Reflections About My Last Entry

Writing the last entry was an experience. All in all I am very glad I did it. It seems to have been an important part of the process I have embarked on. I was also reminded that no matter how much I crave to be real, transparent and authentic, life reminds me that our liberation in some way stops where other people´s lives begin. I reckon it is the equilibrium of it all, living in a planet with so many people, and trying to be good so that goodness comes to us.

Consequently, I am very happy for the numerous emails I received from people discussing their own experiences with the topic, and thanking me for being open, and giving them a sense of OKness about their own stories. This for me was much of my intent in writing it. And, it was the gift of this type of openess.

And, I wish that my email had not bothered others. I received emails expressing the wish that I had not sent my entry out, heard of negative comments people made, and others requested to be removed from the blog. I sincerely apologize if I offended anyone. It was not my intent. I hope that it did not create a wall, rather than my intended opening, between me and you.

I also wanted to speak to two specific items in the email.

One is that it should be obvious to all that my life experiences deeply affect my mother who provided safety and care for me in every moment of my life. She is a hero to me in a million different ways, but more than anything in her endless goal of providing the best life possible for me. The experiences I had, the moments of danger, were meant to be in some way. I don´t think anyone who has ever loved me would have ever wanted bad things to happen to me. Yet, life is bigger than our wishes and bad things happen. It reminds me of one of my favorite songs about parenthood - On Children. It say that "Children are not our children, they are the sons and the daughters of life´s longing for itself. They come through your, but they are not from your, they belong not to you." We, the children of our parents, belong to life and its roller coaster.

The other item had to do with the people with whom I have chosen to share my romantic life. It should be obvious to those who have been with me, and those who have met my partners that I have not selected "bad men" to be with. Yes, it has happened and the "deceased" and Richard (long, long ago) definitely fall in the category of bad men in the end of the equation of my life with them. Still, I have selected outstanding men in my life and I am very happy to know in my heart that from each of them I have learned, been deeply loved, and grown more and more into who I am today. I am thankful that after so much that I have lived that life has brought me such outstanding people full of love, compassion and sincerity. Thank you.

I hope everyone is well. Things are good with me. Working very hard on all the items I wrote about, and feeling great about where the road is taking me. Oz does not seem as far as before.