Khmer and it was really nice to not have to deal with them on my end. Vicky's aunt arrived with style. She made a U-turn in the middle of an extremely busy street with no compunction whatsoever. She just turned and traffic on all sides stopped dead on their tracks. Vicky had warned me about this. Which brings me to Vicky's warnings...

Since Vicky and I decided to do this travel she has warned me about different aspects of her wonderful family. The first thing I received was a two-page biography on the family members, some of their history and some of the friendly family dynamics. Since then, I have heard well over 3,000,000 warning and details. Some include:

-my father is not really my father.
-my uncle is not really my uncle.
-my aunt is not really my aunt.
-my little cousin is actually my uncle has two mommies and a daddie who all live in the same house.
-no, i did not know that man that lives in my uncle's house was the grandfather of my non-aunt.
-say NO to the gardens! (Then of course, after a lot of Khmer was spoken I asked Vicky where we were going and she said, "the gardens.") She is still working on saying NO to the elders in her family. It is really sweet.
-my dad has gone through monkhood, but is was the express service. Instead of 3 days they did it for him in one.

And the best...
-you may not know this, but my name is not just Vicky. I have three different names. And, I was actually born in France even though I am Cambodian and American.

As it stands I love her family. They are a riot and yes, they have a ton of different inter-relationships. But, beyond titles and birth rights they all have immense hearts and have treated me wonderfully with lots of hot showers, a great bed, cable TV, rides everywhere and LOTS, and LOTS, and LOTS of food ranging from US imported oscar meyer sausage to some amazing Cambodian cuisine.

The most touching aspect of Vicky's family for me is how everyone in the house has come together. Her Uncle, Dr. Ghanty, is a lot like my grandfather was. In the last 11 years he has taken in nearly 30 people whose lives range from kids who lost their parents, to mothers who lost their children, to kids who need an education but whose parents cannot offer it, to girls who were going to be trafficked into prostitution. Different cases require different things and these range from paying for schooling and colleges, covering health care costs, buying a home, and infinetly making sure the house is open to all from over the years for a meal everyday at lunch and dinner. He stands firmly in the heart of her family who was severely affected by the autrocities of the Khmer Rouge who dessimated much of the country's population when it was trying to turn Cambodia into a communist country from 1975-1979. He is a man who understands pain and suffering and who sees that opportunity can change the world and is committed to giving so many people just that. He succeeded as a high ranking economics professor in the States and after the Khmer Rouge and the violence of the subsequent Vietnamese subsided he returned and has since helped out his brethren. Now he takes care of the needs of many and teaches economics to working people at a Cambodian university. He is truly an ispiration.

Phnom Penh itself was nice. We spent a lot of time with family. We also had a chance to see the Royal Palace, the Mekong River, the Genocide Museum, and a couple of the markets and go out for a drinks one of the nights. It was a good time. Ok, the Genocide Museum was not so great, but the rest was. Apparently the communists consider the Khmer Rouge situation a black eye for the movement. Whatever the situation this was the ugliest kind of human behavior. For more, see Yale's research on the Genocide in Cambodia - http://www.yale.edu/cgp/

You should also know that a new king has been crowned. He was not the next in line of sons, but the government wanted to find a neutral person to have the role and chose him. Cool note? He is a ballet dancer and I have learned that in this case he is in fact - FAMILY!!!! Speculations? Not! I have seen pictures. it's true!!!

We are currently in Angkor Wat one of the 7 wonders of the world and will be here for the next 4 days.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Lost

2006-01-16T21:18:00.000-11:00

I wanted to share with everyone the beautiful poem that Jess sent to me. It is super appropriate right now. Thank You!!!

"Lost," by David Wagoner from Collected Poems 1956-1976 © Indiana University Press.

Lost

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Hitting a Wall (Not literally, but that's possible too)

2006-01-16T16:09:00.000-11:00

It is my last day in Vietnam and I have given you, the people of the world, nothing. I am so sorry I have not written more about this beautiful communist country, its amazing food, and how I actually have learned to love a piece of colonialism. I am an honest person and I cannot lie. Without the French my morning baguettes with outstanding Vietnamese coffee would not be the same, and how I love the baguettes. Don't judge me for this, if you can.

I wanted to write about Vietnam, but instead the fact that I have hit a wall in this "wwwoooorrrrrddllly experience" seems more relevant, more real, more at the core of how I am experiencing everything.

I am tired. I miss my mom and dad and my little brothers and my aunt. I miss Drewzie. I miss Tricia and Tonja, Anston, Jess, Nicole and Clarissa, and so so so so so so many people I love so much. I miss Ana in Brazil with Carolina and Dario. And, I cannot explain to you in words how much I want to be in Washington DC with Mindy and Melissa and little Levi. I keep asking myself what the hell I am doing so far away when all the people I love are home. I have cried several times wanting, needing to be with the people I love.

There are, of course, lots of reason for this. Some include:

--India was exhausting and I have needed a place to truly rest easy. No, I don't mean a beach in some Paradise Island. I have access to all of those. No, I don't mean a 5 star hotel with sauna and a massage. I did that. No, I don't mean exotic meals with the best spices ever and amazing coffees from distand regions in the world. I have all of those things, and everything else within 5 hours and $100 of where I am. I mean the comfort of home. I mean waking up at my mom's house, Drew's apartment, Mindy's house, Tricia's, Nicole's etc (G-d, I have a lot of places where I feel comfortable, how lucky am I!!!) and just strolling to the kitchen and having coffee. I mean sitting in the garden knowing my brothers are at school. I mean cleaning Levi's slober from my shoulder after burping him, eating at Teaism with Mindy and Melissa. I mean the most mundane things that let me rest easily and calmly. These are the places that I want to rest in. If I could only go there for 2 weeks and than come back.

--I need to find a purpose. This travel around the world and blah, blah, blah is great and all, but I need a purpose in life. I NEED to know that what I am doing has a greater purpose than me. I need to know that I am building something. I need it to be concrete. I have met with NGOs doing anti-trafficking work. I will meet with more. Maybe the solutions for now is to do just that, meet with them like hell. But, I think I need to know my meetings have a greater purpose than learning and becoming a better, smarter person who does social justice work. I want to win a campaign, raise a million dollars, build an organization.

--I am my mother's son. I NEED TO DO SOME WORK. Oh my g-d! This vacationing thing is madenning. Beyond purpose, I just need to be useful, practical, and clean something. I have been fighting the urge to start cleaning the hotel room. I want wipe the tables where I eat, go in the back and do the dishes. I need to organize something. It's crazy, but I want to do that so badly.

--I can no longer look at monuments. If I see another statue of anybody I will go crazy. Of course, I am to go to Angkor Wat in 4 days. It's a wonder of the world, and this is how I am feeling. I need to find an activity that takes me away from monuments.

--The Love Boat is has lost it's exciting and new qualities. Talking about travel is all about new experiences, new civilizations, boldly going everywhere. Did you know that even new experiences get boring and routine if you have one every 10 minutes? It's like a line from Into the Woods - But if I life where made of moments, you'd never know you had one. (G-d, how many pop culture references can I person put in 3 sentences?)

Is this just about the grass been greaner on the other side? Not so much. It's that I have been on this side of the garden for a long time.

Today this all means a few things:

--This is normal. This wall was expected and I am committed to witnessing and feeling my way through it, as I have with everything else.

--This is information. With every feeling I learn more and more who I am and what is important to me. My mother has for so long been the pillar of family values and connections in our family, a model really. Today, it is clearer than it has ever been to me that family is everything. I was brought up knowing this. I come from strong family oriented culture. But, when it has now clicked for me in a different way - beyond culture, teachings or the usual "home is where the heart is." These pieces of information are critical when you set off in this kind of experience. They emerge along with knowing that I don't like to move around when I travel. I NEED a sense of purpose in life. I like to see the world with others (Drew, Tricia, Vicky) and the world comes alive to me differently. I like being alone. I love my quiet time. I love the lights of the big city and the peace of the morning in little towns. I love the beach and I could live there. I enjoy the woods and I like to visit them. Some of these things are new, some of them are just a validation of what I already knew.

So much of this travel has been about getting in touch with myself again after several years of loosing my own intuition, and therefore this is all very valuable.

--I feel no pressure either way. These feelings and my subsequet decisions are not about anyone but me. If I go back to the US today it's my decision. If I decide to do this for 10 years, it is also my decision. (Yes, if I decide on the latter I realize this decision will have consequences beyond my imagination from many key individuals in my life - hehe.) I am going to watch myself for the next couple of days and see what happens. I will probably go directly to the beaches of Thailand after Angkor Wat and then come back around for meetings with NGOs in the big cities since beach will help me reconnect with myself. We will see. I figure if I am unhappy at the beach, a sure place where I can sit at ease with myself, than something is definitely not right.

For now I am here. Vicky is an outstanding travel partner. She has been really supportive of my process. She has also taken care of a lot of the logistical madness of travel and that has made this time better. G-d, how lucky I am, how so lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my life.

That's it for now folks. At some point I will write about Vietnam, maybe even later today. For now know this...Vietnam is a must in your travel list. Drew and I have already added it to ours. Eddie, you must come here next. You will melt with all the political history of this place.

Love to all, as always,

Julio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Hanoi

2006-01-13T16:12:00.000-11:00

Hanoi is the capital of Vietnam. To me it was a reasonably quiet city with very interesting street life and lots and lots of bikes and mopeds. Vicky and I spent our days there seeing many sites and committed to what is our SUPER GASTRO-INTESTINAL TOUR of SOUTHEAST ASIA. We balanced seeing all the sites dedicated to Ho Chi Minh, the man responsible for making sure Vietnam became communist, and in 48 hours eating at about 10 restaurants and having 3 meals
on the street.

The city is filled with communist red flags and posters and signs about everyone working hard and making Vietnman a better place. In the morning city wide announcements are made over a loud speaker. Also, the city is rich with the history of Vietnam's heroes and all they did against the Chinese, the French, the Americans and basically everyone one else who tried to colonize, control and make money off of Vietnam in some way. This "outsider" history is very evident and seen everywhere from the fact that older Vietnamese speak French, to Chinese customs to reminants of the US vietnman war such as an American B-52 crashed plane in the middle of a housing community.

Hanoi equaled Ho Chi Minh (the person, not the city). His museum, his monuments, and his embalmed body are all part of the landscape of Hanoi. He is revered and referred to as Uncle Ho by the Vietnamese.

A familiar site in Vietnam are sidewalk restaurants. Mini plastic seats and tables are set on sidewalks in front of restaurant fronts and that is where the Vietnamese enjoy foods and teas. Of course, we participated in this custom and made sure to have pho, a traditional Vietnamese soup with noodles and meat made for breakfast and basically any other occasion.

In the streets we had yummies such as the soupt, baguettes with pate, butter, meats, and veggies. In restaurants we had lots of fish in amazing sauces, green tangerine deserts, lots of Vietnamese coffee, chaca fish (yummy fish in butter), lots of rice, and yummy spare ribs and sea bass. All were absolutely divine.

We left Hanoi, 1 kilo heavier and went off to Halong Bay for our Arctic Cruise of the bay. Up next!

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Arrival

2006-01-12T01:27:00.000-11:00

I reached Vietnam on the 6th of January. I left India on the 5th of January at night and had a very, very sad good-bye with Drewzie. My departure included a 1.5 hour wait after I said goodbye to Drew. I was stuck and could not go out to see him. It also included me looking like a fool crying my little eyes once I set on the plane. Leaving Drewzie and India all at the same time was tough. The power of India stays with you and saying goodbye to your boyfriend after not seeing him for 3 months, spending 24 hours a day with him for 4 weeks and knowing you will not see him for a month is VERY HARD!!!And, it was also what I set out to do and so off I went...

The first leg was 3 hours from Delhi to Bangkok and then 2 hours to Hanoi. I walked around the Bangkok airport, hung out with the airforce folks going to Iraq at my gate, and worked on some SUDOKU. Not very exciting, but I had to pass the time.

Vicky was waiting for me when I arrived. She had been there the morning before for 6 hours, thinking I was coming on the 5th. It was very sad, a misunderstanding on dates. It was so nice to arrive to someone ina new country. It was so nice to see Vicky, someone so so so dear to my heart and someone I seldom get to spend time with. We got on a taxi and we were off to Hanoi.

Hanoi next...

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

VIETNAM: Overview by Lonely Planet

2006-01-12T01:17:00.000-11:00

I thought I would start you with with a bit from www.lonelyplanet.com From here on I will give you my own perspective of the country.

Most visitors to Vietnam are overwhelmed by the sublime beauty of the country's natural setting: the Red River Delta in the north, the Mekong Delta in the south and almost the entire coastal strip are a patchwork of brilliant green rice paddies tended by women in conical hats.

There are some divine beaches along the coast, while inland there are soaring mountains, some of which are cloaked by dense, misty forests. Vietnam also offers an opportunity to see a country of traditional charm and rare beauty rapidly opening up to the outside world.

Four great philosophies and religions have shaped the spiritual life of the Vietnamese people: Confucianism, Taoism, Buddhism and Christianity. Over the centuries, Confucianism, Taoism and Buddhism have melded with popular Chinese beliefs and ancient Vietnamese animism to form what is known as Tam Giao (or 'Triple Religion').

Vietnamese (kinh) is the official language of the country, although there are dialectic differences across Vietnam. There are dozens of different languages spoken by various ethnic minorities and Khmer and Loatian are spoken in some parts. The most widely spoken foreign languages in Vietnam are Chinese (Cantonese and Mandarin), English, French and Russian, more or less in that order.

Popular artistic forms include: traditional painting produced on frame-mounted silk; an eclectic array of theatre, puppetry, music and dance; religious sculpture; lacquerware and ceramics.

Vietnamese cuisine is especially varied - there are said to be nearly 500 different traditional dishes that include exotic meats (but consider carefully before you eat a rare animal) and fantastic vegetarian creations (often prepared to replicate meat and fish dishes). However, the staple of Vietnamese cuisine is plain white rice dressed up with a plethora of vegetables, fish (which is common in Vietnam), meat, spices and sauces. Spring rolls, noodles and steamed rice dumplings are popular snacks, and the ubiquitous soups include eel and vermicelli, shredded chicken and bitter soups. Fruit is abundant; some of the more unusual ones include green dragon fruit, jujube, khaki, longan, mangosteen, pomelo, three-seed cherry and water apple. Vietnamese coffee (ca phe phin) is very good; it's usually served very strong and very sweet.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

India: Final Words Part II

2006-01-12T01:07:00.000-11:00

Just to close the India chapter one more time. I want to make sure that folks know that one of the most amazing things about being there for 100 days was to realize that India is a country intense with people who are trying to do all that each of us does everyday - to live their lives the best way they can. It is a country full of difference, full of complexity and full of contradictions. And, in all of this it is beautiful.

Also, Mindy sent me this song a year before I got on the plane and I listened to it last week. It applies today, more than ever...the last sentence tells me that Alanis definitely did go to India to be inspired.

THANK YOU INDIA: By Alanis Morissette

How about getting off of these antibiotics
How about stopping eating when I'm filled up
How about them transparent dangling carrots
How about that ever elusive kudo

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

How about me not blaming you for everything
How about me enjoying the moment for once
How about how good it feels to finally forgive you
How about grieving it all one at a time

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

The moment I let go of it was
The moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it was
The moment I touched down

How about no longer being masochistic
How about remembering your divinity
How about unabashedly bawling your eyes out
How about not equating death with stopping

Thank you India
Thank you providence
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you nothingness
Thank you clarity
Thank you thank you silence

Love to all. Next up - VIETNAM. REALLY!

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

FINAL ENTRY for India: Thank You India

2006-01-07T02:18:00.000-11:00

I spent 100 days in India. In one word the experience was "intense." India is everything the travel books say that it is. Except, when you are there, in the middle of it all your head just spins and your world is rocked and you think - WHY THE HELL DID I EVER BUY THAT TRAVEL BOOK? To be in India I think one has to be centered - be aware of one's likings and dislinkings, be ready to spring into action when challenges arise, and be self-aware enough to just give in because India is bigger, harder and less afraid than the single traveler. I was none of those things when I arrived. Ok, maybe I was able to face challenges creatively, but the challenges that a place like India brough were pretty unimaginable.

I am so glad I did it. India was this mythical place for me for many years and I have never really known why it pulled me so much. Was it the poverty, corruption and people that reminded me of Brazil? Was it the colors, the odors or the sounds that I wanted to be part of from watching movies and talking to friends? Today, I feel India is demystified for me. It is more than I ever imagined it could be. It is worst than I ever thought it could be. It is everything at about 100 miles per hour, flying by relentlessly, and it still pulls me in, in so many ways.

Before going I had never really figured out why I wanted to be there so badly. I often thought why am I really committing 3 of my 7.5 months of phase 1 of my world travel to this one country? I did not know the answer, but I knew it was what I needed to do.

I now know why I had to go there when I did, at this point in my life, at this time. It is because India is about the only place on earth that could rival the fire that I feel inside and push and pull me to get in touch with all that goes on inside of me. India is raw. India does not give you and opportunity to opt out. It asks, tells, screams, yells and demands of you - tirelessly. India kicks your ass. I am not talking about the Buddha, the yoga, the meditation or the other thousands of ways people go to find themselves in India. I am talking about getting my ass kicked - dirt, passion, kindness, bad translation, scams, black chilli peppers, stomach aches with the runs, awakening cuisines and a religiosity beyond words and the most amazing sunsets on earth. For me India existed to remind me that being alive is the best thing in life. It kick started the process that lay dorment for so long, the process of getting back in touch with my inner core. For that I thank her from the bottom of my heart.

Some things that I hope to always remember about India, in no order.

-The fish in the South and in West Bengal with amazing curry.
-The barfis, milk cakes and other outstanding sweets.
-The kindness of Sarita's family members - from Uncle Arun and Aunt Sipra to her amazing parents.
-My intense need to GET OUT of there about 10 days before departure.
-The heart of the families I met on the train, the buses and the streets of India's little towns and quiet villages.
-The hatred I built (from my core) for dishonest public transportation drivers.
-The time with Drewzie - sudoku, room service and aloooooo.
-The endless search for coffee with Tricia all over the Indian south.
-The sun of Goa against my skin and the water of ocean at 4am.
-The smog of the cities and the brown liquid from my hands every time I washed them.
-Chai, chai and more chai.
-The amazing folks in my trip to the Himalayas.
-Romina and Maria's amazing passion and the time they and Tricia and I had laughing in Goa.
-Feisty Polish girls.
-Mysore Pak and Samolina.
-Hot 6 minute showers.
-OSHO's "active" meditation.
-The dynamic four - Atimati, Sammy, Kushal and me.
-The train rides from sleeper to first class.

And so much more that are captured in the 2,400 photos I have from my 100 days, the 15 or so recordings I have of street noises and messages from those who came and went, and the blogs that you have read.

Again, thank you India and all of those who have shared in 100 unforgettable days of my life.

Julio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Goodbye, India

2006-01-05T01:22:00.000-11:00

Well, Gentle Readers, this is likely my last e-post from India for some time. We've laughed, we've cried. okay, you haven't really done any of that. Mostly, you sort of just read about me doing all that. And, I have to say, I didn't really cry that much. Well, that one day when I accidentally ate a hot chili pepper in my aloo-bindhi thing. ("Aloo-bindhi" is Hindi for "don't eat the hot chili pepper, you tourist schmuck." No, it is. I looked it up.) But it HAS been quite an experience, and I'm sad to see it end.

All right, that's not completely true. I'm sad, of course, to say goodbye to my little Brazilian Dynamo. And I'm sad to bring to a close my interactions with Sarita and Eddie and their family. And I'm sad to leave behind the sense of adventure and exploration that this experience has afforded me. But traveling in India is hard work, yo. It's not for the faint of heart. I'm not faint of heart. But I'd like to be. I miss being faint of heart. So I'm glad to have had the experience and, at the same time, I'm glad to return home. It's an odd feeling. There's no real word for that feeling in English, but in Hindi, it roughly translates to "don't eat the hot chili pepper, you tourist schmuck."

These moments are always an opportunity to get all ponderous and serious and say really clichéd things, like, for example, "Ohmygod, there are, like, SOOOOOOO many people in the world who, like, TOTALLY live in utter poverty and destitution! That totally sucks for them!" or "Seriously, y'all, we're all just one piece of the global puzzle, there's so much else out there that we TOTALLY can't even, like, comprehend or know about," or "Colonialization, like, inevitably leads to an exploited and utterly desolated population, laying waste to resources, culture and sovereignty, and it's not just stuff in old Merchant-Ivory movies, so we should, like, fully be aware of it when it's happening right freaking now right under our noses by our own administration," or "Holy crap! This McCurry Pan thing is delicious, I think I will eat three of them and spend my evening feeling really bloated and wondering if I'll end up barfing, which would be a total waste of good McCurry Pan." But I don't believe in clichés, so I will avoid saying stuff we all already know. Instead, I'll reflect on this trip and think of seeing my boyfriend dancing on screen in a Bollywood movie, spending hours imitating angry women who may or may not have been entitled to the service they demanded in an exclusive club, feeling the chilly wind in my hair while I ride in rickshaws through the streets of a city I'd only read about before, sitting in a warm living room listening to men tell adventure stories about stowing away on British merchant ships but knowing that these stories were absolutely true and watching Julio's face illuminated by the glittering combination of neon and Delhi moonlight when he has no idea I'm watching him.

I'm happy to go home. I miss you all. I'll talk to you soon.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2006-01-01T20:34:00.000-11:00

Wanted to wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR! May all of your wished come true, and may you get some time off so that you could come visit me wherever you can.

We (Drew and I) celebrated the new year with Sarita, Eddie and their family. We had a wonderful meal and outstanding company. After we got back to the Taj, ordered up a couple of martinis and toasted our night away.

Kisses.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Ice-Creaming

2005-12-28T03:31:00.000-11:00

Drewzie has done a fine job letting you know what has been going on, and I will add some of our recent experiences to it...

ICE-CREAMING (be afraid, very afraid)
Sarita, Drew and I went to see the Sun Temple today. It is yet another beautiful Indian temple with thousands of years of history and mythology attached to it. In case you are wondering, Eddie stayed behind. He had a GI situation. For those who saw the pictures of Khajuraho, the tantric temple, The Sun Temple had some of the same themes. What made today's visit exciting was our guide. He was about 50 and very well informed of the history of the temple.

Our tour took about an hour and consisted of detailed explanations of each of the 1,000+ statues in the walls of this temple. Astrology, history, Hinduism, and even the impact of Colonialism was discussed. Yet, perhaps most odd was the intensity with which the guide described the tantric nature of the statues. Imagine the three of us and the guide walking among hundreds of families, school groups and religious folks. Every time he needed to explain something in detail he asked us to lean in and whispered:

"Note the penis being inserted in the vagina."

Then a child would run by and we would have to lean closer.

"Look at that statue. The man is inserting his large penis in the woman's leg."

He would describe many important statues among the tantric ones. Here is the architect statue, the woman holding child, and " this woman is holding the man's penis while this other woman is holding his scrotum because he has a hernia."

This was all very surreal. Important, historical, fascinating, and surreal. At one point Drewzie said to me, "Did he say 'hot cum' was going into the the woman statue?" I nodded, "yup." Then, the one that made me nearly lose it. He pointed firmly toward a statue of a woman giving oral sex to a man and said, "Now, look carefully at this statue. Do you see that the woman is ice creaming the men's penis?"

It was a great tour and we later learned from Sarita that the lineage of this man was one in which he himself really believes in the tantric aspects of the religion. This is a concept tough for judeo-christian societies to fully grasp, but a definite part of what makes up the many religions that exist in India.

"OH, IS THAT THE HOLLYWOOD WRITER?"
Drewzie also got to experience the fame of foreigners in small towns today. While at the temple, three different sets of people asked us if we could take pictures with them. You may remember these experiences from when Tricia wrote for the blog. There was a lot of hand-shaking, lots of cameras, flash, action, thank yous and fame all around.

UP NEXT...
Tomorrow we go back to Kolkata. We will do some shopping and some more site seeing. We will also stay there for New Year's with Sarita and Eddie's family.

Lots of hugs to all. Happy ALL Holidays and have an AMAZING NEW YEAR.

Cheers,

Drewlio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Shantiniketan, He Wrote -- By Drew Z. Greenberg

2005-12-28T03:08:00.000-11:00

All right, Sports Fans, the tour continues, and it just keeps getting more and more exciting. I know what you're thinking: MORE exciting than the Indian equivalent of a Big Mac? Drew, you are likely saying to your collective selves, we do not understand how such a thing is even POSSIBLE. Fret not, I am here to explain it all.

Since our last visit to the world wide web, Jules and I had an opportunity to travel from Delhi to the sleepy town of Shantiniketan, near Kolkata. When I say "sleepy town," do you conjure up images of Angela Lansbury baking pies while solving curious mysteries? Do you think of homey, slow-paced, just-down-home folks? Well, if you do, the joke's on you - this is India, silly, not New Freakin' England. The rickshaws are just as eager to run you over in sleepy towns as they are in big cities. But Shantiniketan is a small university town, famous for its culture placing an emphasis on art and writing. Unfortunately, the museums evidencing such culture close on Wednesdays. Can anyone guess what day we were in Shantiniketan? Oh, that was too easy. Hey, kids, when traveling, always check to make sure there are no local holidays or regular closings in the particular sleepy town you plan to visit. And do it BEFORE you go.

Now, the visit was not a waste of time. Far from it. In fact, Jules and I took advantage of the peace and quiet (some might say "spooky, Jason-in-a-hockey-mask-like") nature of our accommodations. We ate, we worked a lot of Sudoku puzzles (thanks Drew T. and Jerry!!), we walked the main road to the train station marveling at the local sweet shops and abundance of cell phone ads. We tried our best to figure out why our tiny little guest-house had a ginormous restaurant with a kitchen staff-to-guest ratio of about twenty-seven to one. I got to see local Indian life in a way I hadn't in the cities, and that was nice. And then we left for Kolkata.

Kolkata was a fun experience that Jules detailed somewhat in his recent entries, so I'll let his word stand. And remember, he's always an accurate reporter, but no more so than when he talks about how great I am. (Spending this time with him, I will say here, and I mean all of this time, this whole trip, has been downright fun. And he knows I think that. He's not just making me say that because it's his blog.)

And now, Jules and I are currently in a small Orissa town (south of Kolkata) with Eddie and Sarita. We didn't intend to come here; the four of us left Kolkata yesterday with every intention of spending a few restful days in the beachside town of Puri. A lovely vacation in what we were told was a lovely resort seemed the best way to relax in the middle of our respective trips. Ha, ha! It turns out that someone's definition of "resort" is different than mine (and Julio's and Sarita's and Eddie's). For example, we did not know that "resort" COULD mean "weird place where the rooms look like closets, smell like urine and have blood-stained sheets." "Oh," that dictionary might hasten to add, "also little hairs and cruddy-things on all the pillowcases." Now, look: Jules has been to some low-cost places, and I've gone with him to some of them. We're not THAT high-maintenance. I just like MY blood-stained sheets dry before I climb on top of them. Luckily, Eddie and Sarita felt the same way. We left a large Julio-and-Eddie-and-Sarita-and-Drew shaped hole in the wall and quickly went into overtime to come up with other plans. I'm pleased to say we did a rather good job. We found a lovely resort far from the beach but also with little evidence of homicidal activity, which is SO important. Pools, a lake, five restaurants, a shower, friendly staff... it turned out to be a lot of fun. More later. love to you all, especially the ones who are still reading.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

New India

2005-12-22T22:28:00.000-11:00

Kolkata, 12/23.

And, I return...

The trip since Tricia's departure and Drew's arrival has been full of exciting events and new experiences in this big and vast country. I still love India, but I will say that I am ready for Vietnam, Vicky, Cambodia and "other Asia." I know they will also be tumultous, but I think I need a different kind of noise, smell and tastes. I need change. Funny to say that, but we humans are odd in this way, aren't we?

At this point I can only do this in excerpts since I cannot even begin to remember the details all that has happened to me in the last 2-3 weeks.

OSHO:
As some of you may recall I went to OSHO again for 5 days between Tricia and Drew. It was to be a time for me to breathe on my own, meditate, dance, go crazy, and have some chocolate croissants. I did all of these things, and more. For one, I met Arya, an amazingly intelligent, fun and beautiful woman and we hung out for a lot of the time. At the same time I had a lot of time by myself. I almost purposely did not want to meet any more people. I wanted to be in my own space.

The OSHO experience had many peaks and valleys. Well, for me (since I think valleys are always an opportunity to learn about myself) there were a lot of peaks which consisted of a great deal of sobbing, a lot of laughing and a lot of just letting emotions circulate. I knew going into that experience that it was the time in my travel to let go of a lot of past caca that had been following me around for years. Mainly, it was time to get rid of the tons of caca I gathered from a certain job I had, and A LOT OF CACA I gathered from a certain relationship I had. I knew that this needed to happen in this trip and I think the OSHO time was a great launching pad for it. I felt ligther after it, as I do now, more able to move in my own body, heart, and soul about the world so readily available for me to discover and in which I should always participate fully. I felt more myself than I had felt in a long time. Mindy, I felt then and do today, more like the Julio you have been searching for in the last few years.

Is the work over, am I cured of these evils? No, of course not. The kind of life experiences I had such as walking in on my boyfriend "doing it" with someone else, being told I did not "have the degree" to participate in a conversation at work are not the ones that disappear in one breakthrough. But, these moments of clarity awaken us to what is important and valuable in life. And, focusing on these events is neither of these things. So, as I so often say, candidly, JULIO, MOVEON.ORG! (Credit goes to all of you - Mindy, Nicole, Tricia, Sarita, Ana, Drew, My mother, Father, and so many of you who love me - and who told me all throughout these ideals - MOVEON.ORG) Thanks for being there and letting me run my own course. Also, thanks for not being there sometimes too. I especially remember Mindy saying, "I love you, and, therefore, I will not longer have this conversation with you." Thank you. Thank you for not feeding the monster.

DREW
Oh, it is so wonderful to have Drewzie here. We have been having such a great time. I feel he has really gotten tastes of the many experiences I have had here - the pollution, the amazing kindness of India, the madness of the streets, the peace of the small towns, the yumminess of the spices in the foods, the constant scare of the water. This was very important to me since as "the boyfriend" I really wanted him to know first hand what I have been experiencing. I think he has really enjoyed it. Oh, he has also been a total badass and outdone me on the health side. Yes, Reny (mom), Drew is taking on India like a champ while I have had a cold for the entire time he has been here. Note that now that we are in Calcutta and the sun is out and I have a t-shirt on the cold is going away quickly. I am my mother's son, a tropical flower.

INDIA as a COUPLE
Being in India as a couple has also meant I have gotten to see a different India, which has been wonderful. When you are in a 1.5 year trip every day with your beau is critical time so we have decided to stay a nicer places instead of spending much of "our" trip dealing with the madness of India. Don't take me wrong, we have had our share of cultural dirt, bugs and etc, but we have been staying a nicer hotels with HOT WATER, yes, HOT WATER, lots of it, lots and lots, and clean sheets and room service, and buffets, and cable TV, and white towels, yes, one that are actually white, not just by name, and we have a bathtub, and toiletries, and newspaper in the morning. WOW, I had no idea this India existed. Well, I knew it existed, but wow, wow. I truly feel I have ran the gamut of places to stay - from very little and very dirty, minus three star places to the Taj Hotel's 5-star with a view of the Taj Mahal. Also, from sleeper train with the "people" of India to a 1st AC train ride with constant meal service and electricity.

Ooops, internet time has ran out...........promise I will be back soon to continue this with "experiences"!

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

India (By Guest Writer Drewzie Z. Greenberg)

2005-12-17T22:18:00.000-11:00

Hello all! Guest writer Drew here. Now, former-and-current-bloggers Tricia and Julio and Kushal might be a bit intimidated by having me sit down to contribute to this writing effort, but I want to reassure them that I am just like any other blogger on the internet: I put on my Starfleet uniform one leg at a time.

The last week has been fun in so many ways. Julio sells himself short when he says it doesn't sound exciting -- we saw the Taj Mahal, for crying out loud! It's, like, one of the most famous structures in the world, up there with Mt. Rushmore and the Eiffel Tower and that weird striped house that Madonna built that one time. Anyway, it was magnificent, and seeing it with Jules and Sarita and Eddie and Sarita's family was an amazing way to do it -- they were great traveling companions, particularly because I found in Eddie a co-conspirator in my perpetual search for masala-flavored crunchy snacks. But also because they're all really fun. We've laughed a lot and eaten a lot (I won't even begin to get into the details of last night's Great Multiple Servings of Rice Experiment, but, um, rest assured,when we finished dinner? I was full.)

Of course, it's impossible to be here and witness such majestic sites as the Taj Mahal and other palaces, all of which were sumptuous in their grandeur, without noting the irony of what's invariably outside the palace gates. The poverty and neglect and general (and,in some cases, literal) crumbling infrastructure have to give you pause. And they do. No tag-line joke here. That part sucks.

Coming up, we'll be visiting Puri and Calcutta, and I think we're both looking forward to that part of the journey as well. For me, getting to spend time with Julio has been the highlight of this trip, and it reminds me how much I wish he would hurry up and have his life-changing growth experience seeing the world, blah blah blah and come home. I kid. Except not really.

Oh! Also? For all my friends in LA who wanted to know the answer, this one's for you: yes on the McChicken, no on the Big Mac. But they do have Chicken Maharajah Mac. And the most delicious thing called a Chicken Curry Pan. I'll try to bring a crate home if I can get it through customs.

Miss you all.

Love, Drew and Julio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Drew & The Golden Triangle

2005-12-17T21:55:00.000-11:00

Dear all,

It has been so long I don't even know what to write. I will start by saying that it's GGGRRREEEEEAAAAATTTTT to have Drewzie here. As is the case for all who do this type of travel, it seems like he has been here for a month already, but it has not even been a week. He arrived in Delhi at nearly midnight, we left at 8am to our tour of the Golden Triangle - Agra and Jaipur and Fatehrpur Sikri for the next 4 days - and we are now back in Delhi trying to get some business out of the way before leaving for Kolkata and Puri.

I am sorry for those whose individual emails I have not answered. I have not used the internet for about 8 days. Every time we thought we would have access, we didn't. So, today, Sunday, when everything is closed in Delhi, we found a random place that was open.

The only way I can do this is to do snippets:

--My 5 days in Pune at the OSHO Retreat Center was really great. I spent a lot of time by myself, and a lot of time with a wonderful new friend, Arya. The week consisted of a great deal of dancing, shaking uncontrollably, eating lots of croissants, crying a lot, and spending time in the OSHO pool. It was what I needed to rest from Tricia's and my India and get ready for India with Drew.

--Drew arrived early and I had a lot of CODE 31's with the taxi driver. (Code 31: information lost in communication with hands and hindi and english). I arrived at the airport late and Drewzie was looking around for me. I felt awful, but he was, of course, fine, if totally shocked like all of us who arrive in India after nearly 30 hours of travel. We made it home in one piece.

--The Taj Mahal was all it promised to be. Part of it is that is started with us staying at the Taj View Hotel where we had a full view of the Taj Mahal from our room. It was beautiful. And, the room was beautiful with lots and lots of hot water and a bathtub. I wanted to make sure Romina knows I took a really hot shower for her for a really long time and a long hot bath for Maria. It was outstanding.

The Taj Mahal was breath-taking in the way that other Wonders of the World are. For a moment you just stand there awe struck by the beauty of it, its magnitude, its historical power, and how clean it looks in the midst of such a polluted city. It is truly amazing. We took tons of pictures. To come in the future.

--Jaipur was also beautiful. We had another wonderful hotel room that looked over the Maharajah's hunting grounds (this means it was a beautiful building built in the middle of a lake). This place also had lots and lots of hot water and HBO! The Maharajah's Palace was beautiful and our visit to Fatehrpur Sikri, an vast planned city, was outstanding.

--Other than sites Drew and I have had a great time with Sarita and Eddie and Sarita's mom and dad. We have laughed a great deal, met lots of family members, eaten the yummiest home cooked meals, and drank lots and lots of tea.

--Health wise I have been sick for a week now. I got a cold from the 26 hour Pune-Delhi 2-AC train and have not been able to shake it off since we are now in cold India. Drewzie is remaining strong having been able to keep away my cold or any grastro issues of the millions that could arive.

--We are Delhi just kind of waiting for tomorrow morning when I can go to the Vietnamese Embassy to turn in my passport for a visa. After that we should be off to Kolkata where we will be for 2 days beforing going to stay at a resort in Puri, a beach a bit more southeast in the state of Orissa. We will stay there for about 6 days before coming back to Kolkata for New Years, then Delhi so that Sarita, Eddie and Drew can go back to the States and I can leave for Vietnam.

That's the news. Sorry if I did not make it sound exciting. I am still under the weather.

Kisses from both Drew and myself,

Julio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

PHOTOS: FIVE different cities...THANK YOU MINDY!!!

2005-12-09T02:00:00.000-11:00

These photos are of five different cities. The links below are NOT active for some of you. Cut and paste them into your browser and they should work. Enjoy!

RISHIKESH:

http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=1i2bgirz.b9zymj1r&x=0&y=mtihu9

ORCHHA:

http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=1i2bgirz.22dh6q1b&x=0&y=4k4rh0

KHAJURAHO:

http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=1i2bgirz.8uhvk1qf&x=0&y=-6cvhf7

VARANASI:

http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=1i2bgirz.9truxojr&x=0&y=cpimfl

BODHGAYA:

http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=1i2bgirz.7964npgn&x=0&y=-9hft1q

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Meeting with NGOs

2005-11-30T20:32:00.000-11:00

In the midst of all the traveling I have managed to meet with three NGOs about their work. Each meeting was more formal. The first was a nice dinner conversation with a woman working for a large NGO in Delhi, the second was over a beautiful lunch at the house of Manesha, a friend of my friend Arif's mom, and the last a formal meeting Tricia and I went to in Mysore to speak to an organization focused on human trafficking issues. These meetings have given me a sense of what is happening with organizations doing anti-trafficking in India - a sense.

It has become clear that trafficking and perhaps more evidently, slavery, is a big issue in the country. It is commonplace for people to state that the kids begging for money on the street are slaves working for their master. CNN India had a footer running that said - Efforts to End Slavery Continue. Still, the nexus between slavery and international trafficking is less evident, but people are aware of it when it comes to rural-to-urban trafficking.

Overall there are very few organizations in India that focus solely on trafficking issues. One source said only a handful of them exist. There are several groups - women's organizations and children's rights groups - that are more and more actively taking on the issue since it has become so evident that this is a worldwide problem worthy of a great deal of attention at the service, advocacy, policy and other levels. Still, these, like SAVE the CHILDREN India, do anti trafficking as a project in their overall work.

THE THREE ORGANIZATIONS:

To be honest I have forgotten the name of the first organization since the coversation happened over a social dinner, but what was memorable was the fact that the organization is currently dealing with the US' draconian policy on prostitution. As many of you many know, about a year (is that right?) ago the US passed a law that said that passing out contraceptives (condoms, etc) as part of work addressing prostitution, human trafficking and slavery for sex, and other like issues is the same as SUPPORTING AND ENCOURAGING these activities. So, the solution, per the Bush Administration was to defund groups passing out condoms, thus causing a higher spread of AIDS among young teenage girls who are enslaved and otherwise forced to be in the sex industry since condoms are no longer available.

Consequently, today, countries like Brasil, and now India (and I am sure others) are fighting this policy since they know its basically coookkkoooo. Brasil has taken a strong stance against it and has rejected monies it received from the US and is now getting money for such activities from the Brazilian government. This is the current struggle in India. This large NGO is fighting this policy and trying to do so by intersecting Indian/US laws to see if it is legal for the US to have such pre-historic requirements. India, as was explained to me, sees Brasil as a model of how to do prostitution and other sex-related work. Brasil's work is especially noterworthy in its dealings with US power and its effects on Brazilian citizens.

Mahila Sarvangeen Utkrash Mandal (MUSAM)

This organization was formed by Arif's mother's friend Manesha and her husband. It has been around for nearly 15 years and focuses on a variety of women's issues, as well as children's programs. All programs are designed for people in rural areas. For instance, the children's program has a project where children are taught about peace, equality and justice values, and teachers also work in severely depressed areas to ensure children are getting an education. The organization also has a Women's Self-employment Program where young girls are taught useful skills to build their self-confidence. The skills range from self-defense techniques to computer repair. MASUM also designs and carries out tribal empowerment programs and has helped build a vilage library so that folks have access to education and resources.

At the heart of this organization are Manesha and her partner, two souls who simply regenerate any energy you may have depleted in your way to meet them. Manesha eminates passion for her work, and her husband has a committed calm that makes you feel like the world is definitely going to be a better place after he and Manesha are done with it.

To top it all off they invited me there for lunch, and I had the pleasure of meeting their son and daugther, two magnificent young adults who have certainly been impacted by the magic of their parent's life long commitment to social justice.

CHECK THEM OUT AT: www.masum-india.org

ODANADI SEVA SAMSTHE

I learned about Odanadi from Mr. and Mrs. Partasarathy. Tricia and I were talking to them about HT issues and they said...oh, you should contact this organization. We got on the phone and easily made an appointment with Stanley, the founder. I was surprised we got the meeting, and ever so thankful that he could make the time for us.

We arrived at ODINADI and I instantly felt at home. Stanley was in the yard talking to a group of people, others were moving about busily and the energy was definitely non-profit - WE HAVE LITTLE, BUT WE DO A LOT. He asked us to wait as he took care of a few things and later joined us. We sat in a rooms with lots of partly done windows. This was the current state of the ODANADI house which is in the process of being built to care for 96 children who have been trafficked for one reason or another. As we say, it was social justice in the making.

Stanley and a partner decided 15 years ago to address the issue of prostitution in their community. Realizing the patterns of patriarchy (his word) and the few options available to women, they decided to take the issue on. In the very beginning Stanley went to the market (Mysore has an amazing fruit and vegetable market) and asked for donated food. He then cooked and cleaned for the children of prostitutes. He took care of them, their health, their needs, and anything else he could do. At the same time he worked with the women - jobs, advocacy, services - all very low-budget. This work developed throughout the years bringing it to today.

ONEIDA is squarely focused on human trafficking - strategically. I add strategically to say that they start their analysis and their work with trafficking issues at the center, but smartly branch out to include all the community needs that make it so trafficking grows - poverty, lack of education, health care, etc. In the first 10 minutes Stanley described the work of ONEIDA, and in doing so, the international strategy currently being used by the UN and others to combat trafficking. He went through the strategy step by step -

PREVENTION: Education of community, families, children at schools.
PERSECUTION: Working with the police and following the traces of where children are being taken to all over India. This work also includes rescue operations where Stanley himself follows the chain of the trafficking mafia to find a child who may be as far as Delhi (north india) but who is from a village in south India.
REHABILITATION: Working with individual children, their families and sometimes the entire local community who now reject the girl who is no longer virgin and seen as a prostitute and not worthy of marriage.

The details of his story, and the story of ONEIDA were both amazing as I think about the type of work I want to be involved in, in the future, and the work that US foundations need to be paying attention to. The experience of being there was also great.

Some moments to give you a picture:
-We are talking and Stanley is asked about what languages have to be used to write the sign that will be in front of the house. India uses Hindi and English, but many states (especially in the South) have their own language, and in many cases small communities have their own dialect.
-We are talking and a girl comes to ask him about the bumps on her body. Apparently she has a skin rash that no one can figure out that came about when she was trafficked. She is a dancer and really wants to be in the performance to happen a few days after out departure. Stanley tells her they are working with the doctor and that he wants to make sure she will dance, and he will try his best. She leaves, he gets on the cellular to the Dr. He explains the situation and asks for the Dr. to come back.
-We are talking and chais/teas are served to us. No matter the context, Indians (like many other cultures) are hosts.

In all cases, all interruptions Stanley excuses himself and says, "I'm sorry for the interruption but these kids are the reason I am here, they are the reason all of this exists. If I don't put them first than there is no point." Tricia and I nod in vehement agreement.

PLEASE, CHECK THEM OUT AT: www.odanadi.org

Needless to say I had one hundred thousand emotions in this meeting. What does this all mean to me? What do I want to do with my life? I wish I were a Dr. so that I could tell this beautiful girl she will be ok. I got teary eyed as Stanley described the work, the experiences of the children and as everything I have read about in the last two years came out of the mouth of this man who has lived it with the children. I was so happy to be able to converse with him due to my own knowledge and to be able to show that I came prepared and respectfully to his presence. Every 15 minutes we asked if he needed to go, and every 15 minutes he told us he too wanted people to know that this issue is happening in India and that more people need to be aware of it, and that he would go when it was time.

Stanley asked me what I was going to do next and I shared a bit of my thoughts. I was surprised by his validation when he said, "Whatever you decide to do it will be great. Your passion for this work is clear in you eyes." It's yet another moment in life where perfect strangers have a way of telling you what's important to you, something you feel, but question.

Also of course, I donated money to ODANADI. After all, I believe in philanthropy. After many years of wondering where my US donations have gone to I felt that my donation here was going to exactly where I wanted it to go. After about 1.15 hours Tricia and I left, both in silenceknowing that this world is a very, very complex place, that what ONEIDA is doing in magical, and I think individually trying to figure out what role we each need to play to make it better.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

From GOA, with love...BY PATRICIA LOOMIS (with Epiogue By Julio)

2005-11-30T02:27:00.000-11:00

hello my lovelies,

I realize it's been a while so I'll start with the obvious: we're doing very very well, for a number of reasons. Last you heard, I was recovering from what turned out to be only the first phase of my 6-day G.I. adventure. It got uglier, especially when we had to leave Pondicherry (via Chennai aka Madras) to travel by rickshaw-bus-train-bus to get across the country and back to Goa. It was over a day of travel and the night before I left, I finally understood it when my pharmacist told me that I would know when I needed to take my Ciproflaxin. He was absolutely right, though I remember feeling frustrated when he said this to me. I now know what is meant by severe diarrhea. I'm surprised I have a G.I track anymore. I'll spare you any more of the details, but there was pain involved, along with the emotional difficulty of worrying about the fact that Immodium did not, as before, really help. Then again, maybe it did and it could have been much much worse. Anyhow and anyway, I am officially better and Julio's health is fine as well. I have eaten over the last few days and enjoyed it and I believe my stomach may be returning to its former size (a good thing!).

We are on vacation at the beach in a tiny town called Patnem. The water is warm, the sun is hot, the beach is long, wide and almost empty, save for Julio, Romina, Maria*, me and a few others. The neighboring town, Palolem, is hopping in comparison, filled with too many westerners so we moved after the first night. We've been staying in a shack on the beach made out of bamboo poles, plywood and woven palm walls. We have a little porch and a bathroom with running water that sometimes works. It is so lovely to wake up with the sun coming in through the patterned holes in the weave, it shines speckles of light on the mosquito net and is just so exquisitely beautiful. It's mostly idyllic except our little house is missing part of a wall and I realized this morning that we have other roommates besides the mosquitoes and crickets and insects. It's either a mouse or a rat and I think it must have a very dirty mouth because it's been eating my soap. It's scented with tea tree oil so I can almost see the appeal. Fresh and clean tasting.

[*these two are of Rishikesh fame, for those of you reading Julio's blog from his first month... they're two warm, amazing, beautiful-souled Chilenas who laugh a lot (like us) and have reminded me how much I love the Spanish language. I've decided to refresh my language skills when I return, although I now have an invitation to Santiago after they get back home. Tonja--you too! maybe we should think about living abroad for a while? And Carlo, I know you've always got a place for me in Ecuador, right?]

It was so nice to arrive here after our tour de force, which ultimately took a lot out of us, especially after our sicknesses. Now, our main commitment is to the sun and the water. We wake up when we feel like it, go grab some yummy coffee and something to eat at a restaurant down the beach called Home (London, Zurich, Patnem) and then we swim and soak in the sun. Today, Julio and I started the Bikram series in the sand as we were tanning. It was hot enough, just extra challenging because of the sand. At party time (the only official water break of the series) we jumped in the Arabian Sea instead of drinking water. After that, when we wanted water, we just swam. It felt so good, we haven't done any yoga here because we haven't been in one place long enough. Most yoga schools take students for a month or a week at the least. I've been missing Bikram. Charlie, Kim: you'll have to get me back in shape when I get back. Doubles for a week maybe? My practice was already slipping before I left, I can't imagine what a month off will do.

We found a place that makes really yummy, really fresh Indian food and it's affordable. There's no menu, just a waiter with a beautiful smile and great suggestions. We're thinking of taking a boat to get to one of the islands here and then maybe on another day renting mopeds to go up to Old Goa. We met a family on the train who are originally from Goa but have moved around the country over the last few generations. They told us a story about their annual pilgrimage back home to visit their family shrines. Basically, when the Portuguese were coming, their Hindu ancestors buried their idols so they wouldn't be destroyed by the Catholic colonizers. After the fighting ended the families returned, uncovered the goddesses and built shrines for them. They invited us to come and see them. Such a beautiful strength of spirit, sense of history, real hope for the future, and power over the powerful.

EPILOGUE:
Tricia has done an outstanding job describing our journey to Goa and what we have been doing here. I will simply add that Goa brings my psyche (our, really) back to normal. The sand and the sea and the all powerful sun have a way of recharging the batteries that have been used in out tour the force. Tricia wakes up smiling at the sun piercing through the bamboo, and I wake up singing -

LITTLE TOWN, SUCH A QUIET VILLAGE.
HOT DAY, LIKE THE ONE BEFORE.
LITTLE TOWN, FULL OF LITTLE PEOPLE.
WAKING UP TO SAY, "NAMASTE, NAMASTE."

LOOK THERE HE GOES THE MAN WITH MORE CHAPATI.
HE'S GETTING IT READY FOR US.
ALL WE FEEL IS GREAT SUN.
READY FOR SO MUCH MORE FUN.
IT's ALL SO WELL.

And, with these feeling we get on with our day as Tricia described. For those of you paying attention, yes, this means no OSHO for Tricia. We decided that the sun offered her much more (for less) than OSHO ever could.

And, a special note for my beautiful mother. THIS INDIA, YOU WOULD LOVE!!!!!!

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

First Came the Rains....

2005-11-23T02:32:00.000-11:00

And now the runs have come.

By the way, the monsoons have been confirmed. I have never before experienced such rain, such wind, such huge waves in a bay. Last night the wind was howling, the palm trees were bent over and the waves were crashing at least ten feet high. We're now staying at the Sri Oribindo (sp?) ashram guest house. It's lovely with beautiful gardens, and there are no required meditations. The gates are locked at 10:30, no drugs, drinking or smoking. Easy enough rules. And our balcony looks directly out over the water, our room is big and comfortable. Perfect for the sorry state we are in.

Between Julio's diarrhea and my vomiting, we are (literally) a mess. I've managed to keep down some toast, an improvement over last night when a drink of water made me throw up. It's hard to stay hydrated in those circumstances. It all started--I believe--with our shameful dinner two nights ago. Julio REALLY wanted some pizza (he's been traveling for longer than I have, so I tried to be understanding. There was supposed to be a lovely Italian restaurant with wood fired pizzas, not far from our first hotel. Unfortunately, they were closed. Julio's little heart was set on pizza and we had been on the road for such a long time that we just did it: we caved in and went to the Pizza Hut we had passed on our walk. It was okay, really, and you should have seen Julio's face when he bit into that first slice (wait, there's a picture so you will see it!). The next morning, we paid the price. We both basically peed our poop. I made the mistake of taking Immodium (which works really really well). Whatever gastrointestinal nastiness was inside was then trapped. My body had no choice but to start vomiting... At least this is my theory on why two different people who had eaten the same foods were affected so differently, in terms of the expulsion orifice our bodies chose. And I still have this cold, so the horrible headache I've been experiencing could be from sinuses, caffeine withdrawal or dehydration. who knows.

We're so fortunate that this happened here in Pondicherry, where we planned to stay for several days so we don't have to think about the bus or the train just yet. If this had happened three days ago, it would have been so much harder to handle. Plus, we're both sick at the same time and it's pouring down rain so it would be hard to do much of anything anyway. It's perfect, we're listening to the Life of Pi on the iPod (it takes place in Pondicherry), we sleep, and watch the weather.

Tomorrow the sun is supposed to come out. Keep your fingers crossed for us and our tummies so we can enjoy it.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

The Rains Have Come...by Patricia Loomis

2005-11-23T02:30:00.000-11:00

The rains have come. The ones everyone's been talking about but we've been lucky
enough to have missed, up until today. We've arrived in Pondicherry (a little
ahead of schedule), this is after about 21 hours of travel, including the
journey from Ernakulum to Madurai on an overnight bus where we arrived at 5am or
so, tired but with a new attitude toward our welcoming committee. Now, we very
graciously thank everyone who offers something to us--most often a rickshaw--
"Oh, THANK YOU, thank you ever so much. We really appreciate the offer but we'll
walk. But really, thank you. You're very kind." It's amazing how it both turns
us around and catches people off guard (for better or worse).

We stopped in Madurai, specifically to see a temple (see, we CAN see the sights
and be good tourists! and you all thought we were just sitting around drinking
coffee, chai, and chatting...) We took a bicycle rickshaw from the temple to
breakfast, a train from Madurai to Villapuram (in unreserved chair class,
crowded but very cheap! it took only two hours longer than we were told it
would). As we arrived at the train station, we--unfortunately--had to burrow
into the very bottom of our packs to find our rain gear. (Tonja, we've been
trying so hard to channel your organization skills and efficiency over the last
few days, often stopping to ask, "What would Tonja do in this situation?" "Why
does this take us so long? If Tonja were here, she'd be showered, packed up, and
halfway to the bus station by now." It's just that before now, it's been nothing
but sunny and hot so my poncho migrated from the easy access part of my bag to
the least accessible part.) The scene we created looking for the raingear was
priceless. In short order, between fifteen and twenty children (and some adults)
were gathered around us, watching as we pulled stuff out, digging through our
things. They were just hanging out on the platform, so we provided some
wonderful entertainment. I have a picture of all of them, watching us in awe.
Not really an "experienced traveller" moment, but we moved on...

This was followed by a local bus to Pondicherry, you know, the kind where the
driver slows down so people can jump off (I got on while it was moving, with my
backpack, poncho and all!)... and finally an auto rickshaw to the hotel. We've
experienced lots of modes of transportation over the last day or so. And it was
just yesterday that we were on a ferry between Ernakulum and Fort Kochi and
earlier today we were wishing we could see the top of the temple from a
helicopter.

So it's pouring outside, I have a nasty cold, and you'll likely hear more from
Julio about how we caved in: a shameless dinner we just had. The beautiful thing
is we have a room with a view of the bay (of Bengal, to be exact), about six
minutes of hot water, (for the equivalent of about $10/night) and several days
in this town so there's no real reason to get up early tomorrow morning.

And we're in India experiencing the tail of the monsoon season. Not at all bad.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

YA-BA-DA-BA-DOOO (and a cappucino)

2005-11-23T02:28:00.000-11:00

I know I have not written about places lately. Again, with Tricia here I have been both a bit less inclined to write, and super busy running here and there in South India. Anyhoo, a few days ago Tricia and I were thousands of kilometers, and several bus/train/rickshaw rides away in a place called Hampi. The idea to go there came after a suggestion by my friend Kalpana, as well as Lonely Planet. THANK YOU
KALPANA!!!

Hampi is a beautiful place with amazing temples surrounded by equally amazing rock formations. The region is made for discovering nature (rock nature), being in awe of the temples, and imagining of what would have been there before. For instance, the ruins of bazzars still exhist, thus allowing us to imagine the hundreds of people using shops everyday. You can still see simple, yet beautiful carvings on the sides of rocks, and tools that were once used for water or even a rock car with rock wheels-which actually worked! So

India, so Flistones. I found this entry in a travel site and thought it offered a good review of Hampi...

http://www.bootsnall.com/articles/04-04/vijayanagar-wanderings-hampi-india.html

For Tricia and me Hampi offered us a place to learn about how we like to travel, what we love to do, and how we like to experience another world. Hampi meant - the discovery of coffee, or better yet, the search for good coffee by any means necessary.

We started out at a place we had passed by on our way into the city. It boasted "cappucinos" and the site of little cafetera (the little
Italian stove top expresso makers) made our eyes twinkle with excitement. We ran to find a hotel, moved hotels, bargained, and landed in a place for R200/night. No hot water needed since Hampi's heat is like New Mexico's but in India. We showered since we had been in an DIRTY overnight train (worst than the one Tricia wrote about. Yes, there is such a thing) and got ready for our coffee.

We went to the little restaurant and ordered a pot and some puri for breakfast. We peaked to see how the coffee was being made, and suddenly the man appeared from the back of the restaurant with a tray with a cafetera, 2 glasses and hot milk. We were thrilled, but hesitant. After all, black coffee does not mean good coffee.

We meticulously measured the milk on each glass. Like brother and sister. You know, "I pour and choose the one you want." Then, slowly but surely we poured the dark, black, thick coffee into the milk and watched quietly, holding our breath, while the coffee mized with the milk. The milk turned a light brown, then it progressively turned darker until the process was over. We had the exact same amount of coffee on each glass, and we also have pictures to prove it. Then, we did a very important thing. We each held our glass, feelilng the warmth and power of the coffee between our fingers, and we closed our eyes, and we prayed. We prayed to Jesus, Abraham, Shiva, Moses, and even Juan Valdez. Then we slowly brought the coffee glasses to our mouths and took our first sip.

SCORE!!!!!!

It was so yummy. WOW. Sure it wasn't my mother's coffee, or Tonja's brew, but HELL, we are in India and we found one good cup of coffee. Beggers can't be choosers, and since we are choosers (we rejected many cups prior to this one) this was a true experience.

We drank that coffee like it was from the G-ds. This may be sinful to say. But that coffee was to us what I believe the waters of the Ganges are to Hindus - totally spiritual and washed away all past bad cups!!!

We celebrated that moment and we were so happy we did. We went back the next day and it was not so good. We then committed to trying every coffee place with a "cappucino" sign on it. Now, this is Hampi, little town in India, not LA. This mean 3-4 places. No made our cut, not even close. So, we settled for Nescafe for a while and then (because we are such hopeful souls) we went back to our place one last time and the coffee was good, not as good, but strong and with an attitude.

Hampi also marked the beginning of our swinging back into our addiction with a vengeance. Today, the mornings are tough and the afternoons hell. But we are managing. We now carry Nescafe, just in case. OK, while all the things on this last couple of sentences are
true we are also trying to slow-down. I (julio) have a goal to go back to tea between when Tricia leaves and Drew arrives. Tricia I am certain will go back to decaf. We'll see, but until then we are still in South India and somewhere we will find the "right cup."

Ooops, we gotta go, there is a place called Coffee.com around the corner and even though Tricia has been vomiting and I have had the runs for 24 hours we must have some joy in life...

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

By TRICIA: Tour de Force

2005-11-19T04:42:00.000-11:00

Where we've been and where we're going... For all of you out there poring over your maps of India, wondering where in the world we are, I can tell you we've been nearly everywhere, and where we haven't yet been, that is where we are going. Sounds like a riddle, doesn't it?
...feels that way, too.

I have only one month to travel with Julio in South India. India is huge. This is not enough time to see the south, but both heaven and Vishnu know we are doing our best, hence the Tour de Force of southern India.

So far, we've been to Mumbai, Goa, Hampi, Bangalore, Mysore, and Cochi. Tomorrow night we'll take a bus to Madurai and arrive in the morning (it's a new kind of sleeper bus seat: it sits upright and then... it reclines flat! we haven't yet tried this kind of seat so in some ways it's rather exciting, but in other ways--almost every other way-- it's really not. THE TRAIN IS MUCH BETTER. We like the train: no bumps, quiet, very few disruptive stops, polite conductors, optional breakfast/coffee/tea, more reliable schedule... the list goes on and on.) After a day in Madurai, we travel to Pondicherry for few days. Then we have to get ourselves to Chennai for a super-long train ride back to Goa. A few days on the beach, on to Pune (Osho! Osho! Osho!) and then back to Mumbai to put me on the plane. It's insane. Everyone we meet agrees that our schedule is crazy, too quick, but we' re doing quite well if I do say so myself. Our rule (to be broken over the next two days) is that between overnight transport, we have to sleep in a stationary place for at least one night.

We create scenes wherever we go, but of course we did this at school, in western MA, in LA, everywhere we've been together so it's really only new to the Indians. While in Hampi, we went to the barber for an adventure in getting Julio's fade just right. Language was a problem so I had to finish it up. It actually looked pretty good for someone who's never done a fade before... So now, not only is Julio a foot taller than everyone else and much more animated (it's dangerous to eat across the table from him because of the combination of food on his fingers and his gesticulations) but now he's nearly bald. And though I'm Indian-sized and fit quite nicely in rickshaws, on sleeper trains and on busses, I am blonde and white. (Yes, Tonja, I am white and am having my long-due "other" experience.) We dance in the streets, we return hellos with even brighter hellos, take pictures with all the kids who want to see themselves on the digital screen, stare back at the men who stare at me, lecture rickshaw drivers on morality and fight them when they try to cheat us, we drink a lot of (caffeinated) coffee and continue to laugh at the world, at frustrations, ourselves and think about when we're old we'll have these memories.

In some ways, we're lazy tourists, not too interested in seeing the sights, content to sit at a chai stand hanging out with the people who sit there every day with each other. This is what we do: we sit in coffee shops, talk, listen and watch... this is what we have always done, now we're doing it in India, it's perfect. We're almost past the point (I think) where Julio sits across from me and says, "Hi Tricia Loomis, in India," and we sit in amazement of our circumstances.

Some people have asked what happened at 17:15 on the 15th, the end of my honeymoon with India. It was a chain of events, really, culminating in a rickshaw driver interaction. We were arriving in Mysore and just needed a few minutes to get ourselves together (calling the hotel, figuring out where we were on the map) and of course, the welcoming committee was waiting for us and wouldn't let us go without trying to give out all kinds of conflicting information and only about 2 inches of personal space. We had just gotten off a hot, sticky bus ride where there were a group of men, smelling of drink, who were making comments about me and staring. For once, I was so happy not to understand what was being said. Before that, we had a challenging and frustrating time at the train station in Bangalore and walked through an underground walkway with inches of brownish stinky water (I hope?) in some sections (thank heaven for my Keens). It added up to a lot. Thankfully, I have--since then--become more capable at handling train reservations, pushing in line, phone calls and the run-arounds so it's not all on Julio to work this stuff out. We had a pretty successful transportation reservation day two days ago, with both of us taking parts of it.

My hour's up, lovelies. Namaste.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

By TRICIA: My Honeymoon is Over

2005-11-19T04:19:00.000-11:00

Yesterday, my honeymoon with India ended. It happened at about 17:15 in the afternoon.

Not to say I'm unhappy or want to come home... not at all. I still love India, it's just that our relationship has changed a bit. I have more realistic expectations and have come to see some of the aspects of traveling here with a new perspective. I think as the honeymoon period comes to an end, denial takes over (that may have lasted a day or so before I realized our honeymoon was over... I still wanted to BELIEVE that train tickets could be had with simplicity, that people could, if pressed, give us the information we needed, that I could say "no, I don't want to buy that sticker/postcard/guidebook/banana/tour/rickshaw/taxi" without being followed...).

The current stage is ACCEPTANCE. I am working on this. I accept this country for what it is, all the 1.1 billion people who live here and must find some way to scrape by. I understand some of the long history and complex culture that combine to limit the mobility of the people of India (in contrast to the world I know in the US and our American dream). I know about the distinctions between the developed and developing world and see how globalization is affecting this country (for better or worse). I recognize the gross income disparity that slaps us all in the face when people like me (RICH people) come to India to travel.

The key, I think, is to remind myself of these truths and to focus on the beautiful things, the parts of India I fell in love with a week ago, and the new beautiful things that happen to put my head over my heels all over again. In some ways, I love the madness, the noise, the smells, the constant crush of people. I love the landscape, the sunshine, the warmth, the food, the generosity of some of the people we've met, their sincerity, their spirituality, their culture... I could go on and on.

This is all happening very fast, I know. We just met a week ago, somewhere in there we connected, wed and took a honeymoon. I'm sorry, India, that it ended. I still love you.... I really think we can work this out.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

LIVING and LEARNING

2005-11-19T04:17:00.000-11:00

I HATE RICKSHAW DRIVERS!!!

So, I am a bit in a sour mood right now. Not because of the beautiful day that Tricia and I had in the back waters of Kerala. We spent the day going in and out of riverbanks in a house boat, then we changed to a five person canoe and went into even smaller riverettes (i am sure there is an official english name for these). The day was hot and the waters were beautiful.

Why am I annoyed? RICKSHAW drivers.

These guys are the bane of my existence here. In my nearly two months here they have only been honest once or twice. I have learned that they are also the bane of Indians' existence. This, unfortunately, does not make me feel better. Here in Kochi, as in many places, they have meeters, but claim these are broken when everyone gets into them. Lately Tricia and I have taken matters into our own hands by demanding the meter be turned on, or by turning the meter on ourselves. Still, it is annoying. More recently, tonight, we tried another strategy after we asked a guy to turn on the meter, he said no and we decided (out of spite and to hold to our values) to walk. The new strategy is. get in the rickshaw, let them take us where we want to go, and pay them what we believe it must be. This, as you might guess, is not popular with them, but it works. I just get really annoyed and just want to punch somebody, just sock them silly. I can give many people a lesson about the evils of the world and how the economy should provide good jobs, and blah, blah, blah, but cheatting is not right. It is not right to do it to foreigners or Indians.

I HATE RICKSHAW DRIVERS!!!

These experiences, and many others, are teaching me what I like and don't like about traveling. I don't like to move around too much. I like to get somewhere and stay there. I like to get to know a place, say hello to the chai guy because he has seen me for many days. I like to have tried several restaurants and go to my favorite one many times. I like to sleep on the same bed (clean or not) for more than two nights. I like to walk without using my map. I like to know where the best place to watch the sunset is, and I like to get up when I feel like it (which has meant 8am). I like to leave a place when it feels like I want a new experience. I like small towns. I don't like big cities, unless the big cities have good transportation (meter!). I also like to know at least one person in the big city. I love food, of all types. I love, love to try different foods. I now eat spicy food - green chilly peppers, black ones and sometimes I venture into red. I love coffee more than chai and I am an addict. MY NAME IS JULIO DANTAS and I AM A PROUD CAFFEINE ADDICT. I like people who like to exchange ideas and laugh, regardless of how much they speak any of the languages I speak. I like people who feed me endlessly. I like mineral water. I have a quiet side and it is only clear when I have not quiet available to me in my life. I like a moment alone between me and my coffee. I don't like to be bothered when that is happening. Chai time is also golden. This "quiet" time is at 3-3:30pm. All other times I am happy to carry on with someone about my and their lives.

I have also been a bit too logistical lately. Ok, not too logistical - necessarily logistical. With Tricia here for a short time, Drew's eminent arrival, and my departure to Vietnam I have been checking email every day for arrivals, calling hotels, making sure tours are in place, etc. Tricia is a great travel partner, and Drew is basically taking care of himself, and Vicky has done much of the work for Vietnam, but it is still details and details that I wish G-d would take care of for me. Alas, being a mortal is so hard. Especially a middle class mortal living in a developed nation. Snif, snif, for me.

Ok, abrupt closure, but I must depart to look at logistical emails.

Hugs to All,
Julio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

From Tonja To Tricia

2005-11-16T02:55:00.000-11:00

Amazing Emails: We, the travelers, still have to address issues at home...all issues. All of you know how much I love these two. This email is a riot (and important) all at the same time.

From Tonja To Tricia:
Questions about our benifits.

(1)?Seeing as you got your contacts for the year and you have an rx with which you could get glasses before the end of the year, should I sign us up for the eyemed plan for '06. it costs $240 for the year. If you would like it, do not hesitate to say so, but wanted to put it to you.

(2) What are the chances you would have a baby before 1/07?? (you?would have to be preg by 3/06)?I ask because the plan we have charges $500 for a hosp admission. So, if you were to say, "yeah, one of the things I wanted to talk to you about is that I am ready to start trying RIGHT AWAY. I want to have a baby ASAP", then we might be better off bumping up our coverage. This is not to pressure you in any way, just thought I would make sure your thoughts have not majorly changed.

Love you, tonja

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Knowing My Limits, and Still Trying to Be Feminist "Friend"

2005-11-16T02:36:00.000-11:00

To all my female friends, from International Correspondent: Patricia Loomis...

THE Art (or is it science?) of Changing a Tampon over an Indian Toilet

Julio has shared so much about his travels on his blog (http://brazilbean.blogspot.com), but there are some things he cannot know. Some things that may be uncomfortable for some readers, therefore:

READER DISCRETION ADVISED. The content of this message is rated R for discussion of the female reproductive system, graphic scenes, and some coarse language.

First, let me describe what an Indian--or squat--toilet is like, for those of you who may have never encountered one: It's a toilet stall, usually with a door, where the "seat" of the toilet is not raised English style, but rather is flush with the level of the floor, meaning that it is not a seat at all, but more like a hole in the ground, or the floor, wherever. Speaking of flush, there is none. At outdoor facilities like this, there is very rarely a sink with running water, usually no garbage can, and the floor is literally puddled with "misses". I always roll up my pants legs before going in because otherwise, when I squat down, they would get wet.

Second, a little information--kind of on the personal side--is needed before I continue. I use applicator-free tampons. Why? They're compact (useful when back-packing), they create less waste and I never had a problem with using them (some women are uncomfortable with the concept). In the squat toilet world, they are a bit of trouble though. Your hands need to be clean to put in the thing (organic, bleach-free cotton, of course... you can take the bourgoise (sp?) girl out of the developed world but you can't take the bougie out of the girl, at least when it comes to certain things)... but as soon as you touch the bathroom door your hands are no longer clean (and they weren't to begin with). And finally, you need to be able to clean your finger after inserting the tampon.

Third, what do you do with the old one when there's no garbage and the toilet empties out into something that goes somewhere where it's not treated? You take it with you of course, but that seems messy...

The solution to all this?
Baby wipes!!! Strategically stored baby wipes and a few squares of toilet paper... This is where cargo pants come in handy. But this must all be carefully planned out before getting near the facility.

The Steps:
1) Make sure you have the supplies you need: tampon, 1-2 baby wipes, and a few squares of TP.
2) Roll up the pant legs.
3) Enter the stall and take a deep breath, or then again, maybe not... breathe before you go in and try not to breathe until you're all done.
4) Remove your supplies and hold them in one hand while undoing your pants. Squat. This will create a lap shelf to put the supplies on.
5) Remove the old tampon and do any necessary related business. Wrap used tampon in toilet paper and put on the lapshelf. (I know, but it's better than putting it on the puddled floor.)
6) Use a wipe to clean your hands (hand sanitizer is a bad idea... ouch! it's alcohol based!).
7) Unwrap and insert tampon.
8) Clean up with baby wipe or TP.

Done!

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Home Laugther While In India

2005-11-16T02:33:00.000-11:00

Email between Roger, a wonderful friend who has an amazing coffee and specialty cookies business in Los Angeles and has been named as one of the TOP 49 things every person in Los Angeles should try. My mother is a professional Brazilian Bikini Waxer (aka: pussy waxer) working on a book about her clients' experiences.

FROM ROGER to RENY:

Reny,

Thank you for the words of encouragement. I love the chapters of the book I read and practically fell of the elliptical machine at the gym. I know what you mean about work work work, and you are right that when you love what you do, it doesn't tire you as much. Since I am a perfectionist, most of the time, I work by myself t'ill the late or early mornings.

I am so happy for you! I look forward to getting an authograph copy. If you have a chance to run down to Borders be sure to pick up the November issue of Los Angeles Magazine (we are item 42 of 46 things every Angeleno should taste) Food Lover's Guide Issue, and Travel Savvy Magazine (Nov Issue) - They selected us as the # 4 Marshmallow Maker in the Nation....he he he :)

When you talk to your son, "Jew-lhio", tell him not to take the Jew part of his name so serious and shoot me an email. I was worried when India was shaking and emailed him, but he never got back. I found out from Drew that he was OK, so that was good. He needs to pick a safe place to settle, after all you named him Julio not Mosses so he shouldn't be wandering around for 40 more years I hope. I don't see him often, but he holds a special place in my fat little heart.

Anyways, back to work here. Paul and I wish you all a wonderful Holiday Season. Be sure to tell all your VIP clients that coffee is good for their pussies ;).

Hugs,

Roger

Roger Navas-Balladares
www.SplitBeanCoffee.com
Tel - (818) 448-5185
Fax- (309) 210-8449

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

1.1 Billion People, and Counting

2005-11-15T05:28:00.000-11:00

In Mysore, Karnataka State, at an internet place with Tricia. We just went to an amazing ALL YOU CAN EAT Thaly place. I had 6 servings, Tricia had 4 (yes, Tricia had 4) and we could not get up. It was fabulous. We ate on banana leaves, a staple in the South, and Tricia got to try eating with her hands. It was fabulous, and she will write more about it.

For now, I wanted to say a few words about 1.1 billion people. I am especially inspired because today I was body slammed (not intentionally), I got hit by a bike, and I walked into a rickshaw, all in a 4 minutes span. I am fine, laughing a lot with Tricia, and fine. Oh yes, and Tricia was nearly assassinated by a vegetable cart.

India has over 3.5 times the number of people the US has. There are people everywhere. In the bathroom there is always someone, in the bus the seats are almost always filled and some people stand, the trains are crazy with people everywhere, the internet cafes, the restaurants and especially the streets are crazy. The idea of a moment alone is foreign concept. If you don't like people, don't come to India is the main message. I am not judging the people in India. Most of the Indians I have met are wonderful, except for rickshaw drivers, but it's that there are so many people. So, with so many people I would like to give you some Indian moments that span the globe of experiences...

-I asked a man if he could tell me where I could get a pair of pants. He told, "follow-me, my shop!" I thought great. I entered his shop and saw thousands of shirts. I asked about the pants, and he said, "sir just take a look at some shirts." I rolled my eyes and walked out.

-You have heard, and I will tell you again. Every time foreigners get off a bus we have a welcoming committee. Two days ago there were about 18 guys standing outside the bus door as we walked out. All yelling, RICKSHAW, HOTEL, RICKSHAW, POSTCARDS. The number of people means that you have to take the experiences you have had as a tourist every where else and multiply it by 100.

-I often try to find a spot in a restaurant to sit quietly. I order my coffee/chai and sort of hide by looking into my book, or turning on my IPOD. The other day Tricia and I went for coffee with this same idea. The restaurant was EMPTY. We were so happy. They waiter asked us what we wanted, served our coffee, and then pulled up a chair and sat with us. He did not say anything, he just sat there, put on my sunglasses and waived at the people that passed by.

-I often ask a travel agent to look up at train ticket for me. He tells me the trains that are available. I then ask about a different route, and he often says my suggested route does not exist. He then tells me about buses. Then, I change my dates and he goes into the computer and offers me ticket in the route that moments earlier did not exist. I look at him and ask, always, "would it have been so hard to tell me truth a moment ago so that we did not have to do this twice?" He looks at me as if I am the crazy one.

-Train stations are amazing. Imagine a section about a quarter a football field. This is the size of some of the areas outside of train stations. When I take middle of the night trains, I walk over literally 1,000-1,500 people sleeping on the ground. At 4am, 6pm, 11pm, 2am, there are people at the train station, trains are coming and going and there is someone yelling CCCCCCHHHHHAAAAAAAAIIIIIIII

These are just a few moments of India and its people. The sheer number makes for both a variety of experiences and then the same experiences multiplied by 100.

Ok, I am fading here. It is going to be 10pm and I have a few pounds of food in my stomach. I need to sleep.

Oh yes, one more thing. We had a great day today. We visited one of the men who was in my Himalayas tour and whose daughter works for Human Rights Watch India. We did not see her, but will see her the day after tomorrow. Tomorrow we will be picked up by another person from my tour who will take us to their home for breakfast and who will give us a tour of Mysore. We are really looking forward to it.

Lots of hugs,

Julio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

The SLEEPER (NOT!) Bus- By Tricia

2005-11-12T22:54:00.000-11:00

Dear all, With Tricia here I am on a little hiatus. Below is her entry of our eventful life in the last couple of days...

By Tricia:
{ Sorry, everyone, for the delay in telling you about the night bus. I know the anticipation must be building, but probably not as much as my frustration with keyboards, slow access, and lost emails. This is the third time I've written this. }

THE SLEEPER BUS from Mumbai to Goa. 8pm-8am
Imagine a big Greyhound bus, super fancy luxury Volvo AC bus. It's converted to a sleeper by adding bunks where the overhead storage would be. A few seats remain in the front of the bus, these are for people who bought "sitting" tickets instead of "sleeping" tickets. Our sleeping shelf was the second one on the right hand side, over the heads of a few people sitting below. Now, some of the bunks had ladders to help you climb up but not ours, so we used the bar meant to keep you from rolling out to hoist ourselves up... We laughed, in near hysterics, once we saw what we were in for on our 12 hour ride and appreciated the fact that we are as close as we are and that we like each other as much as we do. The bunk was about three feet wide, maybe 3.5, and this was a double sleeper, NOT a single. It's about 6.5 feet long, with a ceiling that slopes down toward the window (thank Shiva for the window, we got to look through the top six inches of it... without that I think the claustrophobic in me would have lost it). There were six inches from the tip of my nose to the ceiling and probably 12-18 inches above Julio's head. Thanks to Bikram yoga, our skeletal systems have improved enough that we could sit, with our spines curled over, for short periods of time. We grew very skilled at using our feet to retrieve items from the bottom of the bunk. But basically, we had to be horizontal for the duration of the trip.

We found all of this to be VERY funny, but it got even better. The bus made several stops in Mumbai and at one of them, along with the new passengers came an extremely strong, very foul odor. India is famous for the smells it offers (not always good). I don't know if stench rises like heat, but this one was truly awful. (If anyone knows the answer, let me know. A prize to the first believable response.) The doors were shut and we were trapped on our shelf with the curtains closed, covering our noses and trying not to breathe, all while laughing like a couple of lunatics. The conductor, in trying to remedy the problem, only made it worse by spraying an aerosol can of air freshener along the length of the bus. We could actually see the mist coming over the top of the curtain, into our bunk. It was possibly worse than the original odor.

Not too long after that, they switched from the radio to the soundtrack of a Bollywood film and when I say soundtrack, I mean the ACTUAL soundtrack, complete dialogue and fight scenes included. I heard the whole movie because it was impossible to sleep, I'll never know how Julio managed with me tossing and turning and the bus lurching in all directions. [Our night bus was not unlike the Knight Bus of the wizarding world:it didn't fly, but there were lots of tight turns, quick stops and starts, causing us to be thrown in all directions and bounced around as the bus went over potholes and bumps in the road...]

The bus stopped every four hours or so for people to use the toilet. I was desperate by the first stop and woke Julio up to tell him we stopped, scaring him with all my excitement. Then I couldn't find the toilet... In wandering around, I came across these really angry, really loud honking geese that greeted people as the went into the rest stop. Finally, I found the place, the most disgusting squat toilet that I was ever so happy to see. (Thanks also to Charlie and Kim for teaching me and Bikram Choudury for including awkward pose in the series; it makes squatting over a hole so much more manageable.)

The truth is, that despite all of what could have made for a terrible night, I was so happy to be in India, to be with Julio, that I lay awake actually smiling at the ceiling, composing this email in my head and looking out the window at the passing lights until we got far enough away from cities and it grew too dark to see anything.

I woke Julio up again at 9:00am when the conductor yelled, "Welcome to Goa! It has been a very slow ride!" We quickly packed up all our stuff to find out that it was just a chai stop and that we were being welcomed to the state of Goa, not the final stop. Julio asked the driver how much longer the trip would be: about two hours. We plugged in the ipod, laughed some more and danced around in our bunk, on our backs. Julio--amazingly--fell asleep again and woke up at the next stop where people started gathering their things and getting off the bus. After getting our packs from under the bus, we were harassed by a barrage of rickshaw drivers, taxi drivers and motorcycle taxi drivers (These last said that both of us and both of our packs would fit on the motorcycle, no problem). We got some sweets and started making phone calls to lodging places in Colva, the beach town we were ultimately going to, six miles away from Margao. At this point, this was my second night without sleep, and Julio had just woken up.

Maybe ten minutes later, we realized that we were not, in fact, in Margao but rather in a town called Mapusa in the northern part of the state. We wanted to be much farther south of where we actually were. Of course, our bus was long gone and we had no choice but to negotiate with some of the taxi and rickshaw drivers, whose prices seemed to make a lot more sense now. We chose an autorickshaw, deciding that we didn't want the local bus experience at that particular point in time. An hour later, we made it to Colva and took the first lodging option we came across. It took them an hour to clean our room, so instead of arriving on the beach at 8:30 or 9:00 as we had hoped, it was more like 2:30 before we walked into town, found some food to eat and walked down the beach.

We decided that the sleeper bus experience was one we were okay with having, but one that would not be repeated. Lo and behold, two nights later we were on another, from Margao to Hampi (the town where we are now). We opted for sitting tickets this time (they're cheaper). I won't get into the details here ( but here's a taste: cockroaches crawling up the walls, this one was NOT a VOLVO AC luxury sleeper)... believe me when I tell you that this was also eventful and unbelievable, mostly because of the crew in charge of the operation. Everything that happens here is somehow either absurd or just beautifully eventful and memorable. Every day seems like a week, but in a truly wonderful way, it's just time passing differently. I'd love to stay here longer.

Love to you all,
Tricia in India

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

GOA: Beach and Sun, After a Tumultous Arrival (See Tricia Entry for Latter)

2005-11-11T01:41:00.000-11:00

Tricia has shared with you our crazy trek to GOA. Suffice to say, with the two of us, it was cause for endless laugther and craziness. A golden moment was when, at midnight Tricia awoke me on the bus stating "OH MY G-D, THE BUS STOP. WE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM. GET UP, LET'S GO!" It was like someone gave her this prize after 4 hours of travel. It was a riot.

Today was one of those days that makes the ticket price to India all worth it. We sat on the beach all day. We had breakfast at the beach, we were given a choice of fishes for lunch, and we ate the fish. The man brought a tray of different fishes (yes, raw and whole) and asked us which one we wanted. We chose one and told him how we wanted it done. Grilled with nothing. We added the salt, pepper and lots of lime. It was exquisite with the india/portuguese rice and the chips (french fries). We ate our meal looking at the Arabian Sea, which by the way, is a beautiful body of water in which to swim. You should all try it.

Having Tricia here has been wonderful. Apart from the obvious reason, which is that she is here and I love her so much, it has been nice to share India with someone else. Seeing her having experiences for the first time signals to me that I have been initiated, that I am learning, and that I have matured as a traveler and someone who is in the world in a more experienced way. Being able to be here for her also makes me feel like I am more comfortable in my new skin. The best tool to deal with crazy India has of course, been to tell everyone we are married in our honeymoon and that we don't want to be bothered. It has worked and we will milk it for what it's worth.

Goa is beautiful. OK, Colva, one of the many, many Goan beaches is beautiful. Once you walk away from the main drag where the crowds are you can find quiet places with seaside restaurants that let you sit peacefully and offer foods from China, Italy and India. It's is a tourist and middle to upper crust India paradise and trust me, it is the sector of Indian I am sticking to for a while. Tonight we are off to Hampi and the next 2 weeks we will be the whirling dervishes like a mad people getting through the south, and then back to Goa for Rumina (Chilean girl from Rishikesh) birthday for 4-5 days before we go back to Bombay where Tricia leaves from.

I am doing well. I think I am directing my madness to the right people - rickshaw and taxi drivers. I am also sitting more comfortably in the craziness, the smells, the noize and the madness. I do like quieter India, and I am also glad Bombay exhists I loved it there. It was a great urban experince. I think it was the metered taxis that made the difference. I didn't have to haggle, I could just get on the cab and tell them to turn the meter on.

That's it for now. Sorry if this wasn't not REALLY INTERESTING, but I am resting a little with Tricia here. She is telling you the details, which gives me a little time to rest. Hehe.

A month from tomorrow Drew arrives, and I will get to see Sarita and Eddie. I am so excited about that as well. Yet, I know a whole lifetime will pass before that day. It's funny, every day here is so intensily full. I have been here for 40+ days, and at the same time it feels like I have been here for a year.

Kisses to all,

Julio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

KUSHAL (His First Entry...)

2005-11-10T03:24:00.000-11:00

the first time i saw julio at the osho meditation resort i was shocked to see that he looked just like me... the same color skin,the same eyes,the same hair color n style,the same strong jawline,the beautiful long neck, the identical toned up near-perfect physique,the voice,the stance,the graceful yet strong movement and strangely he was wearing the exact same outfit that i was...a beautiful silk maroon robe.i couldn't believe it...
ofcourse it was much later that i realised that he was just another fan pulling off another one of those attention seeking stunts... so i said it was no point avoiding him, i just spoke to him and thats how he met me...

and now for the real thing...

ive never met a more energetic,fun loving,honest,genuine,kind and golden hearted man like julio.he lightens up the dullest of places and the dullest of people...and ive experienced that with him.no matter what mood im in, he just would shake u up with his histronics and his energy and make u believe that hey!! this is one life and u gotta enjoy it, not just sit there sad and let it pass by u.

i admire the cause that he works for,the reason for his travels and his amazing ability to win people over just by completely being himself... i don't think he needs an osho to convince him to do that...if at all, he could teach the great osho a thing or two.

it was a great experience meeting him although it was a quite a short time we spent together but in this case, time really never got the better of us...all 4 of us enjoyed so much and i really feel that after so many years i took the first step to go to a place like the 'OMR' and this was the reason...not some old bearded man in a diamond cap and a gold robe telling me what to do...but infact it was to meet julio and atimati, two friends for life.i hope they feel the same 2..

all in all, i felt so much positive energy around me when sammy,julio and atimati were together and thats what its all about.spending time with people who dont judge u for what u are or what u do, but just enjoy being with u as long as u do 2.

i have to sign off now as my agents and producers have been waiting for hours outside my mansion but i will be back updating more on the lifestyles of the rich, famous and the bollywood stars...

love
kosho

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

TRICIA (Her First Entry)

2005-11-10T03:23:00.000-11:00

Tricia arrived last night, a little tired, a lot excited, and we already spent
a day in the great INDIA. I am so excited to have her her to myself for so
many days. We are off to Goa tonight in an overnight, sleeper bus.

Here is her entry of her first day...

Dear all,

I haven't yet been in Mumbai twenty-four hours, so count all yourselves lucky that I'm managing through my jet lag to send you this.

Note: This list may include several people who might be surprised to learn that I have arrived in India at all. It was less than three weeks ago that I decided to drop everything, face my fears and join one of my dearest friends during his travels in south India.

My plane arrived in Mumbai at 11:40ish at night. I quickly got through customs, waited a while for my bag (thank you Yolanda--I fit everything in there, it comes in at slightly less than 20 lbs, a weight I'm sure I'll grow more and more accustomed to), and went through several security scans to find a huge crowd of people standing outside the airport (all men, I think) waiting for arrivals. There among them was one who stood out, literally. Standing a foor taller than most Indians, and waving his arms, Julio was hard to miss. I wish I had a picture: kind of a where's waldo scene except in this case waldo's trying to be noticed. Julio had arranged a taxi to take us to the Salvation Army. This took what sounds like several days of bargaining with local taxi drivers until he found one willing to drive to the airport, wait for us to walk back to him (for some reason he's not licensed/allowed to enter the airport where the rest of the cabs were, so we walked to where he was waiting by a "tea shop") all for a third of the original price for a ride to the airport. (I never saw a tea shop, maybe it comes during the day only?) After a harrowing taxi ride, dodging other cars, trucks, dogs, people and cattle, and about an hour we arrived at the hostel. Remember this is now about 1:00am, on the 9th. I left on the 7th. I'm still very confused about where the time went. We showered and then went to bed around 2:00, 2:30 maybe?

In all my anticipation, excitement and confusion about the proper time, I didn't really sleep much last night. We kind of slowly got up and got organized, which mostly consisted of unpacking and repacking to get ready for the night bus we're taking to Goa tonight. It's a sleeper bus. how creative, how restful (?). I'll let you know how that goes... So this morning we went to a chain coffee bar for some pretty yummy cappucino and an almond raisin muffin (yellow raisins, so they blended in pretty well, honey: eek!). I know, not very Indian, but Julio was determined to ease me into this experience. We did some talking about how to plan the month I'm here, the places we want to go to, how to get there... It's an absolutely amazing experience to be here with Julio, doing this. For all of you who have kept up with his blog like I have, now I'm IN it, the IT that he's been describing so exquisitely and genuinely over the last 40+ days. Can you imagine?

Then we took a cab to meet some of Julio's Osho friends at a bookshop remarkably like a Border's or Barnes and Noble. They are lovely people. We had lunch and then parted ways. One, Sammy, lives in Mumbai, teaching yoga and doing massage. The other, Etimati (sp?), an Australian, is going back to Pune, to the crazy Osho place. After that, Julio and I walked around the city for a while, looking for a deal on a memory card for his new camera (which he seems happy with, though we had a laugh when, on the second picture, the little tiny thing slipped out of his hands and hit the table: an inevitable event when it comes to new things, don't you think?). After lots of inspired bargaining with lots of stand-owners, he did get a pretty good deal. I took a picture of Julio aand the shop owner who promised not to argue if Julio has to come back under the "limited" warranty sold with the memory card.

The city is very dusty and smoggy, and there are so many things going on at once, between the traffic (the daytime busy-ness put what I saw last night to shame: more cars, more bicycles, more motorcycles, and many more people, more more more!), the buildings, the constant honking, the shops, the people, that it's hard to know what to look at, and where to walk. It seems like when there is a sidewalk, it has a ditch winding through the middle of it, causing pedestrians to constantly step back and forth over the rut to maneuver around people and the constantly shifting places for feet.

We went to Haji Ali's mosque and the Mahalaxmi temple, being stared at all the way. People seem to be intrigued by me, possibly as much as I am by them. One man asked Julio if he could pose for a picture with me. Julio would not allow it until the man asked me directly if I was willing to stand next to him in a photo (taken with our camera, so this man will never see it). He finally understand what Julio was demanding, he asked me, I said ok, and then I looked up and a crowd of thirty men were standing there. Another what we're calling Sharon Stone moments happened later when somebody just stepped into the photo, holding his child, smiling.

Love to you all,
Tricia

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

A-tomato, Atimati, Sammy the Supergirl, and Bollywood's Own Kosho

2005-11-09T00:39:00.000-11:00

In many ways this is an open letter of love...to new friends.

I believe in destiny. I believe that things happen for a reason. I believe in karma, and I believe in past lives. I have always believed these things, and I am always glad when experiences remind me they are probably true. Meeting the OSHO pod has been one of those times.

There are other people that have come in my life like these three individuals - Terry Wooten, Salvador Vidal Ortiz, Damiana Sampaio, Miles, Anston, and others. These are people that, really, for no real rhyme or reason we just "saw" each other and most of them continue to be a significant part of my life. Others I have not spoken to in months, but they are in my heart, deeply. That's how I feel about the OSHO pod.

Sammy has a way of making the world both a more beautiful and more loving place. She wears her emotions in her beautiful face and that makes her purity come through so candidly. Her giggles are infectious, she is a great dancer, a riot to be around, and she is a fabulous yoga instructor.

Kushal is, well, simply lovely. (Secretly, he is pretty amazing, but I don't want his head to get bigger). His on-screen charisma is just as evident in person. He leads in very delicant and confident way and his the charm of gentleman. Yet, he, like all three of us, is a kid at heart and loves a crazy breathing exercise and dance. And, his metrosexuality goes beyond asthetics and runs deeper into his politics and openess to others, a refreshing thing relative to the other Indian men I have come across.

Atimati is the person I spent time with the most - about 10 days - and she is simply a jewel. She is in an amazing place in her life. After a few intensily crazy years of professional work she gave it all up to be an astrologer (who does NOT predict the future), and is not taking them time and energy we all need to be with the flow of the world, instead of trying to drive it. She eminates an amazingly open, loving and yet imperfect energy that allows those of us around her to be ourselves without pretense.

Together these three folks, along with my energy, created an amazing space in which we could dance, play, and simply let ourselves go into ourselves. For this, I hope all of us will in some way be able to stay connected with each other. Their space in my heart is already theirs and I hope our lives allows these spaces to be shared more in he future.

I wanted to publicly thank them for being so naturally fabulous, for opening their hearts up to each other and me, and for their willingness to accept my wonderful craziness as well.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

OSHO Closing

2005-11-09T00:32:00.000-11:00

It's been a few days since I left OSHO now. I have been in Bombay waiting for Tricia who is now sitting beside me on a computer. YEAH!

The last couple of days a OSHO were great. Thankfully Sammy decided to stay longer and we got a chance to do some more breathing and crazy dancing. She then left on Friday and Atimati and I stayed until Sunday to dance some more and to meditate. It was nice as I got a groove going on letting go of my class analysis and focus on what the meditation techniques had to offer. And yes, the pool made the experience better too.

The best part about OSHO was laughing meditation (LM), an unforgettable experience which I wish all of you could have been there for. As it was, Atimati and I had a blast. It is important to remember that all that Sammy, Kushal, Atimati and I did for several days was laugh. We kind of became the laughing pod at OSHO. At one point we would laugh and a table beside us would imitate or join in. It was truly infectious. So, going to LM was natural, or so we thought. The instructor asked all 100+ of us to join her for directions. She started and immediately Atimati and I started laughing non-stop. The instructor laughed too and explained that she was happy we were ready. As she went through instructions, we laughed.

The instructions or laugther meditation are:
A) 30 minutes of non-stop laughter. The laughter should come from inside, but you can sometimes look at other people.
B) 15 minutes of lying flat on the floor, face down, and feeling the power of the earth (or of OSHO's marble floor).
c) 15 minutes of free flow - yes - dancing. This was done to keltic music. Odd, but cool.

She said go and we were off. Atimati and I were naturally laughing, and thinking - what the hell are we doing? We laughed so hard we could not stand up. At one point I bowed down because my stomach was hurting and banged my head on the marble floor. It hurt, but I could do nothing but laugh, and Atimati pointed and laughed at me. Then, she kept trying to get herself up against the wall, but never succeeded, a fact that made me laugh a lot. Finally, we could not stop laughing at the man who laughed and massaged his jaw at the same time because it hurt, the usually quiet man who laughed and jumped up and down while his belly wen boing, boing and he let out girly yeps, yeps, or the many people who were seemingly calm when we saw them on the grounds of OSHO and were now loosing it. It was great, great medicine.

After a few more dance mediations and a dance party and a farewell world dance event Atimati and I packed up and left for Mumbai to celebrate Sammy's birthday. This was Atimati's first India outing (she went from the airport to OSHO) and a wonderful time to witness her discoveries of the crazy and wonderful India.

In the end I truly enjoyed my time at OSHO. Again, I stopped the chatter in my head and just took part in the things that made me happy, that made me feel like I was generating my energies. I still think he is a capitalist and have hundreds of objections to the way the center is administered, and westernization, etc, but some battles I want to use my energies for and others I need to let go of, for a great good, that good, being my own.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

PHOTOS: Himalays - SET #1

2005-11-04T01:13:00.000-11:00

Dear all,

Thanks to MINDY!!!! below is the link to the FIRST set of photos I took in India. It is of my travels to the Himalays with 9 Indian families for a total of 26 of us in a bus. Please read the Char Dham entry for the narrative behind the pictures.

Enjoy it, and don't forget that you can select the NO SIGN IN option when you reach the kodakgallery site. The link below should get you there, or simply cut and paste it into your browser.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=1i2bgirz.5q2u0e33&x=0&y=flc4w5

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

PHOTOS: RISHIKESH, Set #2...FINALLY

2005-11-03T04:04:00.000-11:00

AS you know the photo thing has been hell. This is SET #2. Mindy and I are still working on SET #1. I will try to get it to you by the weekend. Still, I wanted to send you something, anything. So, here are 20+ pixs of Rishikesh, the main experience after the Himalayas. If you need a reminder, do a quick read of the blog entry. Otherwise, enjoy the photos.

NOTE: There is a link at the bottom right where you DON'T HAVE TO SIGN IN or REGISTER. Choose that one if you don't want to bother.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=1i2bgirz.b9zymj1r&x=0&y=mtihu9

Kisses,

Julio

Diary Entry - At End of October

2005-11-03T03:25:00.000-11:00

Under the Bodhi Tree - The Place Where Sidhartha Reached Enlightment - Bodhgaya, India, 2005

It is my 28th day in India. The 28th day of my round the global south trip. The 28th day of what feels like a new phase of my life, a life which is total has already been a powerful journey with much sadness and thankfully much more happiness.

Being here, in the world, differently (open to learning), has already started to remind me of the self that I am, of the person I love and respect, and of the person I know I must be more patient with, more kind to, more loving towards.

Witnessing myself in India has helped me remember so much. My ability to go with life, to be taken by new experiences, fearlessly. It has reminded me that I am a careful person, that I am a intuitively loving at first, but that in many ways as each day passes I try to be aware, albeit not too intensily, about what moves me and what I need to be more attentive to. This has allowed me to see that I try to make up for my shortcomings and that at the same time I am intensily candid with who I am, who I was, and who I want to be. Life for everyone, it is a complex balance, which I wish to negotiate differently the more I live.

As I meet people who are culturally different than my Brazilian Americanized self, people from Poland, the UK, Japan, Tibet and of course Indians, it becomes clearer and clearer to me that I am not them, and my uniqueness becomes more evident. Simple, yes. Yet, this simplicity is confusing after living for in a culture that struggles to be so totally the same, and yet unique at the same time. SImultaneously, I realize that I am exactly as everyone I meet. I feel hungry, cold, sad, glad, and I need shelter and friends and family. I need to laugh like them, and cry when I cry.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Diary Entry 10-21-2005

2005-11-03T03:24:00.000-11:00

NOTE: My real diary has been the blog. Going to the computer often allows me to tell you what is happening, but also creates a log for me. I can go back and read over things myself, and of course, once I am back home I will put it all in a file called - THAT CRAZY 1.5 YEARS. Still when there is not internet, in my room at night, I get a chance to write a little on the beautiful diary John, Sidney and Aidan gave me.

I am in a good place. And, India has really been getting to me lately. I swear I am in the crisis/confusion/anxiety phase hopefully moving into the adjustment phase because things are madnening all of the time and I am trying to accept them. It's a bit incredible, all of it really. There is not let down of intensity here. Under so much suppression of sensuality, romance, etc, is an India altogether exploding with energy. The desires are intense and the way people live in this country mind boggling. I think I found a land crazier than my own Brazil. I think I found a land where in many ways I must suspend all disbelief and give into the greater power that is India.

India moves at its own pace and more and more I realize that we, the foreigners, are changing the story line, but not the greater narrative. These are people that survived hundreds and hundreds of years of change, thousands. A people that know inequality and have both deeply accepted it in the name of greater power and rejected it in the name of progress. They also survived the west - the French, the Portuguese and most evidently, the British. India is anything but weak. In fact, its edges are hard enough to break anything that stands too firmly against it. India stands with arms akimbo only moving when it wants - gladly for us from the outside - often moving it to place its hands in prayer and to say "Namaste" a word that poetically signifies hello/welcome and goodbye/farewell.

India is India and I am so glad it has allowed me in and in many ways sucked me into its beautiful vortex.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

OSHO (Day 2-3)

2005-11-02T18:28:00.000-11:00

I am so tired. Everything I have chosen to do has one of 10 aspects of dancing or violently moving ones body. This morning I was up at 5:30am for DYNAMIC MEDITATION, a process that changes every 12 minutes from violent body shaking and crazy power breathing, to scream therapy, to jumping up and down while landing on your heels and saying who, who, who, to standing still, to dancing for an total of an hour. By 7am I was drenched is sweat and TOTALLY AWAKE. This followed last night's DANCE PARTY with trans and other types of music. And, I need to write this email quickly so that I can make it to WORLD DANCE from 11-12pm, a daily dance meditation exercise. I will also do some silent meditation today. I think.

The last two days have been an absolute blast, and I can tell you, as I have told you before, that once again, the people have made it so. The four of us - Etimati, Samantha and Kushal have done everything together. Whirling, dancing, breathing, and more dancing and laughing, laughing and laughing. I have laughed so much the last two days. Between Samantha's wonderfully authentic giggle about everything, the beautiful contradictions of Kushal's humble personality coupled with his star moments, and Etimati's endless energy and amazingly intense sense of place and humor I have just had a dandy time.

Oh yes, last night we did the White Robe Ceremony (the one with the Osho's digital head) and we screamed KUSHAL, KUSHAL, JULIO too. It was a riot and we nearly got kicked out of the hall since we also did group aerobics, which is big no no. It was a blast and was only topped by our entrance into the dance floor where everyone was transing. We were like, trans, move over, style and grace are walking in. We salsaed (there was a latin song on) in and had blast.

We also made a movie and took lots of fun pictures. Kushal, who is Kushal Panjabi, in case you want to look him up (http://web.mid-day.com/hitlist/2005/april/107336.htm), should send it to us soon. We are all going to Bombay on Sunday to celebrate Sammy's birthday and dance our butts off some more.

Ok, that's it for now. Nicole, are you getting a taste of this?

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

OSHO Resort - Part I

2005-11-02T01:44:00.000-11:00

Leaving Bombay:
Two days ago I departed Bombay east to Pune where the famous OSHO retreat center is located. As my departures and arrivals have proved, they are always full of experiences. I said good-bye to the "girls" the Polish Girls, Edyta and Magda and went to the train station. It was sad to say good-bye to them. I had a great time as both of them are differently wonderful. Who knows they may come to Brazil next year.

I arrived at the train station and quickly discovered that no trains were available right away and that I would have to wait for several hours. After a good tip for a man who was helping some wealthier travelers I rushed downstairs to have my first LOCAL train experience. I was to go to Dadar where I would catch a bus to Pune. First I could not find the local ticket seller, when I did he spoke no English. So I heard a guy say Dadar, give the attendant R10 and did the same. Then, I ran after the guy and followed him throughout the station. He hoped on a train, and I hoped on a train. The train was surprisingly nice since it was not rush hour when people apparently hang out the window and such. I decided to stand next to the door just in case I saw Dadar and had to jump out. A few stops passed the train started to fill up. In India, like nowhere I have been, the concept of WAIT FOR PEOPLE TO GET OFF, then GET ON is TOTALLY LOST. So, this amounts to a mad rush of pushing and pulling and bumping and a great hope that you will get out in time (15 secs). I watched this carefully and realized that no man, woman or child was safe. And, I added, no foreigner either. I knew my station was coming up so I prepared myself. Got pack on, put day bag in front of me, tightened everything and man, the minute that door swang open I just started banging people with my bag from side to side and people came in and other grabbed on to me and I rushed out and people were all over and voila - OUTSIDE! There, my local train experience.

I also knew from VAST EXPERIENCE that I would arrive at the train station and the richshaw vultures would come for me. I got ready. As I walked down the stairs I could see them all salivating. So, mid-way down I started to run (with the pack gravity has a way of making it impossible to stop) and I just ran and as they started to come at me I yelled OUT OF THE WAY and broke through them and ran out on the street. Some ran after me and I stopped them and said, OK, OK ONE QUESTION FIRST! WHERE IS THE BUS STATION. They all pointed down the street. I said SHUKRIA (TY) and started running through the streets flailing my arms up like a crazy man screaming, NO RICKSHAW SHUKRIA, NO RICKSHAW SHUKRIA. This went on for two blocks as other rickshaw and taxi drivers joined in running after me yelling - PUNE? PUNE? PUNE? wanting to offer to drive me there for R750. I laughed so hard I nearly hyperventilated. I got to the bus station/stop and after receiving India information I waited for the Deluxe bus to arrive. India information? That means one person told me the bus was coming at 1:45, the other said 2pm, the other said they had no tickets to sell, the other said the bus had 10 seats and the other said the bus was empty. Oh yes, these were all uniformed men. I got on the NICEST BUS I HAVE EVER BEEN IN IN INDIA. It was brand new and so clean and the plastic was still on the seats, and this is India, so no one dared to take the plastic out. It was lovely. I tried to take a picture of me on the bus, in peace to show you, but when I took out my camera a nice man came to sit beside me and we talked for an hour until Pune.

OSHO:
I am here because I am curious, and I am here so that I can tell Nicole (and all of you) about this place. A little background. OSHO is the bad boy of meditation. In the 80's he moved to the US and started an ashram in Oregon. The ashram had thousands of people who turned what had been a dead town into an oasis. But, the US government and others were reluctant about it (like WACO) and deported him back to India. He is also a bad boy because he (like Bikram of the yoga I do) melts the east and west. That means that he, like Bikram, has a rolls royce collection, used to wear on only diamonds and lived lavishly. He is dead now, but his followers (mostly Westerners) continue to live the dream, however deferred.

The OSHO ashram is like THE ISLAND if you saw that awful movie. The basics:
To get in you need to get an AIDS test. In the 80s they had a tantric problem and now this is required. To get in you need R1250. To get in you need a maroon robe for the day and a white robe for the night when you meditate and listen to OSHO (ON SCREEN!) and got to the Center OSHO AUDITORIUM. To stay in you need to pay about R500 a day. OK, I am here for 6 days and I will have spent R5000 by the time I am done. This does not include lodging. Yes, my daily average has jumped from R700 to R1400. So, YES NICOLE, YOU CAN CERTAINLY HELP ME PAY FOR THIS ANTRHOPOLOGICAL EXPERIENCE. Ok, several massages will do. hehe.

So, why am I here? Several reasons.
-Pune is a nice little town in which to wait for Tricia.
-The Center has recently changed its name to Resort and has a beautiful pool, sauna and great organic foods and a cappucino bar.
-The meditations include dancing and I have needed to move my body. I have done so much my body hurts, but it's good.
-The Resort is QUIET AND CLEAN two things the India I have been traveling in does not offer.
-I totally feel like I am in the twilight zone and in some odd way it is nice. I don't feel I am in India or anywhere else really. I don't even feel I am at the OSHO since I am totally not in the place to listen to or have a guru. So, I enjoy my (mostly) anonymity as just another person in a maroon robe.

One of the really cool things that happened is that in the orientation which takes several hours and includes them telling you how you should serve yourself at the cafe and that you can only use the pool with maroon swimwear and that you must use maroon outfit for Zennis (zen tennis) I met Etimati, Kushal and Samantha. Etimati is a wonderful woman from Australia whose life consisted of planning conference for years but who has left it all to become and astrologer, Samantha is Indian and a massage therapist and choreographer, and Kushal is a famous Bollywood movie and Indian TV star who is currently in the cover of a magazine in India. The four of us are crazy. We do meditations together, "world dance" together, eat together and we laugh a hell of a lot at about everything. We both love and laugh at what the hell we are doing. So, what are we doing?

Many of the OSHO Resort meditations are based on movement. They require that you breath madly and blow air (and snot) out of your nose, shake violently and then stand absolutely still for 15 plus minutes. They also have dersvish spinning which is a supphi (sp) meditation where you spin for 30 minutes non-stop (I nearly puked my guts out after 10 minutes), dancing meditation, and many many other things, including quiet sitting meditation. I have only tried a few, tomorrow I will be up at 5:30 for the 6am DYNAMIC MEDITATION. Oh yes, for a description of all got to www.osho.com (of course).

The place has bout 1,000 people, mostly Europeans, Americans, Australians (read, a lot of white people) and then lots of Japanese and middle-upper income Indians. A lot of the people are Oshoites. They come here every year, the follow all of his teachings, they buy all his books, they OSHO OSHO OSHO, but nobody is converting anybody. They just "model" they don't recruit. Well, not yet anyways. The highlight of the day is the Evening Meditation. This is the only required meditation if you are at the resort. For it you must buy a separate white robe.

At 6:45pm everyone congretates at the OSHO auditorium, a pyramid building that looks like a mini-Las Vegas Luxor with black reflective windows and all. The floor is marble and the AC is pumping. At 6:45 a live band comes on and plays "meditative trans music." All 1000 of us dance - translike - to the sounds of the band, then when the music crescendos, people start to go crazy (like feeling the spirit stuff) and crazier and crazier and then there is a big drum beat and people throw their arms in the air and scream intensily OSHO!!! This dance is about 20-30 minutes and this moment happens two single times - OSHO! and OSHO! and ends with an overly excited, three times OSHO!OSHO!OSHO! And then, in quite an amazing fashion the room goes COMPLETELY SILENT and everyone sits down.

Osho comes on a big screen and for the next 1hour he does a talk, which was, of course, recorded before his death, just in case a lot of money could be made. He teaches us all about life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness from a throne (literally) in a beatiful outfit, with a diamond watch and huge, beautiful sunglasses. He is really funny actually and ends the talk with jokes. I can totally see why people love him, he is greagarious, charming and magnetic. After his talk we meditate for 5 minutes and then suddenly, in unison everyone starts to talk gibresh (sp). Yes, I said that, gibresh. People scream sounds and words that no one can understand and go crazy for about 5 minutes and then again, in an amazing fashion everyone falls silent. We meditate for a few more minutes, then do meditation where we imagine being dead and then it ends.

How do I feel about all of this? Honestly, I have been to many crazy things - 10 day silent retreats, retreats to get in touch with my inner child, places where I imitated monkeys, slep with stuffed animals and wrote letters to myself. So, I cannot judge. We each find our path. But, today, here, I am not open to any of this. I am open to learning new meditation techniques, to meeting interesting people and to laying in the pool or strolling in the amazing garden, but not to OSHO. I am not in place in my life where a guy who wore diamonds and collected rolls royces can teach me about buddhism. Buddha gave it all up. Osho and Bikram build their empires. I also don't blame them. Capitalism is what we make of it and we (including me) participate. So, he is smart.

Last night the main point of this talk (I think) was that the student is ready to "see" when s/he is ready to see. At that point s/he will find their guru. I am not sure he is right, but if he is that is exactly what is happening with me right now. Osho, or the Swami I listened to in Rishikesh, or any other messengers I have read are not satisfying me. Maybe someday, but for now I am in good place seeing things for myself. I am looking for authenticity, and even though I believe it may be gone (from religion and other such things), I would still like to feel it in my heart.

Finally, in case you wondered I could not shout OSHO, OSHO, OSHO. So, when that moment happened I shouted the first thing that came to mind - GARFIELD! GARFIELD! GARFIELD! Even funnier is Kushal who thought you were supposed to shout your name and so he did, the second time the thought, OH MY G-D, is everyone shouting my name? Yes, Bollywood and Hollywood stars are all the same. Still, tonight the four of us decided we will shout - KUSHAL, KUSHAL, KUSHAL.

Ok, 6:12pm, gotta get out of my maroon robe and put on my white one. Kisses to all.

Julio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Safe in India

2005-10-30T17:59:00.000-11:00

Dear all,

I know all of you know I am im Mumbai, but I just wanted to make extra sure that you know I am safe. The security in major cities, like Mumbai, has increased at transportation and tourist sites. The media talk about Delhi like Bush. "This is a tragedy, but the shops are open again and we need to celebrate Divali (sp), the Hindu new year." Otherwise they cannot share any of the investigations currently happening.

I also wanted to let you know that I will leave Mumbai today. I was already planning on going to Pune, a smaller town, but I am even more resolved now. I think it will be a safer idea to be in Pune from the 1-5 of November just in case more attacks occur, which is likely since Divali is on the 1 or 2nd. In any event, here is my schedule, just in case.

Today (31) leave on a 3 hour train to Pune. In Pune 1-5 (or 6), back to Mumbai on the 7th for Tricia's arrival on the 8th.

Lots of hugs to all,

Julio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Bombay-Mumbai Part I

2005-10-28T17:41:00.000-11:00

In arrived in Bombay at noon and after being followed by many cab drivers at the train station a nice man suggested I go outside of the station and grab a cab. The following was kind of fun though since I decided to walk all around the station with quick turns and such and I drove the drivers totally crazy. Anyhoo, after being told a ride would cost R100, the R80, then R70, then R50 a nice guy stopped me on the street and insisted he call the place I was staying to make sure of the address, then got a R40 price for me. Still, I yelled at the driver and told him R35 was final. He mostly agreed. This means he said yes and then for the 15 minute ride he told me a thousand reasons I had to pay him R40. I arrive at the Salvation Army Hostel, handed him R35 and told him it was good karma for him to be nice to a tourist.

The Salvation Army is my first experience with a dormitory. This means there are about 25 of us in a rather smallish space with lots of bunk beds. I was weirded out at first, safety, cleanliness, etc, but after meeting couple of folks I have to say, I settled into it nicely. I cover my bed with a large silk sheet I got, cover my pillow with my jacket and I managed to find a hidden bathroom (shared bathrooms) in the back of the hostel. My valuables go in a locker and my backpack stays out all day. I feel this intense sense of trust among the other travelers and our collective respect for each others things and so I am happy. Oh yes, why here? Bombay is like LA. While I paid R150-250 in most places, here I would pay R600-800 for a single room with bathroom. The SArmy costs R150.

I spent my first day walking around and made the silly decision to buy a LonelyPlanet suggested map of R250. It is so detailed and I have not used it once. It will be a nice present when I leave. I also found BARISTA, India's Starbucks (the other is Coffee Day, which I detested). I love Barista and they make a mean double latte. I think of Nicole every time they give it to me. Nicole makes the best lattes in the world. The Italianist in her works its way every time! Now, a double latte is a must in the mornings and afternoons. And yes, I am starting to get back that HORRIBLE - NEED CAFFEINE feeling. This will change since I will go to smaller places once Tricia arrives. BUT TRICIA, we will first have a yummy latte on the 9th.

This day also marked the first time I had alcohol in India. After a very hot day, and meeting up with Kim, an Aussie I ended up at a restaurant ordering pitcher of beer and eating a mutton club sandwich and fries. Could I be more American? The beer sucked, but the idea of having the beer was great.

The first day was also when I was *spotted*! Ok, so men stand on the streets of Colaba and Fort (where tourists stay) and ask us if we want to be extras in Bollywood movies. It is neat. The deal is that you work from 8am - 11pm, get free food, and get R500. But, you do it for the experience and a potential spot, of course.

For those of you not familiar with India cinema, the industry is famous for Hindi Movies which are usually 2-3-4 hour extravaganzas that consists of a mostly simple story line with a twist. The twist? Every time the movie comes to some sort of significant turning point the actors and the cast break into songs and dances. It is not the usual musical, it's really kinda of magical. Think of THE HOURS, and then suddenly the four main characters starting a dance number while the cast follows with simple moves behind. It's more like that. Sometimes, if the movie is good, or the dance number is good, then it gets put on MTV India. The scene we were shooting (I think) was the final dance number of "Neal & Nicky" and it was set in a barn since the movie is set in Canada. Lots of hay, (Yes, Drew I kept thinking - ROLL in the HAY, ROLL in the HAY - ok people, I a not writing suggestively to Drew in public. I am referring to a funny scene in Young Frankenstein (sp)).

The day was filled with boring moments of waiting for different angles of the shots, lots of hunger and the meals kept getting pushed back and totally tacky outfits. Perfect, as expected. I brought a book so when I was not talking to others I was reading, which was actually nice. This experience also made many of us travelers bond since 20 of us lived through this experience.

As with anything, the best part of the day was when 4 us said, F%$K it, let make this our best B-wood experience ever. This meant every time the music went on we lost ourselves. We danced so crazy people starting laughing, watching and joining in. It was blast and ended at 10pm, getting us back to our place at about 11:15pm.

Yesterday I spent the day with the wonderful Polish girls who arrives back from Kolkata. We did a walking tour, shopped some, and complained about our collective diarrhea (sp). Not the end of the world, don't worry.

The girls are doing the B-wood thing today so I am just taking it easy since my life will really pick up when Tricia gets here. I am going to read some, have a latte, and just be in this mad, mad India.

Julio - all caught up - Dantas

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

BODHGAYA

2005-10-27T19:32:00.000-11:00

BODHGAYA

(NOTE: Sorry for not spelling everything correctly. For instance, promise instead of promisse in the previous entry.)

Bodhgaya is the place where Sidhartha reached enlightment under the Bhodi tree. It is a magical place, a place where Buddhists from all over the world come every year on pilgrimages. It is where the Dali Lama spends December and January. It is where the air blows a little ligther, the people move a little slower, but the sellers still remain strong, loud and often obnoxious (sp).

As previously mentioned, I went there randomly. I left Varanasi with the girls and got on a night train which was to leave at 6pm and left at about 10pm. I chose sleeper class again. This is the class where there are 8 berths (beds that detach from the wall in a boat or train) in a very small, enclosed space. It is where India travels. It is not the unreserved class as seen in The Amazing Grace or crazy movies with thousands of Indians hanging out the window, but it is the next class up, not too far up. And again, it was an experience. The process is that I get in the car and everyone, everyones stairs. I can see that they are asking - what is he doing here? He is a foreigner, why isn't her in 3AC or 2AC, the higher classes respectively? But, I got from Varanasi to Gaya on sleeper for about R200, in AC it would have been about R800. Still $15-20 you say, but when your daily budget is $25 it makes a huge difference.

Anyhoo, I found my seat and while the 12 people around me stared at me closing my bag, locking it, etc, I said a loud NAMASKAAR!!! They were startled at my saying Hello in Hindi and all nodded and said hello or namaskaar. I then asked how they were doing and for the next 4 hours we talked. It is always a crazy case of broken English, India English, loud train noises and lots of people coming around. At one piont there were about 30 people looking on, asking question, wanting to see my watch or something. It is a tough game of being kind, looking out for your stuff and giving someone attention while trying to figure out what they are saying.

I was tired, but the experience included:
--good conversation about NGOs with lots of names of people I should contact. None are actually useful to me as none are about trafficking, but I was very thankful, wrote them all down and smiled.
--the boy who asked his mom to put a bandana on his head like me. It was funny and we took pictures together.
--the boy (18) who was furious that I did not know one of India's prime freedom fighters who fought against the British. He said, HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW! YOU MUST KNOW! YOU CANNOT KNOW INDIA IF YOU DO NOT KNOW THIS STORY! I laughed and told him to teach me. He said he would send me things. He took down my email and my phone number. He has since SMSed (Instant Phone Message) me to tell me he would send things. He had one BIG FAULT. He loved Argentina's Maradona, so we fought a lot about good and bad soccer. It was fun.

My most Indian moment in the ride was after their dinner. Everyone asked me if I was going to eat. I said I already had, but that a sweet would make all the difference in the word. A barfi - condensed milk based sweet would make me so happy. LESSON: One should be careful what one asks for in the presence of an Indian family. One of the fathers made his son pull out their bag, looked all through it for a beatiful cardboard box from which he produced two barfies. Now, it was obvious from the wrapping that this was a special treat for the family. They probably picked it up in Varanasi and where taking it home to Kolkata, but still. He unwrapped the box and gave me the sweets. This for me, is India, this is the India I have chosen to keep in my heart every day, especially the days where I want to strangle rickshaw men.

We arrived at about 2am and completed the amazing feat of getting a rickshaw for 5 people for R100 for 14KM. It was hell, but well done. Unfortunately our driver was not so smart (or maybe too smart) and claimed not to know where the monestary we were staying at was. Instead he brought us to a hotel, which he would certainly receive a comission for. Her refused to take us. But, since in India you simply don't pay until you arrive, he had to fight with us, at 2am, until we showed him the way.

We arrived at the monastary and one of my funniest India experiences happened. Edyta is this short and powerful Polish woman (I am attracted to women like this - Nicole, Tricia, Tonja, etc). The monastery was TOTALLY LOCKED DOWN. So, after the rickshaw driver and yelled some, and we called for someone we saw a man put his pants on and come real slowly to our rescue. We looked at Edyta and we all thought - monastary...NAMASTE.

In a beautiful move Edyta put her hands together in a prayer position, bowed her head and respectfully said NAMASTE. When the guard looked at us as if we were crazy think he would let us in she promptly made a phone gesture to her ear and yelled - WE CALLED AND THEY SAID YOU WOULD LET US IN! WE CALLED! In his daze and confusion the man let us in. GO EDYTA bringing cultures together to create change. After I had to be firm that we agreed on R150 for single room with bathroom, and argue with another sleeping man a little we got to bed, at about 3am.

The thing to do in Bodhgaya is see buddhist temples. There are about 10 of them from around the world, and each is more beautiful than the other. So, we spent most of our time going to temples. OK, that actually was the second day. The first day Edyta and Magda spent the day shopping, and shopping, and shopping. I got a scarf and sat for chai. We did get a chance to go to the major temple and see the Boddhi tree. We were there for about 2 hours and it was perfect. We got to see a tour of over 100 Chinese folks coming for their pilgrimage. The pictures will tell a better story. But, we also just set in the presence of monks, and trees, and peace.

The 2.5 days there were filled with a lot of breathing and sitting under the tree. It was wonderful. Really great. I also met up with a traveler I met 3 weeks ago in the Himalayas. These moments are cool.

The other striking thing about places in India is what we experience in Bodhgaya with the kids. The number of kids asking for money and food are incredible. They are everywhere. It's tough because we get EXTRA approached since we are tourists. Many experiences:

-Money: Everyone asks for money. Women with children, children, disabled. A lot of Indians have told me not to give money since these kids are part of a business ploy where men make them ask for money and they have to bring a certain amount in everyday. Can you say CHILD SLAVERY?

-Pen and Books: A lot of kids ask us to buy books for school and pens. They know enough tourist English to say - I WANT TO BE A DR., PLEASE BUY ME A HINDI-ENGLISH DICTIONARY. In this scheme a tourist does this and the kids then sell the item back to a store for money.

-Food. I think this is the toughest. Why not give them food? It's complex and this experience should give you a sense of why. One of our nights in Bodhgaya we did not finish our food, we asked for it to go and gave it to the two kids who had been asking us for food (for 2 hours straight). This is was good, we thought. Yes, first, IT WAS GOOD. GIVING FOOD TO HUNGRY CHILDREN IS ALWAYS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. But, the next night at dinner 5-7 children were around our table asking us for food. One of the girls we gave food to was pointing at us saying we gave her food. This happens with mother and children. You give one an apple and suddenly there are 10 mothers with sickly children around you. It is crazy. And, in some way I have not yet negotiated with myself, you tuned it out.

My next stop, Mumbai/Bombay, India's Bollywood. It was a 30-hour train ride and I shelled out R2600/over $60 and it was a wonderful ride (wonderful in India terms), quiet, mostly clean (only 2 roaches), and I slept a lot, read a lot and had really nice conversations with the one other person that was in my area.

Next up - Bombay. I am trying to catch up to the city I am in. I am currently here and will be here until the 1st of November when the girls leave, go to Pune for 4 days at the OSHO Retreat Center and then back here to wait for Tricia.

Kisses to all,

Julio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

VARANASI

2005-10-27T16:40:00.000-11:00

VARANASI

The first think to know about Varanasi is that it is one of the 7 most holy cities in India. This is the city that Indians come to to die, literally. Much of Varanasi's fame comes from the fact that bodies are cremated at the margins of the Ganga River 24 hours a day, in open air. Yes, that means that everyone can watch this very important aspect of Hindu India culture. The city itself has also become a tourist place and thus is filled with sellers and rickshaw drivers constantly on the attack.

We (the Polish women Edyta and Magda) arrived in Varanasi at 5am or so. We were all pretty tired. Someone from their hotel had come to fetch us and so the ride to the hotel was pretty harmless rickshaw wise. I checked out their hotel then went across the street to look at the one I had planned on staying at. It was a dump! So, I paid a little more and stayed at Hotel Buddha where the girls were staying. Again, definition of a good hotel includes buckets of hot water if you want hot, a few bugs, and definitely sleeping in your bed sheet.

Important in the Varanasi story is the agreement I made with the hotel representative. I was to stay there for 4 nights and the room was R300/night. In the bargaining process we agreed on R250/night and that I would pauy R300 if I stayed less. I know, bad bargaining for a traveler like me, but I live and learn. More on this later.

It was now 7am and we paid R750 for a tour of all the temples in Varanasi, visit to stores, and a boat ride on the Ganga. The boat ride is the most famous activity as the sunset and rise in Varanasi is supposed to be outstanding both because of nature and because this is the time that morning poojas (prayers) and artis (ceremonies) occur so you can get a great look from the boat. Well, it rained non-stop while we were in the city. We got on morning without rain and that was when we did our boat ride. We agreed on a tour for the next day and left the hotel for our day in Varanasi.

It was pretty crazy. We basically walked on all of the ghats. Ghats are like stairs/sidewalks in front of different important building and ashrams. The river front is separated by these as different Hindus perford different ceremonies in different ghats. Of about 25 ghats, two most important are the ones where people are cremated. So, on our walk we passed by this ghat.

I don't know if it is my own issues with death, the way in which the human body looks when it is being carried wrapped up in beautiful silks, or simply the seemingly known scientific way in which it is all done, but the whole experience was pretty outstanding. I thought I would be shocked, but instead I was really happy that people in India have such a meaningful process for their loved ones. Here are the basics...

Everyone can pay anywhere from 2000 to about 25000 to be cremated. Prices are decided based on many things, but one of the most important being the type of wood that is used for the burning. Ok, it is very scientific, I lied. Each log is carefully weighed and since they know exactly how many logs of each type of wood needed to be used for an ideal cremation, it all works out. The most prestigious logs are (shoot, I forget) hhmmm, sandle wood?

Everyone can be cremated, except - sadhus (spiritual seekers), pregnant women, children under 12, and people that have been bitten by snakes. Why snakes you say? It is from an old story where I snake bit Shiva and therefore it is pure. So the pures - sadhus, children, etc are not burned. But, what happens to them. Take a moment. Guess. Yes, they are carefully wrapped, tied to stones and thrown into the river. And, what happens then. I am happy to say that for the most part they stay there, but many bodies have floatted up and it is a difficult situation for foreigners and others when they do.

The cremation process has its own customs. The person gets brought from somewhere (not sure if it is their home) on top of a rickshaw, or a jeep or something through the crazy city traffic. They then get on a line to be cremated. One family member, usually the eldest son or another man (women stay at home weeping) is chosen to perform the ceremony. The ceremony is a series of prayers and flower throwing and sandlewood chips tossing. Perhaps the most surprising was that the rest of the men of the family sit a bit farther away and watch until the body is completely burned. All is burned, except that men's chests don't burn, and neither do women's hips. These pieces are tied by a string which the prescribed family member than swings into the river. In some cases the ashes are collected, but for the most part they are thrown into the river.

The three of us had an opportunity to watch two of these ceremonies, each time with a self-prescribed guide who immediately asked us for a donation after he finished talking. In the second case I asked the guide for a teaching. I said, we have been watching this person's death ceremony for 10 minutes and you have been trying to get us to go to a sari shop that entire time. I come from a culture where there is quite reflection in these moments. What happens in India. The family is quite, but here you are talking about consumerism. He looked at me rather blankly and said. We are not sad in India when someone dies, we celebrate, we talk. I looked around the rest of the 30 or so people, all mostly quietly. I looked at Edyta who said, WELCOME TO INDIA. I looked back at him, sighed and said, what were you saying about the saris? Oh, India.

The other great experience in Varanasi was our tour. We paid and were promissed many things, which quickly got changed to lesser items. Well, they had another thing coming if they thought Edyta and Magda and I were going to be ok with this. We all spelled out every promissed to us and our tour added up to:

-A first visit to the Ganga at 6am. It started to rain and we made them take us back to the hotel and do the Ganga the next day. This was their commitment to us. Rain = no tour.
-They took us to all the temples (only about 4). They complained that we were taking too long, but we reminded them of their promisse. They then took us to several shops, which they also looked at us disapprovingly, and we reminded them that we were at these shops because they were getting commission.
-The next day we went on our river tour and at every step, with every person, we got a long, long sob story (which I am sure was true) about how we needed to give them a big tip. We all read that in total this tour could have cost about 2/3 of what it costs and I know we all operated with this. So, in all interactions we said - talk to the hotel, they booked the tour.

Was this easy? No, but the balance between honest versus dishonest requests for money is nearly impossible in India. Somedays you give in, somedays you don't.

The other unexciting thing is that I got sick. I was tired, it was raining and overall it was just wet and cold. I managed to get some nighttime Vicks, some India medicine and drink lots of water. Other than this horrible smog cough that I still have, I was basically fine after 2-3 days.

Oh, this was also the place where I randomly decided to to go Bodhgaya with the girls. This proved to be a great change in plans. Bodhgaya was fabulous! More on it next.

And, yes, the promisse I shook on. As I was leaving the Hotel Buddha a different guy told me all of my accounts were clear. I paid R500 for two nights. In the back of my head I know I made the promisse to pay R300 a night if I were to stay less than 4 nights. I told him fine, but knew right there and then that it was the wrong thing to do. After I was thoroughly convinced by many a traveler that India has f&*$ed me over much more than R100 and that this was their fault and not mine, I just could not do it. I made a promisse, I shook on it, I had to follow through. And, I wrote a note to the hotel about my agreement, put the R100 in the envelope and will send it off today. Will it get there? I don't know. Will it go to the right person? I hope so. What I do know is that we live in a crazy world with different levels of dishonesty for different reasons and people who change their promisses when it works and does not work for them. I am not perfect in any stretch of the imagination, and I am the first one to screw capitalism in the face. But, I made promisse and I intend to keep it. Maybe my act can make it so some of these hotel folks think twice before screwing tourists on room charges and tours. Maybe...

OK, up next -
BODHGAYA where Sidhartha became enlightened.
BOMBAY where I got my break in Bollywood movie out December 9th.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Khajuraho

2005-10-23T02:21:00.000-11:00

Khajuraho

My departure from Orchha as written in my last entry was eventful. Fortunately I ended up sitting beside Kentoro (Ken), a great Japanese traveler who has been on the road for two years. He has been everywhere, and I am happy to report that Brazil was his favorite. So much so that he learned Portuguese (pretty well) so I got a chance to speak some Portuguese for a couple of days. He also really enjoyed Brazilian music. A few minutes into the ride Chez and Claire (couple from the UK) joined us on the bus and we rode together for the 6 hours it took to Khajuraho in a very tight, very hot, very dirty bus on a very, very dirty road. We did stop on the side of the road and had some great (albeit scary - stomach) food. All was fine.

One of my concerns about Khajuraho is that I was staying at a very expensive guesthouse which Uncle Arun (from Delhi) booked for me. So, I asked Ken if he wanted to stay with me. I figured if I paid so much it would make me feel better if we shared. He agreed, and while I did not ask him for any money, he insisted in paying for all of my meals while in Khajuraho. The guest house was fine and staying together gave us a chance to talk more in-depth about his trip. The long and short of it is: the world is great, people are really racist toward the Japanese, when folks see past our nationalities they really connect and that's wonderful, and you have got to keep traveling.

That night we had dinner with Chez and Claire on a tree house type thing. It was beautiful, except for the bugs that kept kamizing into my plate.

One of the toughest annoyances of Khajuraho is that tourists are deer and sellers tigers. We were followed, and I mean followed, everywhere - rickshaw? scarves? statues? tour? tour? tour? sights? internet? Every where there were people, sometimes 5-6 at a time running after us. It is so hard to be nice, say no, be nice again, and not want to strangle someone. It is also tough to enjoy a city when you can't really walk around it in a peaceful manner. When your instinct is to duck whenever someone comes at you, and they always come at you.

In Khajuraho I realized I ended my honeymoon period of travel, and entered my resentment period. There, and in Varanasi, where I went next I hated India for its tourist pounding side. Yes, I yelled at the man who grabbed me to pull me into his store, I walked trough areas without responding to anyone, and secretly I wanted to have a way to make them all disappear. But, this, this is India. It is so much part of the intensity of being here. The endless people. They are everywhere. There are 1.1 billion people here and there is never aloneness. Yes, Anston, even I want to be TOTALLY ALONE in this place sometimes. But, instead I am accepting it slowly but surely. Adjustment is the next phase after resentment and I am feeling like I will be there in a few days. Right now, in Bodhgaya I am still in transition.

Khajuraho is famous for its erotica. There are a lot of versions of the story of why its temples have people in sexual positions to make even my hair raise. Among the versions I like the a) it was a handbook for young boys, was thought to keep the temple from being struck by lightning since the appealing to the rain g-d Indra who was a keen voyeur, and that it was actually because its creators were tantric followers - gratification of the baser instincts is one way to transcend evils and achieve enlightment. Yes, the pictures are great, and yes, I will try to get them up.

My day and half there was spent touring the temples with Ken (who left mid-day) and then renting a bike in the afternoon. On the bike I was followed by many, many teenagers who wanted to give me tours of everything. I chose one boy who told me he did want any money and he showed me around his village. It was intense to see the level of poverty and especially the demarcation still present in this very old village of the different casts. As he took me around I could witness after every few turns (not blocks) that the area was getting progressive poorer. It was said and complex and so many things. I don't know what I think about poverty anymore. It is so much bigger than I could ever imagine, and yet, people keep suffering and having lots and lots and lots of babies.

My highlight in the afternoon came when a few boys starting following me and my unoffical tour guide and ask me if I wanted a tour from the instead. After much argument I told them - no tour - but I will do a bike race back into the town. It was about 2KM. I worked hard to beat them, but I happily got 2nd place out of 4. They joy in the winner's face was priceless. I told them, no tour, but I will buy everyone sodas. So, we sat in front of the bike rental shop/supermarket/knick-knack store and talked and drank sodas. It was loads of fun.

I ended the day (sunset) at a cafe with my chai and reading my THE DISCOVERY of INDIA book which has been wonderful. I went back to my room, and after 5 power outages all over town I showered, and before going to sleep the power went out and the sky fell with strong lightning, wonderful sounds and hard rain. It cooled India for an evening.

Oh yes, before leaving Ken took out a Japanese hand cloth and offered it to me as a present. He insisted I have it. It is beautiful and it was really touching. He said he really enjoyed our meeting, I agreed. We agreed there was no reason to say good-bye and that we would see each other again.

My last morning in Khajuraho was annoying as hell with internet, CD-rom and extremelly annoying purchase problems. I basically spent the morning trying to leave unsuccessfully and yelling at everyone who crossed my path. It was a bad morning.

I caught the 3pm bus to Satna - the nearest train station to go to Varanasi - with Claire, Chez, Edyta and Magda. The latter are two fabulous women from Poland who I have been traveling with for the last 5 days. I was in Varanasi with them and now I am in Bodhgaya, the site where Sidhartha became Buddha.

Will write about Varanasi and Bodhgaya next...

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

LOGISTICS

2005-10-20T02:56:00.001-11:00

I thought I would tell you about some logistics. My gear, my budget, hygiene, and those things that I live with everyday, but don't make it to the pages of stories about the life of travel.

MORNING AND NIGHT
For most of the time I have been waking up at 6:30-7am. For the last couple of days I got up at 9am. Not sure if this is a trend or what. I wash my face, and go to breakfast. Breakfast consits of chai, and usually a paratha (pancake like thing with potato and peas) that is dipped in curd. I also sometimes have puri - puffed up pancakes that are dipped in a garbanzo bean sauce. Both are very good, oily and fattening, but keep me going until about 1pm. I then go back to the room, use the bathroom (#2), which means I am back to my normal schedule. Then I get my day bag ready and to the sites. When I know I am going to leave the next day I spend the night before or the morning packing my bag. I am getting better and better.

Before going to bed I take a shower. I realized that a shower (water from above) is the thing I need. It is my THING. I can deal with different foods, the constant tourist requests, the dirt, and even the lack of toilet paper, but I NEED A SHOWER. I need to go to sleep feeling clean, not something that happened my first few days. I also use my mom's creams before going to bed. Honestly, my mother, I use them because I want them to be ligther in my bag. Love my products but more and more everyday I am learning that they are not necessary.

I also do a bug check. I check my bed for bugs, cover the pillow with my jacket (the inside part is really soft) and slip into my night sac, which I love. For the most part I have been ok at night. Only one night did the bugs really bother me.

MY STUFF
The single best thing I did before leaving the States was laser hair reduction on my face. I only shave once a week and it's GREAT!

I love my:
-bandana (covers my head, cleans my hands, wet it cools me down, ties things together)
-night sac (keep me protected and just thin enough that feels like a simple sheet in the heat)
-pants (these pants rock and the pockets are really useful.
-torch/flashlight (my little light is great for all the blackouts, for looking under the bed before I leave rooms, and when I hang it from the ceiling at black outs it lights up the whole room)
-watch (I don't have one in the States that I use. The alarm, the stop watch function, etc are all great.
-my money belt (makes me feel safe)

I need to change
-my camera (I love the zoom and the power, but I CANNOT CARRY IT ANYMORE. It is bulky, hard to instruct others to use and it makes me feel unsafe since it looks so expensive). I am working (or should I say Mindy) on changing it when Drew comes.
-jury is still out on the daybag. Some days I love it, somedays I don't.
-I have a lot of products which I may give to Drew to take back in December.

RANDOM
-I tried the bathroom without toilet paper. Interesting. I saves paper, cleans well. My only problem is putting my underwear on without drying. I am still trying to get used to it.
-I am coughing up some narly loogies (sp) because of the dust and smog I have been breathing in. I am starting to understand the Indians taht cough up a lung in the morning.
-I rip pages out of my lonely planet. Places I am for sure not vising get thrown. Pages of the places I am visiting are ripped and taken to those places. The LP stays in the room. That 1200 page is a monster.
-I look the same everyday. It makes me laugh, but is interestingly comforting. I almost bought a kurta today (long Indian blouse that men wear) but the experiencing ended up sour and I left the store unhappy. In the end, one less thing for me to carry.
-My feet are pretty gross, but stronger. I usually soak them at night and then put cream on the cracks. It helps a lot.
-I love EMERGENCEE powder and Drew must bring a whole box when he comes. It is great for hydration, and between the intense heat during the day and the necessary fan at night it keeps me from getting sick. I don't ask for AC rooms. They are cold and I would get sick.
-I love chai and I drink it a lot. I have gotten good at telling the good from the bad. I kinda of wish I hadn't and just lived in bliss.
-I am eating a lot of bread, sugar, and fried and oily things. I think I am loosing weight. I need to eat more fruits. Yes mother, more fruits. I have eaten many bananas and guavas, but I must lay off the guavas. G-d knows I eat enough things that get my stomach going.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Orchha

2005-10-20T02:56:00.000-11:00

Orchha

Overview: Orchha is a quiet town. It is tiny and was built in the 16th century by the Bundela Rajput chieftain Rudra Pratap. He thought the river that runs through it would make it a great capital. Its fame continued when Raja Bur Singh Ju Deo arrived and built a series of chhatries. The architecture is reminiscent of moore palaces Sarita and I visited in Barcelona. It is a religious site because of its Ram Raj Temple, a palace turned temple. It all came about after a dream visitation had by Lord Rama, Madhukar Shah's wife, Ganesh Kuanwari brought a statue of the g-d from Ayodhya to Orchha. It is also interesting because while the king was devoted to Lord Krishna, the queen was devoted to Lord Rama.

My perspective: It is definitely a quiet town (well, quiet for an INDIAN town) and the palace and temple are beautiful. What struck me was the sunset above the buildings, the intensity of the river, the idea that the whole town is basically built around these old and stunning buildings. Also, it was also neat to see how many Indians come to visit it because of the central temple.

I had a nice time there. The first afternoon I decided to go to the two main palaces and found myself amongst a school tour of 110 students that were all between 7-11. It was totally overwhelming as each of them wanted to say hello, ask me where I was from and talk to me to practice English. It is one of those situation where the first 15 were really cute, but then there were 95 more. I mostly walked quickly past them, only to find 12 more hidden in another corner of the palace and screaming "HELLO! HELLO SIR!" When the students were not talking to me the teachers were. They basically asked me the same questions. I had a nice time, albeit an overwhelming one too. At the end of the day I decided to run away from everything at sunset. So I went to the highest point of the palace and set there, totally alone, listening to Laurie Anderson talk about the end of the world, and watching the sun set over Orchha. I need more sunsets like those.

The I had two nite stay there so the next day I took it really easy. I visited the other sites, I walked around the bazzar, and I spend the afternoon talking to a Brazilian couple I met. They are traveling for a year together so it was nice to hear their stories and speak Portuguese. We sat at a restaurant from about 1-4 chatting. Later in the evening the electricity in the city was out (as has happened in MANY CASES on my travels) so I had dinner with a couple of Israeli women in the dark. I think I just swallowed on bug with my meal. It was fun. Since power outages are so common many shops and restaurants have a flashlight and candle system they pull out. So, unlike the NYC black out where things just fell apart (I was there) here the lights go out, folks pull out their candles and life goes on. At 8pm the town was dark, but the crowd continued on.

In Orchha I was met a three guys who invited themselves to sit with me on the bridge over the river to watch the sunset. They did not actually invite themselves, they just stood above me for about 10 minutes until I invited them. This was interesting because it allowed me to do research on the whole male bonding of India. Findings:

-Men are good friends and explore with each other sexually.
-Married men keep their tight friendship with each other.
-The only people that know about the affairs are usually the ones involved in it. Of course, none of the three talking to me ever did anything. They only knew of "friends" who did it.

I also ate a lot of sweets in Orchha and introduced many travelers to the wonders of barfi and many other milk-sugar combinations.

The departure from Orchha was commom. I got on a VikramTaxi. This is the rickshaw that is meant for 5 people and they fit 12. In my case they fit 14 people. It is always exciting, cheap and a bit painful. Upon arrival in the bus station the attendants (the same exact two people that I saw the prior day) told me completely different information. The bus was not at 11am, it was at 1pm. The bus was not government, it was private, and it was not deluxe, it was common. In my Julio voice I said firmly. "I don't care that I have to wait. I care that you could have told me this yesterday. Would that have been so hard?" In usual Indian style they just looked at me and shrugged their shoulders. And, of course, I went across the way and asked about the bus fro another person and was told that in fact it was a 11am and it was goverment deluxe. Don't be fooled by deluxe. It is only important that you know that non-deluxe is worst.

I got on the bus and met Kentoro (Ken) a cool Japanese guy who spents some time in Brasil and speaks pretty good Portuguese. He has been traveling for 2 years. And I met Phillip and Claire, a nice couple from the UK. Together we muscled through the bumpy road to Khajuraho where I am now, and where I will leave in about 2 hours to Satna (4 hr bus) to go to Varanasi (8 hr train).

Will write more about Khajuraho next time. In short, erotica on temples, literally 100 people/hr asking if you want taxi, water, shawl, food, bike, internet, anything, anything. It is totally overwhelming and quite annoying. But, I am learning to live with it more and more. The constant buzz of requests for us travelers to buy just about anything.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Rishikesh and Orchha

2005-10-15T03:01:00.000-11:00

RISHIKESH & ORCHHA
Sexual Harrassment, Wonderful Friends, and an Adventurous Departure

Current Location: Orchha, a small town a bit south of Delhi that is famous for being small and having a beautiful mahal. It is, and I have taken lots of pixs. It is nice, too many bugs, but nice. Tomorrow I will be here again, taking it easy and getting deeper into a wonderful book I was told to buy - DISCOVERING INDIA by Nehru, India's firs Prime Minister. Next day to Khajuraho to two days then Varanasi for 5 days, and then Bombay where I start my southern route for November.

I am going to do my best here. There are bugs on my screen, in my keyboard and yes, all over me.

TWo days ago I left Rishikesh (the town with all the tourist). It was a sad departure. I loved the connections I made there and the Chileans and friends made it so nice. I miss them all. As it was I stayed there three more days then I intended and it was totally worth it. The Magdas, Rumina, Francesca, Phoenix, Chanda and the other women were fabulous.

SEXUAL HARRASSMENT
In Rishikesh I witnessed the dangers of sexually suppressed India. Twelve of us went to a religious festival with about 5,000 people and after it was done we all spilled onto two streets to get out. When it dawned on the 2 men and 10 women in our group that we should have waited it was too late. We were pressed against hundreds of people whose bodies were tightly pressed against ours. Immediately we knew something was wrong and immediately we were split up. I stayed with two of the women and literally shoved men out of the way that were touching them EVERYWHERE, arms, breasts, between their legs, ass,

EVERYWHERE. One of them was right in front of me and I was able to protect her, the other was in front of her and she made it through literally hitting men in her path. She slapped the, cursed at them, hit them. But, with every one man she shoved, ten touched her. It was intense and devastating and oddly enough a cultural experience which none of the women (and I) ever want to have again. Toughest were two of the women who got split up and were on their own. Their saving grace was a shop keeper who ushered them into his shop after witness the madness that was happening to them. In the end everyone was physically fine, and it took a couple of days of meditating and yoga for us all to come down. I appreciated that no one blamed India. We were all aware of the politics of manhood/machismo and its unfortunate effects.

What is this all about?
India is an intensely sexually repressed country. Men and women do not touch in public. I am told post marriage relations are awful, and men and women just don't get along in the physical sense. Add to that the fact that historically women have lacked power and it's just bad news. Today I read in the paper that a woman was taken from her home by teenagers and rapped. Let's be clear, sexual harrassment and rape happens everywhere. I am just giving you some of what I witnessed and some of what I have learned.

Interestingly, some of what I have LOVED here is the intimacy between men. Men hold hands in public, sit on each other, touch all the time. I have loved to see it, but I also feel the undercurrent of it is also dangerous and a response to sexual repression. There is a lot of debate here. But, according to some sources who have done research on the topic and some folks I have spoken to that do sexual health work here the male relationships is a way to deal with the lack of physicality with women. For the most part the relationship is non-sexual, but in many cases men are physical with each other in order to fulfill their unmet needs. Let's be clear. Homosexuality, especially fornication, in India is punishable by life imprisonement so nobody would ever say they are gay. They just are... Yes, there is a growing gay community here as in everywhere else. But for now the men are close, the women are less powerful and the relationship is very, very complex.

WONDERFUL FRIENDS
The folks I met in Rishikesh were critical in my path. As many of you know I have felt a lot of anymosity toward travelers and knowing them allowed me to accept that "travelers are people too," a realization that is necessary for my survival in the next year plus.

Beyond that the women are simply stunning. In addition to being beautiful outside they all have hearts of gold and in each of their ways allowed me into their lives and into their breakfast/lunch/dinner tables. I will see them again. Two in Goa for a birthday celebration and one in Thailand for a half-moon party.

On my last night we had a going away dinner and it was fabulous and fun and I was sad. Pictures (if I ever find a FAST connection) will come.

ADVENTUROUS DEPARTURE
I was a bit stuck in Rishikesh, but the day before I was to leave I was told to got to a shop with my bag and R250. I went and there was Mr. Parwel in his moped waiting for me. I got up on it with bag and all and we zipped through the pedestrian streets until we got to the bus station. Once there we got me ticket. But, we were 1 hour early so he said, COME TO CHAI at MY HOUSE. Off we went and I spend an hour at his very simple home with his wife and child (yes, pixs). We had chai, spoke about Brazil and he spoke about his family. As I was leaving his wife and he presented me with a picture of the G-d they pray. He said it was to protect me. I was touched and felt once again very lucky to be here. We and his 3 yr-old son got on the mopped and zipped to the bus station where I took a bus from 10pm-4am.

I arrived in Delhi (which I have kind of not liked so far) and at 4am bargained, yelled, screamed at the three wheel drivers

until they charged me a reasonable price. And, the driver got lost, and I had to help him find his way. Argh. These days I have my process. Example from yesterday morning.

First, the ride from Uncle's house to Khan Market should cost R30.

First TW: How much to KM? R70! What, it's supposed to be R30. R70! That's not nice!
Second TW: How much to KM? R80! What, it's supposed to be R30. R80! That's not nice!
Third TW: How much to KM? R40! Let's go.

I have saved here and there, but the real deal is that it's fun. Lately the TW drivers laugh at me because I have been taking the vikrams/tempos. These are TW that fit about 10 people in them instead of just me. We all get on and go from pt A to pt B. A normal ride in a R30 TW costs R5. At train, etc stations I pass by all the TW drivers who yell overinflated prices at me and they say. "It's tight in there with all the people!" I say, "I LOVE INDIA. I LOVE INDIANS!!!!" We all laugh. In many cases I do go by myself. For instance, this morning I took a R200 taxi to the train stations since I had to be there at 5:30am and I was in no mood to fight.

Ok, the bugs are all over me. Gotta go.

Love and rockets,

Julio

Yoga, Culture and My Anti-Foreigner Perspective

2005-10-11T03:36:00.000-11:00

Rikishesh
10-11-2005 National Coming Out Day

NCOD Act
First, I came out to someone for the first time today. Whether folks guessed it or not I don't know. But, it was NCOD and I thought I should do my part. I came out to Magda, an wonderful Chilean woman I met in the last day.

YOGA Capital of the World
Rikishesh is known as the Yoga Capital of the World. I am not sure why since they basically teach Iyengar everywhere. Now, yes, it's everywhere, but still. It should be Iyengar capital of the world. I am ok saying this because I am certain it was foreigner who dubbed it that. The city also has many, many ashrams where people live, stay for months, and learn about meditation and yoga and Buddhist things and Krishna. It's quite an interesting place, very spiritual, with lots of Sadhus (Indian Spiritual Seekers, many who have given up their lives as business men and drs. etc to seek enlightment). By 4am the town is awake with people doing their dutiful chores and by 8pm it's starts to slow down and by 10pm it's dead. It's quite wonderful in these ways. I was up at 6:30 today and watched the sunset in front of the Ganges with folks meditating.

Rikishesh's yoga and meditation has also attracted tourists here for ages. According to Lonely Planet the Beatles made this town the site that it is. They came here in 1968 and stayed at the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi ashram. Ringo did not like it, but everyone else did, for a while. Later they all left because the Maharishi was a ass to women. It is where they wrote Yellow Submarine and basically their double disc - White Album. From that point on Rikishesh has attracted foreigners from far and wide. Still, most of the tourists are actually Israelis who find it close and also, as I have been told, that if offers a liberation Israel does not. After that you have your Americans, Japanese, Europeans, and the last to arrive, the South Americans since SA is so far.

What does this mean? It means Rikishesh speaks English, tourist English. It means I see hundreds of travelers every day. It means I am pulling my hair out trying to balance cultural diversity (which I love) with cultural co-optation (which I hate). So, I went from the Himalayas and total immersion to here. Yes, I have felt cultural shock in India, but it has been the shock of how many NON-Indians can change the face of a place.

My CACA, My Life
So, let's be clear. We live in a world where I can't possibly call the kettle black. And, I live in a world where so much that comes up for me is my own caca. Am I this "type" of tourist? Am I the guy today who stood in front of a beautiful prayer ceremony having his moment with the Ganges or am I the 4 tourists that, like bees, swarmed around a woman and her daugther trying to do a prayer and put their prayer candle to float in the river? I had a zoom camera. So, what does that make me? What is culturally appropriate? 10 feet, 20 feet? I don't know, I really don't. I do know I had to leave the prayer ceremony because I got overwhelmed by the tourists and our collective digital media. I meditated and then came here to write to you - to breath it out so to speak.

I don't know if it's the women who wear low-rise pants in a country where that is just not ok, or the way that women wear halter type tops when it has been written everywhere that this is not ok. Maybe it's the men with the tatoos of "OM" or the fact that so many tourists have money and buy motorcycles in the pedestrian streets. Indians do it too, but it feels different. The bindi, the dot married Indian women wear. Foreigner women and men wear them - what the f***ing, f***? Or, maybe, it's all just like the pictures. You take them because you must have them, you must have a piece of this culture so that you can call it your own when in fact you only understand an ion of what it is all about.

Let me go back to the beginning. I arrived here 48 hours ago. Back then (and in travel time that is really long ago) I was in shock. I went to a hotel where I only saw white people (from all over the world), I went to eat at place where I saw 20% Indians, I went to a restaurant where there was no Indian food only granola, swandwiches and coffee. I was terrified. I ate with a fork and I hated it. I hated them all. Intensily.

Then I met Richard from England, and a guy from Canada and another guy from England, and a guy from Israel and a girl from Israel and we talked about the World Cup teams and I had a great time, while secretly thinking - since I hate everyone here I am glad Brazil is the best team in the world.

Richard told me about a hard yoga class. This new young guy - Prakesh - has combined new styles and has been attracting all the foreigners. I thought, yoga, ok. Let's go. Not ONE Indian in the class. There were 25 of us. Again, it was not about internationalism because the room had people from all over the world. It was the non-Indian piece. Well, of course, we had our Indian guru.

It just so happens that the class last night was changed from yoga to pranyama (sp) breathing. P. breathing is a type of exercise that uses breath work to get you to go "under" to experience intense feelings, often times from childhood or some pain you may have inside. It opens your chakras. Now, P. breathing only really works if you are totally connected to the people who are doing it around you. I did it once before at one of my yoga retreats in the US and it did nothing for me.

We started the exercises and I don't know if it was where I am in my life, this trip, the Himalayan air, the madness in my heart, but I breathed. I breathed like my little life depended on it for a good 1.5-2 hours. I breathed fast, slow, faster, faster, faster, and when I could not do it anymore I kept breathing to the rythms we were given. And suddenly it clicked, the girl next to me and I just went at it and I could feel the vibrations of her body near mine, I could feel the breaths of the people around me and yet I chose only me. I focused deeper than I ever have, and my lungs expanded, my diaphram contracted, my arms went up and down as directed and BAM - tears. They just rolled down my face, and I could feel them near my nose and they flew as I kept breathing. Near the end we slowed down, we lay down (the breathing was on our knees). I lay there and so much flashed through my heart and I focused and I cried.

The moment the lights went on the three women around me came over and hugged me and thanked me. I was a bit lost at first. Then, Ramina said - Thank you for you energy. I felt connected to you and carried at so many points during the breathing. I thanked them too because I too felt the connection. One of them suggested it was the Latin Energy (they are all Chileans). Maybe it was, I am not sure. I think it was more. I felt, as was suggested to me in the Himalayas, that beyond the skin, the bones, the nationalities was our energy inside. That energy is the essence that connects us all to each other, that makes us fall in love with each other, makes us help other without always knowing why, makes us feel hunger, cold, laugh and cry.

After class we all went to dinner together and laughed alot, shared travel stories and I have been spending time with them. It's complicated.

I am beginning to discover where I fall, or better, I am getting to practice where I have often felt I fall. Here are some of my ideas - TODAY.

I don't like cultural ownership.
People cannot convert to Hindu so let the Hindus be. Those that want to convert to other things should do a pilgrimage to learn. So, so many of the foreigners are here dopped out on drugs and finding enlightment. If people came to places like this for yoga, meditation, etc to learn from the best, etc then fine. Learn, go home or do, truly as the Sadhus do. I heard of several Canadian men who have been in the Himalayas for 15 years, in the forest, dedicated to enlightment. I respect them intensily. They are not picking the good and throwing away the bad.

I don't like people wearing things that are deeply cultural.
Fine, wear a shawl, wear, a hat, wear even a sari (I am not sure how culturally significant they are yet). But, a bindi, hindu paraphanelia, etc that rubbs me the wrong way. For instance, I am all for people wearing Israeli hats, the beautiful blouses from the region, but if folks started to make fashion statements with kippas I would not be happy.

Audre Lorde has a beautiful poem called WHITE SISTERS, RADICAL FRIENDS and it talks about white women who have lots and lots of pictures of themselves with their colored friends on their walls, and stuff from places like Africa. But, they do nothing to help the lives of the underrepresented. I say, come to Rikishesh, but also donate money don't just participate in this culture because it's cheap in the exchange market or because it's based on work and LIFETIME dedication and not currency. Don't pick and choose.

TODAY, and G-d knows I can change, I think am definitely participating in this madness and I don't know if my travels are helping or hurting this global process. I am one of the people I am talking about. I cannot deny it. In my heart I hope that my commitment to the work I have done and want to continue to do balances it all out in some way. G-d, I don't know. For now, I remind myself every moment of every day - be respectful, you are a guest in this beautifully complex country and as a guest there are things you should do and things you should not do. Take the lead from your hosts, start by asking, follow your gut, and lead with your heart.

Julio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

Char Dham Part II

2005-10-11T03:35:00.000-11:00

Just wanted to add a couple more things to the Char Dham entry.

SCHOOL:
It was amazing. Wherever we went, no matter how poor, the kids had they full uniforms and went to school every morning. Many of the them walked for miles up or down the road next to the fast moving cars. They held hands, they laughed, waved at us, but they went to school. In some cases gparents took them, mothers carried them. The schools were open air, we could see them as we drove by.

ANTI-AMERICAN:
Of course, the tour had its anti-whatevers. A man who made sure at every point that I knew there was something wrong with the US. The food, the people, the religions, the government, the power, the way Americans dress, the laziness, etc.

I just listened the first couple of days since I basically agreed with everything he was saying. For instance, why do American continue to buy MADE in CHINA products when the government disagrees with the Chinese government? By the 4th day it I didn't mind the criticism, but it just got old. I fought back a little bit, and tried to be respectful. But, of course, I mistepped a little.

One day he pointed to my Lonely Planet and went off about how Americans depict Indians and his culture. As politely as I could I told him I agreed that countries sometimes depict other countries unfairly, but Lonely Planet is made in the UK and the editor and most of the writers of the India book are Indians who have migrated to the UK and also the US. He looked at me very annoyed and in disbelief. I nicely put the book in front of him and told him to look at it for himself. He picked it up, studied the inside cover and was quite for 2-3 days. The last couple of days I got some more of his wrath, but I decided that with both of his children living in America he has got a lot of caca to work through so I just smiled every time he said something.

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net

CHAR DHAM TOUR

2005-10-10T22:38:00.000-11:00

The Char Dham Tour
September 29-October 9

First I wanted you to say THANK YOU - DANYAVAAD - to Vinod Ganatra who encouraged (true India style - that means she said "You MUST do this..." to do this tour. I so, so, so wish she could have done it with me. I also wanted to tell her daughter Nisha that she really needs to get with the program and do this tour!!! LOL!!!!

Life is a Journey - Complete it (Hwy Sign)

The Char Dham Tour is a religious Hindu tour done by hundreds of thousands of Indians every year. It consists of going into the Himalayas to ancient temples where different Hindu G-ds did something sacred, and honoring a lot and doing things like going to the mouth of the Ganges River to take a holy bath and wash away all of your sins. There are several spots, but the pilgrimage is focuses on four temples - Yamunotri, Gangotri, Kedarnath and Badrinath. Getting to the temples requires that one goes as high as 12,000 feet in some cases and trek on foot (in my case only) for 14KM up (steep) and 14K down. I will let you go to a website that explains them further and focus on my experience on this entry. For more on the temples -- http://char-dham.indiantravelportal.com

My tour started with a crazy bus trip from Delhi to Rishikesh, the town from where we departed. The bus conductor (here there is a driver and a conductor) got in a big fight with someone, and then the driver got involved. After a few men grabbed each other, slapped each other and screamed a lot, the two got back on the bus. The police then put a barracade in front of the bus and the driver promplty tried to run it over - silly man. The police then came in the bus and pulled both of them out by force. At this point we were stuck in front of the bus station line and holding up traffic. The passengers looked around and for about 1.5 hours nobody came by or told us anything. I could not understand anything that was happening so I opened the Tao of Pooh and read the first few chapters. Eventually the two returned and we started our very, very fast bus ride to Rishikesh. Crazy? Hmmm, not so much anymore. Many of the men I have seen in India are pretty machista and they do quite a bit of yelling and slapping. Yes, they don't really punch, they slap each other around then yell some more, and then it's over. My ignorance is bliss.

The tour officially started on the 30th of September. I woke up early (6:30am - my normal time now) and went outside. The bus,which you will see a picture of when I can load it up was small, dirty, but ready to take on the hills of the Himalayas. I, and 25 Indians entered it at 8am (departure time, 7am). IST is critical to know about - Indian Standard Time. Within 1 hour of being on the bus Mr. Saraugi came over to sit next to me. He announced that I needed to understand that for the next 10 days I was part of the bus family. I smiled and told him I was happy to be. Yes, I was the lone foreigner and here I was with 6 different Indian families from all over India (North - Assam, Kolkata, Central - Bombay, South - Bangalore and Mysoor). Everyone spoke great Indian English, a version of English I have come to understand more and more. I laughed inside at my life and the things I get myself into, and I was completely, intensily happy that I would spend the next 10 days of my life on a religious pilgrimage without any other foreigners and with a group of people that I could come to know and love for the days to come.

Always Alert Avoids Accidents (Hwy Sign)

The bus ride as a transportation experience was wild. I love to bunjee jump, hang glide, etc, but I was not ready for the hundreds of times I imagined my body falling over the precipices we passed by. The side of the road was literally one foot from the wheel of the bus. Yes, the Indian government has done a great job at creating roads to get to Char Dham, yes our bus driver rocked and got us around the bends safely, but man oh man did l live on the edge, literally. Additionally, many of the roads were one way and we spent time spinning around other cars and trying to avoid being hit. Cars, iron bars, people, etc, passed by my window at about ONE inch distance. I could have stolen the apples one woman had on her lap.

Be a Friend on the Bend (Hwy Sign)

Inside the bus I was adopted by Mr. Saraugi and some member of his family (not all) and they fed me most of the trip - nuts, spices, fruits, curried fruits, roots I have never heard of, leaves of some special tree in Asam and so much more. They were great. Mr. Saraugi set next to me most of the trip and I absolutely adore him. I was the youngest person on the bus, his wife is 34, he is 42 and everyone else was 59-70 something. So, Mr. Saraugi made me his little brother and proceeded to command me around, which was fine with me. I fought back when I didn't like it and we laughed a lot.

The bus ride also consisted of many, many religious songs, a lot of talking and laughing, a lot of sleeping and some rumblings about the driving. Still, in general nobody really complained. This was a pilgrimage, it's suppose to be hard.

Without Effort, There is Nothing (Hwy Sign).

The 10 day experience was like any 10 day tour you may expect. As the days went on people got to know each other, some groups stayed to themselves, and I kind of floated from each of the 4 couples (The Sharmans, The Chakrabortys, The Pratanarthans, The Ganeshs), the Boys Club (5 men from Bangalore that came together) and the Saraugi family (8 members). With each group I learned something new - about the g-ds, the food in the south, the lives of their children, what the tour meant for them, and I shared about myself. With each group I was the same and different and I molded to their personalities and spoke to them about Brazil and the US. I found out on the 8th day that they had all given me a nickname - Langoon (sp) a type of tall, agile monkey from India. Fitting as I have been referred to as a monkey for most of my life.

The ebbs and flows also came. The first couple of days were wonderful. The excitement was in the air. We got to Yamumotri and took the first Holy Bath and people were rivetting. I loved it. They all welcomed me in participating in the different practices, and I only participated when invited. On about the 5th day people we were all pretty tired. It was the day that we were just on the bus, from 7am (8am IST) to 6pm. This was my anti-India morning. I did not want to be on the bus (my knees really hurt), I did not want to eat the roots of anything, I did not want to be anywhere. I put on my headset and looked out the window. But, by lunch time I was ok and back on the band wagon. The last day was good but also tough since were again on the bus all day.

There was a great deal that was amazing for me. Here is a list to give you a sense.

-Being inside Indian culture was invaluable as I travel more here. The group and the mountains kept me closed off from the few foreigners I spotted from the bus. I wanted it that way. It was important.
-The kindness of people who took the time to explain things to me, who did not allow me to pay for my meals because I was their " guest", the endless help they gave me as I ate with my hands, asked how to say things, etc, was simply amazingly human - beyond race, nationality, class or anything else. At was about, as Hindus say, the energy behind the shell we wear (our bodies).
-The Himalayas are magical. The roads, the rocks, the trees, the monkeys, the snow, the sunset, the sunrise, the cold, the hot, the treks. It is truly a blessed place and everyone should see it in their lifetime. Something very, very great and powerful has to have made it because humans could never make it so perfect.
-The spirituality of the Temples was beyond Hindu. You could feel and taste it in the air. The commitment of the travelers, the age of the practices, the ancient everything that told about history and life and struggle. Rich, poor, southern, northern, no matter what, people were there to praise the g-ds.
-The poverty, the hard life of the Nepalese who came over the border, the children working with their families. the people breaking rocks for a living, the cold, the struggle to carry a tourist either on your back or on a pallaquin (Indian or foreigner) up the mountain for little money. It was all so intense and eye opening, and horrific and beautiful when the children in all of this madness would look at me and smile, just laugh at the odd foreigner or brigthen up when I took out my camera.
-Participating in the practices, especially the holy baths felt like I was in fact washing away my sins, rebirthing in some way, getting into this phase of my crazy life, remerging from the last few years of tough encounters both in the professional (evil boss) and the personal (evil ex) realms.

And, perhaps most important for me on this tour was a conversation I had with one of the man from the Boys Club, the one that looks scaringly like my grandfather Jair. While so many of you who love me have told me what he said, it always the stranger's encounter that hits us. As I discussed Hinduism and Buddhism with him I spoke about the guilt I so often feel for being able to do this. Knowing what I know about poverty, about my family in Brazil, about slavery. and etc I have had difficulty negotiating my own priviledge and figuring out how to sit in my own skin as I see struggle and simply travel through it knowing what I have back in the States. He said it simply, "This is what the G-ds have given you, accept it. This is your karma." So, I continue on my travels and my own heart working to accept that my mother's struggle allows me my priviledge, my step-dad's teachings give me a strong moral compass, that my own cleaning of U.S. homes as a child worker helping my mom, and my recent good work allows me what I have today. As I tell all of my kids of wealth that I train to give their resources and make this world a better place. "Guilt isn't going to help you or any of the NGOs that need your money, talent and commitment will. Moveon.org and do something." Isn't it funny how in life we so often forget to listen to ourselves?

Anyhoo, that's it for now. I could tell you more about how I learned that farting and burping are accepted by some folks in India and that it happens while you are at the dinner table, or that I learned how a female mule does #1, or that I learned how to order potatoes, ocra, a few breakfasts and lots and lots of chai in Hindi, but I will write more later.

Lots of kisses to all.

Julio

"Into the Woods to Find the Giant..."
www.brazilbean.net